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Chutz
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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 3/27/2010 9:51 PM (GMT -7)   
One thing that I find I sure need help with is clutter! When hubby and grandson come home they set something down on the kitchen bar and there it stays. Of course I never do that...OK, I'm just as guilty as they are. But we've gotten into a habit of "I'll put it away later". I've tried the basket for things that are theirs but it doesn't really work because many of the items are too large. Hubby hauls in the groceries from Costco and sits them somewhere in the kitchen but many of the boxes are way too large for me to handle comfortably. So currently on the bar are a case of napkins, one of chili, one of tomato soup, 1 newspaper, a few assorted tools, a stack of books for the library, and some other miscellaneous items. How can I or others handle this problem??? Having a house that's cluttered is mentally harder on me than most anything. Do you have good ways to handle clutter in your house? Please share how you keep things organized and avoid this problem with spouses, kids or even yourself? tongue

Chutz smilewinkgrin
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."

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(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
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vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 3/28/2010 5:24 AM (GMT -7)   

Oh Chutz...you know my husband is the King of Clutter.  You would not believe the catalogs that come here every single day.  He thinks if he stacks them neatly on any flat surface, they are not an eye sore.  I have purchased three different mail 'containers', yet it still gets stacked on the dining room table.  Oh...and why does he refuse to throw away an empty cereal box or spice tin...he sets it on the counter NEXT to the trash can.  This is because he wants me to see it and know that we are out of this particular item.  OMG. 

My solution?  I open the basement door and chuck the stuff down the stairs...yes I do.  I am so over the need to save catalogs and magazines.  I have also started to use them to start fires in the wood stove.  He LOVES it when I do that.  Just for the sake of this post, I counted the seed catalogs stacked by the bed.  41.  Our so called garden is about 12 feet by 14 feet.  Last year nothing grew but one zucchini and maybe a half dozen tomatoes.  Oh, don't get me started.  I plan to look at the seed catalogs for one more week, then down the stairs they go.  I am a psycho fibromite.

 

Huggies

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: valium Advil


crazykitty
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Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 3/28/2010 8:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Clutter drives me crazy too. I don't like to look at it and will toss magazines soon as
they are read. We had an old bookcase that I painted and I was able to find baskets
that fit the shelves perfectly. All the "stuff" my husband wants to save is kept in that
bookcase and I don't have to look at it. He is good at putting his "stuff in there or he
knows it might disappear. Chutzie...hope you can get your guys trained!
 
Donna, "pyscho fibromite" sounds like a crazy movie, Maybe "Norah Fairchild" can
star in it. smilewinkgrin  Wish we had a basement. They are rare where we live.
 
Hugs, Robin

Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 3/28/2010 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh dear Chutzie, you may have opened a can of worms here today that you will regret opening when it comes to clutter. My DH is the king of clutter and I could sit here all day and complain about this man's clutter. I have told him many times that he is the only  person I know that spent 20 yrs in the army and didn't come out with NOT ONE organizational skill. He drives me crazy, I think that is what he is trying to do so he can have me put away somewhere.
 
Let's start with what is suppose to be a two car garage, that I can squeeze my car into and that is all, cause of his clutter. If we go somewhere in the car together he has to back the car out so I can get in my side. devil I use to always be the one that cleaned the garage, not the natural order of things in my book but if I left it up to him it never got done and it hasn't since I can no longer do it. When I was able to clean it I would start with asking nicely for awhile and then start threatening and when that didn't work I would make the trash men very happy with me when I would start filling trash cans with whatever was in there that I didn't know what it was for. I am threatening to do it again if this crap isn't moved out of my garage when the weather gets nice and so far he is calling my bluff cause he doesn't think I am physically able to do it again. I have two boys across the street that love making extra money and they are quite capable to haul out anything I tell them to in there that does not belong in MY garage. The Christmas decor has been hit several times by the car cause he hasn't gotten it put in the attic, the stairs are in the garage right by where the decor is. If my ceremics are broken someone will pay. In his behalf, there is an antique pie chest in there that one son left for his brother to pick up and it was suppose to be there for two weeks, that has been two years ago.
 
