I also have a hard time asking for help. I don't like to admit that I need help to begin with and then to "burden" someone else with what I want or need to me seems to be asking to much of them. I am the type of person that I will bend over backwards to help someone else. If there is one thing that I have learned in the last couple of months it is that I cannot do everything. I would not expect someone else to do everything so why do I expect myself to do everything. I have had to realize that I have limitations and I am not invicible like I would like to be. I have to listen to the limitations of my body(including spiritual and emotional limitations) and take action to still get things taken care of. Many times that takes asking for help. This is a very difficult endeaver and proves to be a difficult journey to get there. I still find myself trying to do everything by myself. However I also know that if I continue this direction eventually nothing is going to get done at all because no one is a mind reader and they can't know what I need if I don't ask for help.
Take care of yourself because if you don't then you can't do what you like (help others) and you are the only one that can truely take care of you.
Post Edited (TressiaN) : 2/18/2010 1:15:22 AM (GMT-7)
((((Caligirl))))) I feel your pain! I dont have any advise for you really.
My husband will NOT help out around the house at all and I dont have kids there to mess things up but my husband makes a big enough mess for 4 or 5 kids. I cant deligate the chores... its just me. I do all the cleaning. I have begged him for help and NOTHING. (Ok calming down those resentment issues)
Anyhow, I told him that if someone comes to the door, I refuse to let them in. If the house catches on fire, oh well, firemen are not coming in and seeing that mess and if he passes out. I will drag him out on the porch for the EMS to pick up. I am sick and tired of NO help.
I have decided to take care of MY stuff and put my things away let him wallow in his own mess. He doesnt know it yet, but I am moving into spare bedroom this weekend because I cannot stand the smell of his diry clothes lying around on the floor. He refuses to put them in the laundry hamper and I am NOT picking them up any more. My next move will be out of the house.
Marriage should be a 50/50 deal and if one is sick and not able to do something, they shouldnt be made fun of. When he hurt his shoulder, I helped him, but when I have a flare up, he says well, the housework will wait until you feel better.
I am sorry ... I am just so angry and depressed.