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KellieJo
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 382
   Posted 6/26/2010 10:19 PM (GMT -7)   
My mother in law had emergency surgery, that is a mess in itself.  She had a Colonoscopy in the process there was a tear in her colon.
 
She's recovering however when we saw her next morning she has brusing under her eye and when they tried to walk her today, she kept saying her knee is popping out of place....no one can answer that. 
 
To understand her, she lies in bed 90 percent of day, so we have to push her in the hospital to do what she needs to do to keep herself healthly.  Plus we have to talk to nurses/doctors, will we are trying to figure out what happen to her, what is going medically.  The nurse said she needs to walk as much as possible too.
 
She got mad and said she doesn't need to be treated like a child.  We told her do not treat us like that we are here for you.  You don't ask questions, you just lay there.  Plus sometime something happen for the black eye and leg problem.  Honestly I walked out of the room not expecting to return until I needed to pick her up.
 
She has lived with us for 7 years, we have been at every medical problem she has and only become involved when needed.  Plus there are family members that when something happens lo and behold they know more than us, where the heck where they when she was healthy needing a driver? 
 
 
 
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40579
   Posted 6/27/2010 2:18 AM (GMT -7)   
It always seems they come out of the woodwork and try to tell you what to do, but where were they when they needed to be responsible and help. Don't let them get to you, just do what needs to be done, and hopefully they will go on their way.

You have been doing a good job taking care of your mil and don't let anybody tell you different. And yes, find out what happened to that eye and leg. She may have flallen out of bed or something.

I hope that you get this sorted out.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Libby08
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 434
   Posted 6/27/2010 4:49 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry to hear you are having this situation.  I will be praying for your whole family.  Try to keep yourself up.  Keep us posted.

Southernlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 6/27/2010 6:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry to hear about you mil.  My prayers go out for you.  My dear mil has been in the nursing home for 3 years now and similar to your situation.  She just gave up after heart surgery and wouldn't try to get out of bed because it hurt too much.  She doesn't even want to get out of bed to go to the dining room and eat.  Actually she loves someone waiting on her and at first even wanted to be fed.  We never did know what brought it on because her doctor said she didn't have a stroke or anything that would cause her not to get out of bed.  Old people used to have a saying "They just took to the bed", I think that's what happened to her.
 
I hope everything gets better for you.  Don't let it get you down.  There's a brighter day tomorrow! I hope you do find out what caused her black eye and leg problem.
 
God Bless!
Shannon
 
 
Of all the things that I have lost, I miss my mind the most!!!!


Azgram
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 58
   Posted 6/27/2010 8:02 AM (GMT -7)   

This is such a coinsidence.  My daughter's name is Kelly Jo & her mil is living with her! A 6 mo. stay has turned into over a year.  The only exercise she will do is to go up & down the stairs to go outside to smoke.  She stays up for several nights in a row, then sleeps for 3 or 4 days in a row.  She has had fibro for 20 yrs.  Because of her, I didn't believe in fibro, then paybacks!!! I got it  6 yrs. ago!  That'll teach me to be a doubter!  Good luck with you mil.  Hope she gets motivated to help herself. yeah


Acheybody
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5929
   Posted 6/27/2010 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Good luck, KellieJo. My mom did kind of the same thing - she had lung problems. Not like her at all, but she gave up.
And the relatives coming out of the woodwork to tell you what to do and how to do it? Oh, yeah! They darkened our doorstep only when it was time to pare down the possessions. Ugly, ugly. It still hurts.

I feel for you. Hope you get it all sorted out soon.
  Achey 
 
    Diagnosed: Fibromyalgia, possible Meniere's, elevated liver enzymes, skin grafting on back, arthritis, scoliosis, lumbar disc damage, sciatica, IBS, migraine headaches, tachycardia, skin cancer surgeries on face
    Meds: Nortriptyline, Clonazepam, Darvocet as needed
    Multivitamins, l-lysine, probiotics, magnesium, malic acid, calcium + vit. D, vit. C
    Chiropractic adjustments
 
Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17097
   Posted 6/27/2010 10:41 AM (GMT -7)   
KellieJo, you can only do so much.  Life is made up of choices and your MIL is making her choices.  Her knees might be giving out because they haven't been used much lately.  The saying, "If you don't use it, you lose it" is very true.  All you can do in encourage her to start moving around and assure her that she should get more energy and get stronger day by day by walking and moving. 
 