I won't even get on the topic of his office cause I haven't cleaned it since we moved here almost five years ago and neither has he but I don't care cause I just keep the door shut and don't look in there.
 
PAPER skull Since there is no room in his office to work anymore we have started working on the coffee table in the family room. Gotta spread it around you know, have a wife to drive crazy. devil Can't just sit there and work and take it back to the office, no we have to spread it all out and leave it there for days so he knows just where it is. If he is missing something he immediately ask me where it is, I don't touch the stuff, how am I suppose to know??? If he ask me one more time where his checkbook is, I don't use his checkbook, it might be the last straw.
 
Kitchen table and counters, okay I'm guilty here, it is the center of the house and where I end up putting everything til I'm going to one of the rooms where it belongs. I do have a small basket I use to pick up small stuff in and then go from room to room when it gets full and put everything away. Some days just getting it picked up and put in the basket and get the basket to the kitchen is all I have left in me. When the counters start getting bad I do take the time and put everything away so I DO clean up my clutter. Dining table, we use it only a few times a year and it makes a great project table and right now is still full of my photo gallery project that I was working on. It's also a great place to fold clothes on cause it is close to the utility room.
 
What was the original question Chutzie??? turn
 
I don't know why but venting about DH did make me feel better so I guess that was the purpose of this thread.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
 
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vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 3/28/2010 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   

Marlee...I believe we are married to the same man.  I haven't looked in my hubby's office in six years and never will.  The handles on the recycle trash can broke off from my last midnight trip to the road with ten tons of catalogs.  My husband has never broken my ribs, however.devil  But still...the similarity is eerie and who would believe there are two such men on this planet of ours?  Hmmmm?

Huggies

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: valium Advil


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 3/28/2010 9:15 AM (GMT -7)   
And WHY do men need folders of unused graph paper from high school....and that was back in the 60's??? And another of colored paper, labeled and in the over-stuffed file cabinet????? I don't dare throw any of his 'memories' out. One time I infringed on his memories without my knowing it and it was nearly 3 days before he was able to speak to me. The infringement??? I cleaned and waxed a tiny kitchen floor in his mobile home before we were married. It needed it!

And we women get the blame for keeping things??!!? I don't think so!!

Chutzie <heaving sigh>

Oh, and boxes that things came in? I can see if there's a good reason like to store it in when not in use. The postal scales or boxes of envelopes...but boxes that tools came in and the tools are in his tool box? OK, now I'm getting started...sheesh! rolleyes
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."

(\_/)
(o.o)
(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 3/28/2010 9:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Unfortunately, my house is really cluttered. Our problem is that we have too much stuff for such a little space. Soon we are going to do some Spring cleaning. We are going to downsize. We're going to get rid of the stuff we never use or don't wear or anything like that, and we are going to try to then organize the stuff that is left. But, I don't have any real advice for this...Sorry. We have too much clutter ourselves, and it drives me crazy!
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 3/28/2010 9:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Chutzie...you have really got me going.  Graph paper?  How about a box of old protractors and who in hell even uses them anymore?  How about SAT prep books from 1963 for biology and algebra?  A drawer half full of those thingys for calculating logarithms...they look like a ruler.  Or a biology test tube kit from when he was in prep school in 1961.  I used the little brush that came in it to get some schmutz out of the bottom of a baby bottle and he about popped an artery.
 
What on earth is wrong with them???  Oh, I can't come back to this post.  I might get so upset I will be tempted to pitch the three computer monitors from the late 80's out the window.  THAT would put me into a killer fibro back spasm.  But...it does feel wonderful to vent...LOL!
 
Donna
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: valium Advil


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17101
   Posted 3/28/2010 11:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, my dear, departed hubby saved all the teeth that fell out of my three children's mouth!  He wrapped each one in Saran and then foil and labled whose tooth it was and the date it fell out of their mouth.  I still have them and now can't throw them out because that was so important to him. 
 
