I think I'm going to hand in my resignation tomorrow ....

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do-over
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 2/14/2010 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been struggling with juggling family and work since 11/5, which is when I had to go to work full time for the first time since I have been a mom.  I have had part time and consulting jobs off and on throughout the past 14 years, but never was away from home form 7-5 five days a week, 35 miles from home.  My boys' grades have fallen, they have missed necessary appointments, and they are not handling the 'freedom' that comes from a mom being gone all the time very responsibly.  My fibro is worse than it has been in 3 years, I've had to start anti-depressants, I'm exhausted by 7 every evening, and my job is SOOOOOOO strenuous!  My mom is having a colonoscopy this week .. which makes me nervous because she has a hx of uterine cancer and one of the things they told us could happen from the radiation was colon cancer ... she's been having symptoms for a while and 'neglected' to deal with them.  She helps get my youngest on the bus in the mornings, and isn't sure she's going to be able to help with the kids anymore.  (Boy was that hard for her to admit!)  The house is a mess, I am a mess, my marriage is a mess, my kids are struggling, I'm worried about my family's health, and when I take into consideration that I have to pay $100 a week for gas & $50 a week for childcare, I'm only actually contributing $125 a week to our family finances.  So .. I'm busting my buns for $25 a day?!?!? 
 
I love the place where I work, I love the children I care for, and I HATE to be a quitter, but dang it ... I have given it all I can for the 90 probation period, and I think that when I get called into the director's office for a review tomorrow, I am going to tell her that as much as I appreciate the opportunity and support their program, it's just not a good fit for me or my family right now. 
 
I am really anxious about the conversation, and terrified about finances, but I just honestly think this is the best thing for my family right now.  I know my boss will be upset .. and I HATE confrontation!!!!  She's very sweet and nice and suportive, but there is nothing she can do to make this work right now .. and I just hate to let her down.  Then there's the part of saying good bye to parents and kids, and to my assistant.  UGH ... it's hard to leave a position like this ... but I'm giving 2 weeks notice. 
 
Not sure what the future holds, but I DO know that I'm excited about it ....
 
wish me luck!  my belly hurts just thinking about the talk, but I'm eager to move on .... I really did try my hardest .... and it just didn't work out. 

Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/14/2010 4:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Do-over, you are doing what you think is right for you and your family so don't feel bad about that decision. I would be a little nervous too about telling your boss, I don't handle those things well either but........you can always find another job down the road but you can never raise your family during these years again. After my boys were all in school all day I worked temp jobs so I could take summers and Christmas breaks off to be home with them. Maybe you could look into working from home doing something part time. You could watch one child a week and make what you are bringing home now.
 
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks or you will have yourself in a flare or I should say a worse flare. I'll be happy to read how it went.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
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daisyj
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 2/14/2010 4:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Its great that you have made this decision. Good luck and remember that you have to do whats best for you.
 
Also, think of how many people are out of work... you will be giving someone else a job and helping your family by being home. Its a win win situation!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 2/14/2010 6:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I am on a leave of absence. Until April or May anyway. I just couldn't continue to work with my fibromyalgia during the winter months. I miss my job though and can't wait to go back. Well actually I can't wait until spring, who knows what I will want to do then.

Could you try part time again if you wanted, or take a leave of absence if you aren't really sure what you want to do? Either way, go with your gut feelings, as posted above, it is actually a win, win situation. Atleast you will be home and happy.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 2/14/2010 6:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Do-over, you are doing what you feel is right for you and your family. Family comes before work. If you want to work because you are worried about finances, then try finding a part-time job closer to home. You need to take care of yourself and your health so you can take care of your family. I have a hard time with confrontation as well, but take comfort in the fact that you are doing what you feel is right for the well-being of yourself and your family. Those kids of your obviously need you at home. They need their momma. I know you worry about finances. Believe me, with my husband unemployed at the moment and me unable to work, I worry about finances everyday. Just take care of yourself and your family and take things one day at a time. Let us know how things go. Good luck. *soft hugs*
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


do-over
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 2/14/2010 6:49 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks everybody. i'm following my instincts here, and counting on things working themselves out.

my best friend called tonight and said the sweetest thing, she said that she understands that i hate the confrontation part, but that what really stings is saying goodbye to the children .... and she was right. i AM going to miss them!!!! she said that i needed to remember that any time they got to spend with someone who loves them as much as i do is a good thing ... even if it was only for 3 months. that was exactly what i needed to hear.

i am so excited about being a full time mom again!!!! now, how will i make it through the next 2 weeks?!?! it will be awkward .... but it will (hopefully) go by quickly.

do-over
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 2/15/2010 6:43 PM (GMT -7)   

well, i did it.  handed in my resignation.  it didn't go very well ... boss said she was 'very disappointed in my decision' ... but it could have been worse. 

this may well be the LONGEST two weeks ever .... but I feel even more like it was the right thing to do now. 

