Crying all the time.

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Wishst
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 1/4/2010 4:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Everybody,
Happy New Year.  I have a question that I'm not sure where it belongs.  I had a wonderful Christmas, my daughter was home from San Diego and we had a house full of people.  When it was happening I didnt know how I would do it, I was exhausted, was in pain and said I'd never do it again, but I also enjoyed having so many people around, and the house looked wonderful after almost killing myself doing it though.  but anyways, here is my problem.  Ever since my daughter left yesterday I can't stop crying.  She's my only daughter and I miss her terribly and we live in MA all the way over the other side of the country.  So we don't get to see each other often.  We talk almost everyday, and she's come home before and left but I have never been this bad.  I'm afraid I'm going to slip into my deep depression again, but I'm on Cymbalta for the depression and fibro, which has really helped with the pain.  I have two sons and my DH that live with me, but I just sit at home all day and am on the laptop not doing much.  I am on disabiltiy and don't have a car so I can't volunteer anywhere, but I was alright up until now, Now I feel so useless and miss my daughter so much and it's only been two days.  I wondered if anyone had anything to add or has felt this way before.  I love reading all the posts and have added to many but now I need help!  I need to stop crying!  But I keep thinking about when my daughter was here and how much fun we had.  She's 25 by the way and lives in San Diego, so it's not like she's in college and will be home soon. Thanks for listening.  At least I've stopped crying while I've been typingrolleyes
Gentle Blessings
Deb
_____________________________________________________________________________________
 
fibro, diabetes, neropathy, depression, IBS, chronic anemia, hypothyroidism, chronic fatigue, sleep apnea
 
 


Sherrine
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17096
   Posted 1/4/2010 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Deb, I go through the same thing.  I live in Florida and two of my children live in northern Ohio.  My son came to visit me the first week in December and we had a wonderful time but, yes, I cried for several days after he left.  I haven't seen my daughter for 1 1/2 years.  So, it's really hard.  I try not to think about it too much because I do get very emotional about them.
 
I'm legally deaf so I can't even talk to them on the telephone.  But, we email each other a lot during the week so that helps me feel closer to them.  I'll be heading up there this summer hopefully but, again, it's hard to leave to come back home!  So, I do know what you are going through. 
 
Try to focus on the good times you had and don't think that you won't see her for a long time.  That's actually negative thinking and is making you so sad.  Instead, start planning for when you can be together again.  That will make you feel better and have something to look forward to.  And the tears?  I can cry at the drop of a hat these days!  Maybe we both should invest in water wings!    
 
Sherrine 
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 1/4/2010 8:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Deb, It is hard when you live so far away from people you love. My only child, my daughter lives in
Wisconsin and we live in Arkansas now. My daughter bought us a web cam and now I can see and visit
with her daily. It is wonderful to able to see my daughter, little grandaughter and son-in- law. You should
consider getting one. They are not pricey and there are online services for free.

We usually see eachother a few weeks out of the year. We moved from Wisconsin when she was in
her first year of college and she is now 34. I miss her and I know she is very happy and that makes me
happy. Saying goodbye is always hard and we both tear up and I have a hard time for a week later.

I don't know if you have ever scrapbooked before, but you could go through old family photos and put
something together. I love to send funny or sweet cards to my daughter every so often for no reason.
Know that she loves you and you have a special connection no matter how far apart you are.

I don't think it is uncommon for people to be blue after the holiday season. We all rush around trying
to get things done. We're overtired and just need to get back into the normal routine of things.

Hoping you feel better soon Deb

Hugs, Robin
MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 1/4/2010 10:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Deb!

Sounds like you hit an emotional nerve with many of us. I too can cry instantly at just a thought or a picture or a word from someone else. It frustrates me since any emotion makes my eyes leak...happy or sad.

One thing I will share that my doctor shared with me. I take Effexor and have for a couple of years but before then I took something different and before that one it was yet another one. What my doc told me is that most often antidepressants lose their effectiveness after two or three years and then it's time to try a different one. The way I know it's time to change is my crying gets worse and worse and I'm more sad than I should be. There are several types of antidepressants and within those types are several brands so most often you and your doctor can find a new one that will work for you if you need to try a change.

This might not be what is going on with you but I thought I'd share my experience in case it may help you or someone else.

Glad you are here!
Chutz
The three grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for. — Alexander Chalmers

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
(/|\)
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.


