anger management ideas please?

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do-over
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 1/15/2010 6:06 AM (GMT -7)   
this morning i am remembering that when i am REALLY angry, i deal with it physically.  i used to go for a run, power clean the house, something physical always helped.  but now that isn't an option ...
 
i know about meditation.  i pray too.  but darn it ... right now i am HOPPING mad and feel like i am going to BURST because I can't 'work it out' physically. 
 
grrrrrrr
 
other than drinking or wearing the enamel off my teeth (grinding them), what works?!?!?!

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40584
   Posted 1/15/2010 9:14 AM (GMT -7)   
What about finding some books on anger management. Or put up a mental stop sign when you feel it coming on. I use to get angry but don't have the energy anymore for it. It is a wasted emotion.

I hope that others come along with some advice for you. Keep up with the meditation. That works well for me.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


crazykitty
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Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 1/15/2010 9:38 AM (GMT -7)   
I no longer run either, it's been years, but I can still walk and that helps me. The fresh air
and change of scenery help.

Venting here always helps me. The fibro family is very supportive and understanding.
Talking out my anger helps me release it. Confront it and let it go if you can.

I do deep breathing exercises and it helps with stress and it relaxes me. Also soaking in a
hot bath, listening to music or having a good cry helps me.

As you know anger is an emotion that makes you tense and adds to the pain. I hope you
are feeling better soon.

Hugs, Robin
MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 


Sherrine
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17098
   Posted 1/15/2010 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Punching pillows help!  smilewinkgrin   I've done that before and then I settle down and focus on something else.
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


do-over
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 1/15/2010 5:37 PM (GMT -7)   
you guys are so NICE. i was having a tantrum all over the place this morning ... what a CRAPPY day!!!! woke at 1:00 with a migraine ... fell asleep just before i was supposed to go out the door ... scrambled to get kids ready .... realized hubby had my keys ... couldn't reach him on the cell .. called the gym he said he has been going to ... they have never heard of him ... tried another gym ... same thing .... FINALLY he called me back (i left LOTS of messages) and he confirmed that the keys were in his pocket ... and it was 5 minutes til i was supposed to be at work. all the time, my little girl is whining and fussing because she didn't go to the sitters .. who had "new hair-do thingys' for her today. UGH! i got to work an hour late, to a room full of ROWDY kids ... still with a screaming headache ... wondering what's up with the hubby. we hardly talk anymore anyway .. but for him to just not be where he said he would be at 5:15 in the morning is pretty un-nerving!!!!

so ... i lived through the day .. even though it continued to be BAD BAD BAD. i just took a Lortab .. which i NEVER do .. but this headache is so bad i can see fireworks in my right eye ... so HOPEFULLY I'll sleep and feel better in the morning.

sorry i sounded so MEAN today. i really AM a nice person! ;) ( rarely get that angry ... in fact, it kind of scared me to have such a STRONG ugly emotional fit!!!)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40584
   Posted 1/15/2010 9:55 PM (GMT -7)   
You didn't have a fit, you were venting and that is welcome here.  We are here for you through that.  I would be upset that he lied to me too.  Did he say where he was?  I hope that there is a logical explanation for that.  And to be an hour late for work, that would be frustrating too.  So I think you have a right to vent, and where is a better place than here. 
 
I hope that you get a good nights sleep tonight and that things look better in the morning.  Know that we are here for you.  Try to relax, stress only makes fibro worse.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 1/15/2010 11:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hope by the time you read this your headache has vanished and you're feeling better.
Some days are just plain crummy just like that old saying " When it rains, it pours" and
don't you know those are the days when you end up with the worst headache ever.

Venting is a good release, and it was good for you to get it out. You were hurting and
frustrated. I hope you are able to have a relaxing weekend. Keep us posted, we care!

Hugs, Robin
MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 


Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 1/16/2010 9:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Karebear, I laughed out loud when I read your post.smilewinkgrin You took the words right off my fingers cause I don't have the energy to spend it on anger either. Now if something upsets me I think about it and decide if I have the energy to deal with the person or let it go and most of the time I let it go. Maybe it's the age.
 
Do-over, I do remember days like you had when my children were young and I had a busy life and if you start off on the wrong foot in the mornings you might as well stay in bed all day cause it usually doesn't get better. I think we have all had days like that when one thing leads to another.
 
Glad that day is over for you.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
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harleybluz
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 1/18/2010 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I know that I play music really, really loud. Usually Rock and Rolll because it should be played loud. Then, to the other extreme, I also meditate but that's a bit harder to do "after" you've already gotten that upset. It's more like a preventative. I used to dance to the music too but that seems to be out of the question for me just lately. That really sucks because musice is my life and dancing goes hand in hand with it. This is such an awful dis-ease (can't understand why they call it a syndrome). It just makes me feel so totally helpless at times. Anyway you already know that so get out those old albums, CD's and 8 tracks and crank the hell out of them. Sing as loud as you can.

This is no Social Crisis... Just another Tricky Day (The Who)

 
FMS, IC, IBS (working on full alphabet) Asthma, Bipolar and now Migraines.  Let's see what else we can throw into my bag of tricks.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40584
   Posted 1/18/2010 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Marlee,
 
I just noticed your post.  I do think I am too old to get angry anymore, it just isn't worth it to me.  So I am happy most of the time. 
 
Do-over,
 
I hope that you are feeling better now.  It has been a couple of days, let us know how you are doing.
 
