Coping with being overweight...

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SassyMyKitty
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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 4/5/2010 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
I've been having a really hard time with the weight I have gained. I am over 30 lbs overweight, and it is driving me crazy. When I was in my senior year of high school, I was anorexic. I was down to 78lbs. I have always struggled with my self-image. But now that I am so much overweight, part of me just wants to fall back into the anorexia. I don't know what to do. I am struggling really hard. This is so hard on me. I don't know what to do.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


crazykitty
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Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 4/5/2010 7:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sassy, Is any of your weight gain due to meds? There are meds that cause weight gain.
Sassy you can't let yourself go back to being anorexic, you need all your strength to deal
with everything you have on your plate now. I would talk to your doctor and maybe you could
work with a dietician to get your weight down in a healthy way. I know you have had a rough
time lately and I'm so sorry. Please give your doctor a call and get in to see him ASAP.

Hugs, Robin
Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
Folic Acid.  OTC Meds: Multi-vitamin. Vit, D, Vitamin B12 & calciim supplements
 
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 4/5/2010 8:01 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with Robin, see your doctor. There might be something that you could take to help you with your weight. I struggle with the same thing. I recently did a med change and also started on a water pill for my blood pressure. I have lost a few pounds from that. But my weight changes so frequently. I lose a couple, gain a couple back. It is really frustrating. I think with fibro, we aren't able to be as active as we once were and it really effects our weight. But also getting older, I am. So that could be playing a huge roll in that. I walk daily, eat right (usually,lol) and try to exercise, to no avail... I am also very frustrated with my weight. But I try not to let it get me down. I hope that you find a way to lose. When you do, fill us all in on that.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


SassyMyKitty
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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 4/5/2010 8:34 AM (GMT -7)   
The thing about anorexia is that it can come up suddenly. Once you suffer from it once, it is always going to be there. Most of the time it is in the back of my mind and I can ignore it. But, right now, I am struggling really hard with it. It's so hard to deal with a low self-image. A lot of people tell me I look great, but I feel like they are lying. I am over 30 lbs overweight. I don't think it is my meds, though I suppose it could be part of it. Last month I was so excited because I had lost 9 lbs. But I haven't lost any more weight since. It is hard for me to exercise. It really is. I try to walk when it is nice out, but I live upstairs, so most of the time, going up and down the stairs is about all the exercise I can handle. I am just trying to deal with this. I really appreciate all the support I find on here. It means a lot to me that I can come here when I am going through a rough time.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


Butterfly4
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 4/5/2010 9:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Weight has been a struggle of mine also, before this bout of illness, and since.  In my early 20's I suffered a major depression, and went from a once athletic young woman to a very sedentary and over weight one.  In high school, I too, suffered from Anorexia which was a result of a trauma.  I hadn't been concerned at that time with my body image because I was very fit.  Starving was something I could control, when I couldn't control anything else.
 
Since getting sick over the last year and a half, I now weigh 100 pounds less than I did 4 years ago.  I lost 60 pounds the healthy way before this current illness had any hand in it.  Anorexia resulted first from my loss of appetite, and has now become a way to deal with my frustration over the illness as well.  Bottom line, I know it isn't healthy. 
 
Being ill is difficult enough without having to look in the mirror.  When my weight began to drop rapidly, I got caught up in the compliments I received, but also found that I was having difficulty recognizing all aspects of the person I saw myself becoming.  Anorexia is not the answer.
 
I have now been making a very concious effort to keep only healthy food in my home at all times, and even when I really don't feel like it, I get out for a walk.  Even if you do all the right things, and your weight issue persists, I promise that you will still find a sense of relief and self-satisfaction in knowing that you are doing the right things.
 
Take care of yourself.

31 year old female
 
Chronic pain, GI inflammation, Asthma, catracts, Depression, chest pain, frequent fevers, vomiting, weight loss, insomnia, the list goes on.  16 months into this, I still have no official diagnosis.
 
