I am stuck in this dilapidated pile of sticks that I did not want but husband just HAD to have so he could “fix it up”. Yeah right! He has done NOTHING in the 7 years we have lived there except complain about the fact that so much needs to be done to the place.
Anyhow, a bigger problem, I fear that I have fallen out of love with him. I hate living in that house, he is critical and verbally insulting and he is a slob! It is getting to the point that I get sick to my stomach when I know its time for him to come home. I am trying to make every effort to work things out but I am just getting more and more resentful because I don’t feel he is trying. Any extra money we get he wants to spend on new tools or the barn and now he wants to build this huge shop and buy a new truck. Meanwhile our house is falling down.
He used to be a neat, clean person but now he has gotten to where he doesn’t take as many baths anymore and he leaves his stinking clothes in the floor. (AND THEY STINK BAD!!!) He starts shedding when he comes in the door and he reminds me of pigpen off of Charlie Brown. (There are tools, shoes, and clothes all through the house) I like things neat but because of my health, I am not able to clean up after him like I used to. Not only that, but I am terrible allergic to dogs and he will go play with the dogs at the barn and then come in and I end up having to use my inhaler to breathe. I have even had to go to the hospital; the reaction has been so bad. He told me that if one of us had to go, he was keeping the dog so I might as well find some medication to treat the allergy.
I want out but I have no place to go. I feel trapped! I feel this nasty, moldy, dusty, dog hair infested house is making me sick! I need a safe place to go. I am so down and upset today. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.