Relationships and Fibro

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ashphobiax
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 2/6/2010 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   
last night i was having a break down about my fibro, i've been having a horrible week. (fell over, 3rd degree burn on my arm, i was in the er for fibro pain) and by the end of the week i was spent, not telling anyone i began to act out becoming angry irritated and annoyed by everything, but the person i decided to explode on was my boyfriend. after things were said, in a very angry way he told me "you dont put yourself in other people shoes, you dont realize how you act towards them with this anger, you have fibro and you expect everyone to understand how you are instead of you understanding how you act towards people" after this i was even more upset and bothered and was wondering if anyone deals with the same problems with there fibro and boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband.
 
my boyfriend isn't one to take crap from anyone or me, he's the type to just not care about the whining and hissy fits. which is something i need, we have been friends longer then we have been together and he cares greatly about me, but i just feel like the awful person for acting out.
 
am i in the wrong? how do you feel as though i should deal with this? 
 
 


depression/anxiety/fibromyalgia - 2000
diagnosed - 2008

medicine - none.
 
"in my eyes, if you standing there facing a pitbull its better to stay where you are instead of running away, at least it wont have the chance to bite you in the butt, so dont run from your problems, face them." - House MD

Post Edited (ashphobiax) : 2/6/2010 10:13:04 AM (GMT-7)


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 2/6/2010 9:44 AM (GMT -7)   
I have moment where I take things out on my hubby. It happens. What you do is you apologize and then sit down and talk about what you are feeling. That's what always works with my hubby and I. I hope things go ok. Keep us posted.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/6/2010 9:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry you had such a bad week. I can't say that I have anger issues or even mood swings since I don't have any hormones left. I use to snap when the hormones were raging though and sometimes couldn't stand to be around myself. Could that be part of your problem???
 
If I'm in really horrible pain I can be a little testy but come on even man's best friend can turn on their owners when in enough pain. smilewinkgrin
 
When I'm feeling bad I want TLC from my DH. A soft hug or him asking me what he can do to make me feel better does make me feel better.
 
I don't expect anyone to understand what fibro feels like cause I know I would have never understood it before I got it.
 
You might want to try journaling and writing your feelings down instead of taking it out on the person that is there for you.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
 
Vit D/calcium


ashphobiax
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 2/6/2010 10:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Marlee2 said...
I'm sorry you had such a bad week. I can't say that I have anger issues or even mood swings since I don't have any hormones left. I use to snap when the hormones were raging though and sometimes couldn't stand to be around myself. Could that be part of your problem???
 
If I'm in really horrible pain I can be a little testy but come on even man's best friend can turn on their owners when in enough pain. smilewinkgrin
 
When I'm feeling bad I want TLC from my DH. A soft hug or him asking me what he can do to make me feel better does make me feel better.
 
I don't expect anyone to understand what fibro feels like cause I know I would have never understood it before I got it.
 
You might want to try journaling and writing your feelings down instead of taking it out on the person that is there for you.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee

 

 

thank you marlee!

i have been trying to come on here more often and talking about whats on my mind, because i know everyone on here understand and will help me.

i do believe it's hormones as well, im only 21 so im still raging with who knows what. i decided to be put back on medicine after not being on any since nov 09 i think it will help me, and beings on BC isn't helping with the hormones. I have a doctors appt with a new doctor on 2/26 so i hope it all works out for the better :D


depression/anxiety/fibromyalgia - 2000
diagnosed - 2008

medicine - none.
 
"in my eyes, if you standing there facing a pitbull its better to stay where you are instead of running away, at least it wont have the chance to bite you in the butt, so dont run from your problems, face them." - House MD


MsBunky
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 2/6/2010 10:44 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry you've had such a rough week. Pain can make us act out when it becomes too much to handle, but it sounds like your explosions of anger might be happening a bit more than you realize.

Have you ever made an appointment to speak with a psycologist or counsellor who has experience with CP? I have one on my pain management team and she's great. She's helped me find better ways of dealing with anger, frustration, etc. so I'm not taking it out on loved ones. Now, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm able to more clearly ask for what I need (a hug, or being left alone, or a chance to vent, etc.). I didn't realize that when I was getting angry, it was because I felt helpless...but by having the tools to ask for what I need, it's made a huge change for me.

I hope you feel better soon, and I think it's great that you've decided to go on some pain meds, to help you. It's not something to be ashamed about...with Fibro and other chronic pain, you do what you have to, in order to manage.

Good luck!
Pam
Conditions: Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pelvic Pain, FAI, Reynauds, IBS, Surgical Adhesions, Ophthalmic Migraines
(plus physically unable to vomit due to Nissen, and I have extremely tiny veins...a joy for blood work or IV's)
Surgeries: Appendix, Uterus, Nissen Fundoplication for GERD, Left Ovary, Gallbladder, Right Ovary, TVT
Medications: Oxycontin, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Nortriptyline
Other: Vitamin D, Multi-Vitamin


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17096
   Posted 2/6/2010 11:16 AM (GMT -7)   
You have gotten some wonderful advice from our members.  But, I just want to reiterate, people really can't understand this illness and the more you try to get them to understand, the more frustrated you will be.  So, just take it a day at a time and enjoy what you can do and enjoy your boyfriend.
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

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