AustenFan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 1/5/2010 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm just wondering if you are going through a grieving process. Your daughter's leaving is a loss, and maybe you need to just let yourself feel the feelings.

I understand the fear of slipping into another bout of depression, and if the sadness continues for an extended period of time, you might want to check with your doctor. But, you may find if you allow yourself to cry, grieve, and get it all out, you might feel better.

You've gotten some great advice on other ways to keep in touch, and I hope you are able to work through the pain and find other ways to fill that void. I've got a child who will be leaving home in a year, so I'm already trying to figure out how I'm going to deal with it.

I guess I'm with Sherrine, after you have allowed yourself to grieve a bit, you could focus that energy on planning your next visit. I read once that the key to happiness is having someone to love (you've got that), something to do, and something to look forward to. Planning the next visit could help take care of the other two. Not to mention the other 3 guys in your life who would probably love a little extra attention. :)

I hope you feel better soon. :)

Hugs - Austen
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 1/5/2010 8:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Deb, I think missing one of your children that much is normal. I have never cried when one of my children has left as I did when we put our oldest son on a plane to go to Okinawa for two years. I was use to him being away from home but I knew I couldn't just pick up the phone and call him when ever I wanted to while he was over there and I was a basket case for days and couldn't stop crying.
 
I hope the blues leave you soon.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
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Wishst
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 1/5/2010 12:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone for you kind words and help!
I should have know that whatever it is that is troubling just talking to friends that understand would make things better! I am feeling better today so far, I think it it a combination of many things! I, (like many of you) have been killing myself trying to get ready for the Holidays for weeks now because it takes us so much longer to do things now! I will try to remember that next Or (this year) I also loved having everyone in this house again. You see we live in what was my parents home and mine growing up and there have been so many memories here but for a few years, there havent been that many crowds here, we've been going to my niece or nephews. And it was so nice to have people here for two weeks! My DH was also on vacation for those two weeks, along with one of my son's who's a teacher, so finally everyone left Sunday and back to work yesterday. Also there was always the "three girls" together from when I was little with my grandmother, my mom and myself, and it was like that with my daughter for awhile, but then my mom passed away the same year my daughter left for San Diego, so it's just me now. (pity party) but I am so proud of her that she is little miss independance and she has a life out there! I't a beautiful place to visit! So I will focus on our next visit, try to take up or restart a hobby here to keep my busy and focus on my guys. I'm going to a basketball game in a few minutes my son is coaching, so today is a good day. Again, thank you so much for all your love and thoughts as you all know they truely help so much. Gentle hugs to all!
Gentle Blessings
Deb
_____________________________________________________________________________________
 
fibro, diabetes, neropathy, depression, IBS, chronic anemia, hypothyroidism, chronic fatigue, sleep apnea
 
 


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 1/5/2010 1:52 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm glad your doing better Deb. If it is as cold there as it is here in Illinois I think now would be a good time to plan that vacation to San Diego. smilewinkgrin  Now we have a winter storm coming, don't know how much snow we are suppose to get. I think I stocked up on everything today.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
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Littleneck
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 599
   Posted 1/5/2010 8:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh dear, I've started crying at every goodbye, every leavetaking of friends, family, vacations - any time I have to say farewell or see you later. This has been going on for 2 or 3 years now.

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 1/6/2010 7:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello all; It's been a long time since I've posted. I lost my Dad over the Holidays, started crying all the time, at every little thing, took up w. an old lover, it's been extremely rough. So, I can relate. I am very vulnerable, things are very rocky in this new/old relationship (he drinks - any input on how to detach would be welcomed), but he was also extremely supportive during my battle w. my Dad's cancer, through the wake, through the arrangements, etc. so I am not at the point where I am ready to let go, right now, despite our multitudinous problems. However, I am so shaky, so vulnerable, and frankly quite lost. So, yes, I cry everyday. Usually in AM's first thing as I am in so much pain from the Fibro, upon awakening, it is really easy to get the water works started. Hard to get em stopped, though. I guess, in a way, it is better than bottling it all up inside. So, if planning a crying session first thing every morning when you have lot's of things to bawl about is any help to anyone, go for it. Xmas, was to be survived, this year. It seemed to go on forever. Now of course, it will be tinged by the loss of my Dad, for quite some time. The issue about anti-depressants losing their effectiveness, after several years is interesting. Does anyone have any more info on this? I have been on the same anti-depressant forever, and it has limited my libido, and I think it really doesn't do anything, anymore, or worse, may be keeping me depressed. I am trying to access a psychiatric consult, however, since I've moved jurisdictions, I am no longer eligible for care from my prior psychiatrist, and haven't been able to access another yet. I see my PCP today and will inquire, perhaps he has a referral. So, Best to All in the New Year, It is a new Year, Here's to making it as positive as possible.
Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.