We won't talk about the stuff he dug up in his backyard as a little boy that he saved.  He never got rid of a book and still kept paper for our old dot matrix printer...even though we got rid of it and bought a laser printer.  Yes, I do know what you all are going through...and I wish I still was.
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 3/28/2010 11:44 AM (GMT -7)   
A box of rocks anyone??? Oh not to throw at them, well I will think about that, but he has a box of rocks that belonged to his dad and they are keepsakes even though he has no idea where they came from. Receipts for cattle??? We have some of those too that was his dad's so they are keepsakes. Never been able to sneak that stuff out and throw it away but I have been missing a couple of boxes of my children's toys and stuff from when they were babies that have somehow gotten thrown away or lost in the many moves that would mean something to my children.
 
I have been cleaning and packing up stuff to get rid of now for months, a little at a time. One corner of the dining room is full of bags and tubs that need to be taken out as is the back of the mud room to the point you can barely get to the coats hung up on hooks in there. I was sick all last week and still don't feel very good so I got way behind on what needs to be done before this coming weekend plus I have a cleaning lady coming Wed afternoon to do what I can't. I have been very nice all weekend about him making room in the before talked about garage to put the stuff til I figure out what I am going to do with. I understand he needs to rest on the weekends and very rarely ask him to do something then. Yesterday he went in office to do some work, bet he was playing poker on the computer instead. He got up at 9:30 this morning and has been watching movies on TV since. Right now he is watching Superman, he says he has never seen this one. I have cleaned off the dining table since I last wrote on here and caught up on the laundry that I was behind on. I took a hot shower and I quit for the day. However if you see a bright light over central Illinois it will be the explosion from this stuff sitting here when I get up in the morning. I get up very early before daylight due to the P word so you will be able to see it well. devil
 
There are two 20 lb weights laying in the floor of the family room that he uses for his arms, trying to salvage a little muscle, and the next time I stub a toe on one of them he better be able to fly like Superman. I'm done now, boy that felt good and cleansing, Thanks Chutzie.smilewinkgrin
 
That's what we need on here is just to get it all out of us so our muscles can relax and help the pain, that was better than a xanax.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium, Osteoarthritis and Celiac
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches, Carafate and Prilosec
 
Vit D/calcium


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 3/28/2010 12:50 PM (GMT -7)   

I forgot!  We have a boat motor clamped to a saw horse in our garage and we don't have a boat!  Under it is a box of 'cleats' that go on a dock that we don't have to tie up the invisible boat.  And....two water ski ropes that go with the boat and water skis we don't have.

AHHH...this feels good.

 

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: valium Advil


Nana Monster
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 952
   Posted 3/28/2010 1:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Geez, can I comiserate. My man is the king of lazy. When you empty anything in the house the wrapper, box or whatever goes
either on the stove or in the sink. You put a gallon of shock in the pool, where does the empty bottle go? In the yard. If you have
weed wacker string that don't work, where does it go? In the yard. The box to the 42" TV we won? In the yard. The toilet bowl
that had to be replaced? In the yard. My son and his girlfriend and my grandson were here helping me last night to sort some of
the stuff out and guess what he is getting me for my birthday???? A dumpster to put all the crap in and have it hauled away.
I LOVE my son.

Irish Babe
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1371
   Posted 3/28/2010 1:27 PM (GMT -7)   
I spent a whole day a few wks back cleaning off our kitchen counter. Then my DH went back into the hospital, I will blame it on that! My counter is just swamped w/ stuff. I had to make calls and I write down everything that is said. These were calls re: my DM and all of her stuff and then calls re: my DH and all of his stuff. I kept them in nice separate piles. Then I had to run over to DH in the heart hospital and spent the day there w/ him. Come home to make dinner and go visit my DM in the nursing home (in town - thankfully) then come home and take a shower and drop.
 