Good day to all!
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


fyhui
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/10/2011 11:28 PM (GMT -7)   
i have a question. im not sure if i have anger managment problems.
i have a "short fuse" when im angry ill hit anyone who is in my way. somethimes i get so angey that when i try to keep it in i cry and have a breakdwon. HELP do i have problems? what do i do? what should i do when i get angry?

Lyme14
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 381
   Posted 7/10/2011 11:32 PM (GMT -7)   
 
I used to bike when I was angry.  I miss doing that.  I also sometimes walked places to be alone.
 
I'm a music teacher, and not a doctor. Anything I post is based on my own experience and lay opinion.
Lyme, Babesiosis, Mycoplasma (Asthma), Fibromyalgia (Soft Tissue Injury), Costochondritis,
CFS (Mitochondrial Dysfunction), IBS (Candida & Leaky Gut), Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Adrenal Fatigue,
ITP (Low Platelets), TMJ, Plantar Fasciitis, Schamberg Purpura, Tinnitis, Allergies, MCS

ak angel
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 3197
   Posted 7/11/2011 1:11 PM (GMT -7)   
I like to journal the anger on paper or go for a walk.

Moonsinger
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 227
   Posted 7/11/2011 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   
The very best thing for me is to find something to laugh at. There's a few humour sites that I frequent that almost always make me feel at least a bit better.

Femangel
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 7/12/2011 8:14 AM (GMT -7)   
I do a combination of Sherrine's tip and harleybluz tip.... Play loud ass music and punch something. I've been planning to buy a big boxing sack for years now, for now i ussualy use a pillow or my sofa or anything basically thats soft enough not to hurt myself to much. After five minutes all the bad emotions have ussualt dissapeared and i can calm down again.
But everybody is different, so what works for me, might not work for you :)
Anyways hope you fgeel a bit better in the meantime :)

Fiona
"Live in the present, remember the past, but fear not the future, for it doesn't exist and never shall" (Christopher Paolini - Eldest)

Fibromyalgia, Scoliosis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Parasomniac.

FM Sufferer
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 7/13/2011 7:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Guys; I think (only my opinion mind u) that we all have under lying anger because we (got) & are sick & cannot do
what we used to do.I "loved"wearing heels.I tried to do that a few times after I got sick.Are you kidding me?(HA!) I just
about killed myself!Didn't make that mistake again! I really have to watch myself while driving because I can get road rage
really easy if I'm not careful.Of course, it doesn't help that I have a daughter at home that turned 16 today and thinks she
knows more than the good Lord himself! I am sooooo fed up; I'm ready to send her to boarding school just so I'll have some
peace! You combine all that life "in general" and throw in Drs. who won't listen: It's no wonder we're mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17098
   Posted 7/14/2011 8:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Let's face it.  Life is stressful and frustrating for everyone.  Then you add something like fibro and it can really be the pits.  The operative word in that last sentence is "can".  We can let it get to us or we can take a few deep breathes and calm down.  That definitely is far better for us all the way around.  Sometimes I have to really look hard to see positive things in stuff that is happening, but I always do...that or something funny.  If someone is cutting me off on the highway, I think of what I would like to do to them....crazy things...and it makes me laugh.  The anger has to leave when a smile comes on  your face.
 
FM, TRY to enjoy your daughter while she is home.  I had two daughters and a son and my son was far easier to raise than my daughters.  One daughter is 37 now and she STILL thinks she knows everything but she's on her own and I sure miss those days she was at home with me.  That time speeds by so quickly.  Try not to let her get to you.  If she thinks she knows best about something, and her way wouldn't hurt her too badly, let her do it her way and learn that Mom's really do know what they are talking about.  I allowed my kids to fall flat on their faces.  I learned that way as a child so I did this with my kids, too.  They all grew up to be wonderful adults and your daughter will, too.  And, if all else fails, go punch a pillow!  tongue
 
Sherrine
 
 
Forum Moderator/Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Diabetes, Osteoporosis, Glaucoma, Scoliosis
************************
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Marilyn K.
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 250
   Posted 7/14/2011 10:56 AM (GMT -7)   
I gotta good one for ya.  Monday I was mad at my husband, he was ignoring me.  Well the next day I forgot about it, but wanted to prove a point.  I forgot what I was mad about.
So the next day I had to fake I was mad. I couldn't remember what I was mad about. I am still trying to prove a point with him, but darn, it's hard to act mad when you really arien't.  LOL
 

Acheybody
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5929
   Posted 7/14/2011 5:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Marilyn,

Your post made me laugh out loud! Boy, can I relate. This happens to me all the time. My husband will do something (like not respond to something I've said) and I'll comment on that. He'll say, "What you said didn't need a response - I heard you," or "It wasn't a question."

I NEVER do that to him. I'll nod my head, or say, "mm-hmm," or at least something. But do you think I ever remember to show him how it feels? Nope. This has been going on for over 30 years!!

If I had a nickel for all the smart responses (to specific people) I've thought of after the fact, I'd be a rich woman. But no. Not holding my breath, either.

Debbie
...fibromyalgia, hashimoto's thyroiditis, hearing loss, elevated liver enzymes, skin grafting (back), arthritis, scoliosis, lumbar disc damage, sciatica, IBS, migraines, tachycardia, cancer surgeries (face).......daily Nortriptyline, Levothyroxine, & Clonopin, and Tramadol and Midrin as needed
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