Wishst
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 1/6/2010 9:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear tyno3,
I can relate not only to the crying everyday, although mine has gotten better! Exhaustion I think can do that to you. But my Dad died the week before Christmas 11 years ago and it does bring some unhappy memories back at that time. It does get better as time goes on. I just try to remember the good things about my dad. Christmas was his favorite time of the year and some people say how awful to have him go at that time, but when could be a better time? He loved Christmas and now I feel he's always looking over us especially that time of year. As for your taking up with someone who drinks a lot, I don't have experience with that but do know that we tend to find someone that is comforting to us during a time of trouble, also maybe you need someone to care for, since your dad is gone. Don't get yourself into more trouble! Try limiting the time you spend with him, try thinking about why it didnt work out last time! Be careful...Think of yourself, you deserve better! And finally to the antidepressent thing...it's true you can become immune to meds, and they can stop working, I hope you ask your PCP about it today, I had been on Paxil for years and then go switched to Zoloft, didnt like that much so went back to Paxil, but now am on Cymbalta, which has done wonders for my fibro pain, each person is so different so what works for you might not for someone else, so never go by other's experiences! I wish you the best of luck, I know that crying and not being able to control it is a scary thing, but there are so many people on her that are so loving and helpful! Keep in touch! It's the best thing you can do! Gentle hugs coming your way!
Gentle Blessings
Deb
_____________________________________________________________________________________
 
fibro, diabetes, neropathy, depression, IBS, chronic anemia, hypothyroidism, chronic fatigue, sleep apnea
 
 


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 1/6/2010 9:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Part of your depression over this could very well be hormones. Women are constantly going through hormonal changes. and it only gets worse as you age. I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time with this. You may want to talk to your doctor. He may be able to help. If you go, though, tell him to check your hormone levels, just to be safe. One of my son's therapists is going through hormonal changes and her emotions are all over the place. I hope you start to feel better. Keep us posted. *soft hugs*
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 1/6/2010 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank-you Deb. Brought tears to my eyes, lol. So, yes, you are absolutely bang on in your post. We do turn to odd means to achieve comfort in times of trouble and loss. And yes, limiting time spent and remembering why it didn't work out last time (the disappearing, drinking, and then lying to cover up, as if I were interfering somehow); well that is what tore us apart twice before and it's beginning to look like a re-hash of same old, same old. And the anti-depressants, do you have anxiety? I have BiPolar II which is anxiety and depression as polar opposites, w. a tad of mania thrown in especially at times like this, well, I would try the SNRI's as I know they work for Fibro pain, but am terrified the nortriptiline, or nor whatever, will increase my anxiety, which keeps me pacing the floors, can't eat, can't sleep. So, I am in a quandry here. I will try to get it in on this PCP visit but may have to make another appt. as I have 4 things already to address. Many health issues, some associated w. the Fibro and the Bi II but some assoc. with just getting older. So, cross your fingers for me, here goes, I'll post how it went as others may have similar difficulties.

MrsCavbar
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 1/7/2010 9:25 AM (GMT -7)   
At my last dr's appt I discussed with him the emotional ups and downs I have when my son's visiting his nanna (he's 4) It seems I cry constantly and at the drop of a hat when he's gone, my dr believes it's anxiety, and increased my anti-anxiety meds during my son's away time. When I have hormonal changes, PMS, it's especially hard and my DH gives a warning to our friends during that time, which is only semi-amusing "Rabid Grizzly week" and warns them to "Play dead" LOL This visit I dug out all my old scrapbooking stuff and restarted my son's book as well as made Christmas cards, and it helps keep my mind off the fact I feel like I've lost a part of myself. Fortunately, he's supposed to be home this wkend and he's only been gone 2 wks instead of the month he's usually gone. Thank God for preschool!
Lola