 

 


willowsgrandma
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 78
   Posted 2/15/2010 6:54 PM (GMT -7)   
do-over, good for you! i was lucky-when my kids were really small i stayed home and wouldn't take anything for that time. don't let your boss put you on a guilt trip. you are doing what you feel is right, that's what counts. the next 2 weeks will fly by. good luck and take care. Donna

Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 2/15/2010 11:10 PM (GMT -7)   
You did the right thing in my opinion. You only get one chance to raise your children. Plus keeping your marriage in tack is at the top of your list since when the kids are gone it's just the two of you and you sure best love being together. Money is nothing more than time and you have chosen to give your time to your family. I applaud your decision and courage.

Chutz
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."

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(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
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Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/16/2010 8:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Of course she isn't happy, she has to go through finding someone to fill your position. I'm glad that is over for you. Don't let anyone make the next two weeks miserable for you, you are doing the right thing.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
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SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 2/16/2010 8:35 AM (GMT -7)   
It seems to me like your boss said what she said because she values you as an employee and doesn't want to see you go. You should see it as a compliment in a way. During the next two weeks, just have fun with the children and do what you normally do. Try not to think that the next two weeks will go slowly. I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted on how things are going.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 2/16/2010 9:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Do-over,

You did what was right for you, so please don't feel guilty about it. You will be glad that you made this decision. I took a leave of absence off of work for the winter, I do miss it, but I am so glad to be home and not have to contend with the weather. I will go back in the spring though and I am happy for that. Maybe, my husband doesn't really want me to work, I can tell. But it made me feel good about myself. I don't have children at home though like you do. And as was posted above, you only get once chance to be with them when they are little. Who knows you might find a stay at home job in the future when you are ready.

I hope that the next two weeks goes by well. And I do think your boss values you as an employee also.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17094
   Posted 2/16/2010 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   
I used to teach and I loved it but then I had my first child...actually, today is her birthday.  Anyway, I tried to teach one more year because I had a loan out under my name.  I ended up quitting.  That was difficult because I knew it was the end of my career, but it was the best thing I could do!  I ended up with three children and was home to raise them and they are all wonderful adults now. 
 
Money was a huge problem, too.  We really didn't have the money for me to do that because my husband was a teacher, too.  This was back when teachers made practically nothing.  He was in his eighth year teaching math, physical science, and computer science and was making a whopping $11,000 a year!  We had house payments, car payments, etc.  Two weeks after I quit, he found a job in data processing and that was the very best thing!  He built a wonderful career but he would never have left teaching if I hadn't stepped down. 
 
So, things really do work out for the best.  You made the right decision for yourself and your family and you will enjoy your new life as a stay at home Mom and a loving wife.  Your children are blessed that you can do this, too. 
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
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Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
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God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 2/16/2010 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I have to agree with the others in that you did what was right for you, no looking back just keep moving forward...I have been a stay at home mom for 18 years just because of that, also if I apply for a job it'll work against us in getting our daughter her scholarship money...Way to go and lots of soft hugz, what you did took guts as well...now you just have to get your boys to get their grades back up..
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Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 2/16/2010 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   
My DH was in the army and he worked a part time job for years to allow me to stay home and raise the boys, not that the boys didn't need their dad too but he probably made more working the part time jobs than I would have after paying for daycare.
 
Don't think waiting til they are in their teens to go to work is a good idea, teens need more supervision than the little ones do. I did go to college when mine were teens but I left after they did and was home before they were.
 
Don't get me wrong being a stay at home mom is not for everyone.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
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jamies.mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 2/19/2010 8:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree with the other posts that this is a wonderful thign to do, even if it doesn't feel like it at first. I am ou tof work, got fired for being forgetful, but it was wonderful to be home for the last 6 months with my girls. I am so sleepy all the time that I really don't know how I would cope if I were still working! It was a blessing in disguise for me to get fired! Unfortunatley we are too poor for me to stay home indefinately, but I am starting a small business from home and will not have to put in 8 hour days. I will schedule my work for weekends when hubby is ome with the girls, and will probably schedule an evening or two a week. I think I will end up making as much as when I was working 40 hours a week, but with half the work/stress. I can't wait to get started, may 1st is our launch date. It took a lot of tears and depression to get to this point, but when faced with challenges, we can either sink or swim. Since I couldn't face sinking, i decided to swim! No matter what happens, I know you will find a way to manage! Just wait for the right answer to find you!
fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel, restless legs, polycystic ovarian syndrome.

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