The depression and stress, I think, are causing more foggy episodes. You can't just go to bed. That is part of why you are in so much pain. You have to move. Read some of the posts I've written. It is important to move and stretch with fibro. That, in turn, will help with your circulation and your pain.
Get some games that make you use your mind. I like to play Bridge online. You have to remember the cards that have been played. I try to do things that will help with my memory. If you have a Nintendo DS Lite, they have a game called Brain Age that is really good to help with your memory. There is a book that was written years ago by Harry Lorayne and Jerry Lucas called The Memory Book. They still sell it on Amazon. I read that years ago and still use some of the techniques. It does help.
You need to concentrate on what you are doing. With your depression and sense of hopelessness, you aren't thinking clearly and probably are letting your mind wander. This easily could have helped cause your accident.
The good news is that nothing in life is hopeless! You are just having a bad time. I do hope you will start to look at all the things you CAN do. Make a list and you will see your many blessings. At the top of your list will be your family. You are just dwelling on the negative things in your life right now. That's easy to do when you hurt but it isn't the healthy thing to do. You will get control of the pain.
I hope you have rescheduled your doctor's appointment. That is a start. Go in Fibro 101 to the link that has a journal and print it out. There are also links to pain charts. Start keeping a journal of your levels of pain and what you are doing at the time. This will be helpful to take to your doctor. He'll be able to see better what you are going through and he will try to help you get control of the pain.
You are mourning your old self. But, you can have a good life in spite of fibro. I know because I have. I have traveled overseas, snorkled, stood on a glacier, parasailed, etc. since I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Yes, I have a lot of pain but I am now in control of it and I know how to work around fibro to do the things I want to do. You will, too. You need to accept this illness and move forward with your life. You are at a standstill because you don't want to accept what is happening to you. This just makes this illness worse on you because of the stress you are putting on yourself. Curling up in bed won't do anything but make you hurt even more. It won't help you enjoy life or enjoy your children. It will only hurt you.
Please know that you have many great times ahead of you in your life. Keep trying things to see what helps you with your pain and fatigue. Concentrate when you are doing important things like driving. Start counting your many blessing and make it a point to look for the good in life. It is all around you if you will only look for it. When those negative thoughts enter your mind, kick them to the curb. They have no place in a hopeful mind! Look forward to each new day with anticipation. You know fibro waxes and wanes and tomorrow could be a really good day. If it is, wonderful! If it isn't, you know you can handle one day. You are projecting yourself in the future and no one knows what the future holds so that is a total waste of time! Just take one day at a time. That is very managable.
I do hope you will feel much better tomorrow.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7