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

My train of thought derailed long ago, now I take the bus, few more stops, but I eventually get there.
Lola

FM, costocontritis, wide spread arthritis, fibroid tumors, PTSD, 2 heart attacks at 22, PID


Buspar 10mg, Acetometaphen 500mg, Zantac 150mg, B-complex, Tramadol 150mg


Wishst
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 1/7/2010 10:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Lola, My DH laughs now when I tell him it could be hormones, menapause....He seems to think I've been using that excuse for years! LOL. It must be so hard on you having your litttle one gone for so long. Stay busy, it does help, I'm off to start cleaning and laundry now, which I actually am lookking forward to doing, I'm feeling much better today! Hope you have a good weekend when he comes home, crying takes so much out of you and then you feel awful after, but it has to be done sometimes! Gentle hugs!
Gentle Blessings
Deb
_____________________________________________________________________________________
 
fibro, diabetes, neropathy, depression, IBS, chronic anemia, hypothyroidism, chronic fatigue, sleep apnea
 
 


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 1/7/2010 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Tyno, I'm so sorry about your dad passing away (((hug))). You have been through so much with him and your step-mother I'm sure you feel lost now without him to take care of. When your so use to taking care of someone and then they pass you have to find something to fill all that time.
 
People come into our lives sometimes for a reason and maybe you needed the boyfriend to help you through all this but I have a feeling you won't need him when you get stronger.
 
Crying to me is very good for everyone when you are hurting cause it releases endorphins.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
 
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tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 1/10/2010 4:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank-you so much, Marlee 2; I think you are absolutely right, for anyone who may find themselves in a similar predicament. I am torn. This Boyfriend is a very special, very sensitive man w. many demons pursuing him from birth. He is my world right now, as my father was for five plus years. I alone am still trying to get Dad's business affairs in order w. absolutely no help from anyone else in this family of mine, not a family at all, just a conglomeration of people who by "mischance and lack of planning seem thrown together". Some family members are aligning themselves w. a psychotic sister who has had nothing to contribute to all of the pain and suffering I went through w. my Dad except to say; my motive was to exploit my Dad. Some believe her, others just avoid getting involved except to throw arrows into the tent. Such a trying time for me. Also, my physical health has gone out the window, completely. I am in constant pain, from IBS, Fibro, and some bladder condition that is elusive. Cloudy urine and pain. On a positive front, I have an apt. tomorrow w. a female doctor, a new doctor who is taking new patients, and am so looking forward to it as I finally concluded my prior 'male' physician is a misogynist who dislikes treating women, period. Last app. he belittled me for not having a grasp on dates and times of prior appointments, when I just came through this horrific ordeal w. my Dad. I told him "time is subjective"' and that the wake alone, although 5 days seemed like 6 months. He called it a "difficult month". So, wish me luck that I can find a compassionate and competent PCP who can help me sort through this physical mess.

Irish Babe
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1371
   Posted 1/10/2010 7:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Tyno, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear father. I know how hard that is, my father is gone 30 yrs this past 4th of July. I still feel that loss. I have read your posts for quite awhile, even when you felt terrible, you always were there for your father. You have been such a good daughter, a G O O D person. I greatly admire your strength. I wish things could be easier for you right now. Most importantly, you must take care of yourself. You have taken care of everyone else, now finally, pls take care of yourself.
 
I truly understand your feelings about your 'family'. You need distance from these ppl. Sometimes, it just feels like a group of ppl w/ the same last name, that's it!
 
I do hope this new dr will be able to help you, not add to your problems. Unfortunately, some female drs have that same 'tude. My former dr, a woman, couldn't understand why I was so upset due to the passing of my darling nephew. Very dismissive of my grief. I believe some drs are made of ice. A 'difficult month', an answer certainly worthy of all those yrs of education - almost sounded like a real person for minute. And we get to pay them for that crap that comes out of their mouths.
 
I will keep you in my prayers. You are a very special woman and you deserve some peace and contentment in your life.
 
God bless.  Alice.

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 1/10/2010 8:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank-you so much Alice. I have been through quite a time of it. I surely pray for a chance to have someone "listen" to all the physical repercussions which come out of five years of poor health care, due to a uncaring doctor and not having the luxury of taking time to seek out a better one, due to being tethered to a remote farmhouse. Now I am through the worst of it, I hope. Thank-you again, P.
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