My children came home from work, ate and back out to visit w/ friends. In the mean time, they were dropping their things off on the counter. I know the counter is under all that mess, just don't have the energy to find it. shakehead
 
Yrs back, a friend of my DH's was moving from NJ to WA and he wanted to 'share' his stuff w/ DH. He gave him a VW Bug (it didn't work), a boat w/ trailer (it didn't work) and a snow blower (you guessed it - IT didn't work). My yd isn't that big and this stuff was so ugly. He kept promising to fix them or find them a new home, but his friend would be so hurt if he just got rid of the stuff. That was my first concern - NOT.  devil  I put a sign on the corner and we had ppl come and they carted this stuff away. I then put in some beautiful flower beds, vast improvement.  This friend just didn't want to pay to have this junk hauled away, so much easier to dump it on us.
 
I spent much of January throwing out crap that we had collected  over 30 yrs. It was such a good feeling. I am extremely sentimental, my DH, not so much. There are some items that certain ppl have given him that he keeps and I have no prob w/ that, but sometimes, it is just the mindless things I can't handle.
 
A couple of yrs ago, my younger son told me he wanted to buy a kayak and gear for his father. I told him that was a lovely idea, but Dad really wasn't up to lugging this thing around, we had no trailer (see above - that went yrs ago) and DH doesn't have the energy to row that thing. Well, my DS knows better! I now have a kayak and all the gear out in my shed and that thing is packed to the gills. My DH used it once w/ me lugging the other end. Never again!
 
Oh Chutz.  Now I want to get that stupid shed cleaned out, and I don't even have the energy for the kitchen counter.
 
God bless.  Alice.

Acheybody
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5929
   Posted 3/28/2010 2:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I got a good chuckle from reading all your posts!  My husband is not the sentimental type with stuff, in general, but he doesn't see stuff that needs to be done.  A defunct old computer on an endtable for months doesn't faze him, but an open cupboard door will....
 
Aside from other people, though, I think my biggest problem with clutter is our good friend, the fog.  sad  I start to file one kind of paper somewhere, but something else has to be moved before I can get to that cabinet, and if I do it myself, I'll pay for it tonight, so I wait for someone else to come home and in the meantime I get going on another project, where I run into the same problem, and then I forget what I was doing a minute ago, and .... then the cat wants to get on my lap, and .... at the end of the day the house looks worse than when I started.  I bet you can all understand!  
 
 
Debbie
 
Diagnosed: Fibromyalgia, Meniere's, mild liver damage, keloid scar tissue (from burn) on back, arthritis, lumbar disc damage, IBS, migraine, herpes
 
Meds: Nortriptyline, Clonazepam,  Effexor, Darvocet as needed
multivitamins, l-lysine, probiotics, magnesium, calcium + vit. D, vit. C
 
Chiropractic adjustments


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 3/28/2010 3:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I want a kayak! haha

hmmm - have you thought about auditioning him for the show "Hoarders"?

We used to have a lost and found. When people left stuff lying around, I would throw it in the lost and found. They could do the same to me. Dirty shoes went right on top of delicate sweaters and lost homework. No one ever learned to put their stuff away, they just looked for everything in the lost and found. However, the clutter was kept to a minimum. Now it is just me and hubby and he keeps his messes confined to his man room and his tool barn. The two combined are nearly as big as our house (maybe bigger) and you cannot walk in the tool barn. But at least my house, itself, is clean.

Sue

Nana Monster
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 952
   Posted 3/28/2010 6:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't have a kayak but I do have 17' fiberglass canoe that he never bothered to fix either sitting in, you guessed it, the yard.
I went so far as to but 3 exactly alike trash cans and had the audacity to LABEL them "trash", "recycle" and "soda" and where
did everything still end up....yep, on the stove or in the sink. Go figure. My yard also boasts of 4 dead vehicles and assorted
bicycles. I could make redneck TV without even trying.

RedDiane
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 906
   Posted 3/28/2010 7:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I seem to be a lot of the problem around here. But I figured something out the other day. If I put something away every time I used it, it would take a couple of minutes. BUT, those couple of minutes times 30 or 40 things I use every day adds up to more than an hour and I don't have an extra hour of energy any day. This is my best excuse ever.
Fibromyalgia since 1984, Sjogren's, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Auto-immune eczema, GERD, osteoarthritis, IBS, RLS, sleep apnea

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