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Ghandi


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 4/5/2010 9:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Butterfly, it is nice to know that there is someone else here who has suffered from anorexia. Dealing with being overweight after being so small most of my life is such a heart breaker to me. It is hard to look in the mirror. Unless I am fully dressed, I cannot look in a mirror that shows anything below my neck. You are right about anorexia being a control thing. When I went through it in high school, I had a lot going on. I felt like I had no control over anything. I felt like I was ugly and fat, even though I was only about 105lbs at that time. I ended up going to a six-week intensive outpatient program. When I got down to 78lbs, they threatened to throw me in residential and shove a feeding tube down my throat. That kind of woke me up. Every two weeks, I had to have blood tests done. One time, after having my blood drawn, I fainted. My thyroid was messed up, and even though I was unhealthily skinny, I still saw myself as fat. My weight goals are not so extreme. I want to be down to 115lbs. That is a healthy weight for someone my age, build, and height. But right now, I weigh 147lbs, and it is killing me. I haven't weighed this much since I was pregnant with my baby. It is such a struggle to weigh this much. It is nice to know that you really understand, Butterfly, because you have been through this kind of thing as well.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


Butterfly4
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 4/5/2010 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes, I do understand. Anytime you want or need to talk about it, I'm here for you.

Butterfly4
31 year old female
 
Chronic pain, GI inflammation, Asthma, catracts, Depression, chest pain, frequent fevers, vomiting, weight loss, insomnia, the list goes on.  16 months into this, I still have no official diagnosis.
 
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Ghandi


SassyMyKitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 673
   Posted 4/5/2010 6:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Butterfly. I appreciate that a lot. I did eat some grilled chicken today. It was really good. But it was a huge internal battle about it.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss
 


Butterfly4
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 4/5/2010 6:55 PM (GMT -7)   
You can't win the battle unless you fight it. I'm so glad to hear that you fought today, and that you won. That's great :)

Butterfly4
31 year old female
 
Chronic pain, GI inflammation, Asthma, catracts, Depression, chest pain, frequent fevers, vomiting, weight loss, insomnia, the list goes on.  16 months into this, I still have no official diagnosis.
 
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Ghandi


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 4/5/2010 9:14 PM (GMT -7)   
My sweet Sassy,

Please do take care of yourself...partly for you and mostly for that dear Alex. I've struggled with my weight ever since I have memory of what food is all about. Since my doc had me quit working I've put on about 25# and I had taken it off many years before that. It makes me so sad and disappointed in myself but I won't give up. It's a daily battle and it does mess with your self worth. BUT, if we only think of ourselves as fit or thin, fit or fat, then we have a very shallow opinion of who we really are.

I know that you're a very tender and sweet young wife and mother. I also know that you've been through a lot of stress lately which for many of us relates directly to food. But we can get through and fight it together...OK? Take my hand (extending hand) and we'll all make it...all who care to join us.

Warm hugs!
Mom Chutzie
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein

(\_/)
(o.o)
(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 4/5/2010 10:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Sassy, I, too had anorexia.  I had it for several years (over 15) and went through 5 years of therapy and group treatment programs to fight it.  I have been "in recovery" for 3 years.  That means I eat now.  I still have some funny habits or ways of making myself eat.  For example, I take my breakfast in the car while commuting.  It is a way to distract myself so I will eat breakfast. 
 
One thing is for sure, I am much happier not obsessing all of the time about food.  I could give you the internal monologue here, but I am sure you are familiar enough with it.  With anorexia, I lost a lot of my hair (it is still growing back), my heart shrunk because of malnutrition (it is back, now), and my metabolism shut down.  That was the hardest part.  I can no longer lose weight by restricting.  My body will not allow me to lose weight.  My body still does not trust me and I have been eating for 3 years now.  In fact, when I think about going back to anorexia to lose the weight, I remember those things:  I want my hair and my heart and I do not want to gain any more weight!  My motto:  "If I don't eat, I will get fat!" 
 
Please do not go back there.  Once you head back, you will lose glucose in your brain and you will lose all ability to reason.   (fog is bad enough!!)  :)   You will eat less than 1000 calories a day and no one will be able to convince you that it is unhealthy and you are killing yourself.  Don't do that to yourself.  Fibro is hard without adding anorexia to it.  I actually had to "unfriend" a facebook person because she was eating 800 calories a day then burning it all by exercising.  I politely told her that her posts were triggering and I could not read them anymore.  She was extremely angry with my comments and insisted vehemently that there was nothing wrong with her behavior.  You do not want to go there. 
 
Little fact: My treatment nurse taught us that we need about 2000 calories a day to just lie around and do nothing.  Our bodies still have to work.  In fact, prisoners of war were put on a starvation diet of 1400 calories a day.  We need food to function.
 
Btw:  I also weigh 147 pounds.  I hate it.  But I am alive and that is good.  I am trusting that my body will finally get back on track and get me to a healthy weight.  I would like to be 135.  115 is actually too thin for me.
 
You can e-mail me anytime you like and if you want, e-mail me and I will send you the link to a blog a friend of mine from group therapy writes.  It is actually very powerful.
Gentle hugs,
Sue
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