You could ask her if she wants to spend the rest of her life in bed.  No one really does.  She might be having some depression, too, so perhaps medication for that could help...or at least get her out in the sun.  That helps raise seratonin levels.  When my mom was in a nursing home, she couldn't walk but I got her outside in the sun and that helped her remain in good spirits.  If she is being really obstinate and tells you not to treat her like a child, you might suggest that she is acting like a child and needs to accept her problems and try to overcome them.  Let her know that you love her very much and just want the best for her. 
 
It is very difficult dealing with aging parents but it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job.  It's not easy.  When your relatives pop out of the woodwork telling you what to do, let them know you will be calling them when she needs to be transported next time since they are trying to be so supportive all of a sudden.  Trust me, they will disappear!
 
Sherrine 
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Acheybody
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5929
   Posted 6/27/2010 1:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Sad but True!!
  Achey 
 
    Diagnosed: Fibromyalgia, possible Meniere's, elevated liver enzymes, skin grafting on back, arthritis, scoliosis, lumbar disc damage, sciatica, IBS, migraine headaches, tachycardia, skin cancer surgeries on face
    Meds: Nortriptyline, Clonazepam, Darvocet as needed
    Multivitamins, l-lysine, probiotics, magnesium, malic acid, calcium + vit. D, vit. C
    Chiropractic adjustments
 
Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.


KellieJo
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 382
   Posted 6/27/2010 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the replies and support.
 
Yes, I have told her she is gonna loose her ability to walk it doesn't faze her.  I'm reminded we are to take care of widows and Ruth from the bible, I really try to be faithful. 
 
As you know when older people become ill, other issues come up too and that is what is happening with her, kidneys, retaining fluid and now her hemoglobin is at 6. 
 
Dh spoke with her this morning on how she treated me yesterday, she goes I know but I'm mad about being here and want to go home, Our house.  I have problems with her in the past regarding behaviors, infact I had to quit a full time job because she was being nasty to the kids.
 
I wasn't gonna go to the hospital today but she started to have more issues, so I went.  All of a sudden my sister-in-law shows up, the one who is never around until something happens.  Well she is staying at the hospital 24/7. 
 
I have no desire to go up there, I'm ready to talk to husband about his mom moving into a home, I'm tired and frustrated.  I like quiet, peace and to enjoy my children.

crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 6/27/2010 3:15 PM (GMT -7)   
KellyJo, my heart goes out to you! Care... for the caretaker, that's what you need.
You are in a difficult position. Taking care of someone ill is a fulltime job.

I'm glad your husband talked to his Mom. It is difficult when your parents reach an
age where their health is failing, and family members aren't cooperative in helping
out. The decision on where Mom or Dad should stay is very difficult. Your MIL might
be a candidate for pallative care. Her hemoglobin is quite low and that would explain
her exhaustion.

I do hope that everything works out for your family and that you can get some much
needed rest. Sending you gentle hugs and saying a prayer for you and your family

Hugs, Robin


Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
Folic Acid.  OTC Meds: Multi-vitamin. Vit, D, Vitamin B12 & calciim supplements
 
 

Post Edited (crazykitty) : 6/27/2010 4:21:53 PM (GMT-6)


KellieJo
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 382
   Posted 7/13/2010 4:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Please keep her in your prayers she is at a rehab hospital, mobility is better but now more health issues has come up, blood counts have dropped recieved transfusion last night.

Her wound has become infected and she has so much swelling in her legs it was coming out in her pores. Her bladder isn't functioning as it should.

I also know if she can't do the rehab insurance will not continue to pay and she would be transferred.

Oh, I have meeting today with them and been awake since 3:30. So keep me in prayers please too.

Thanks everyone.

AustenFan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 7/13/2010 6:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Soft hugs for you KellieJo, and I said a prayer for your mom and the situation.

Austen
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 7/13/2010 7:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Will pray for you both!

hugs, Robin


Acheybody
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5929
   Posted 7/13/2010 7:49 AM (GMT -7)   
KellieJo,

It's like running a long, long sprint, isn't it? Talk about exhausting! You will be in my prayers, too.

Achey
   Fibromyalgia, possible Meniere's, elevated liver enzymes, skin grafting on back, arthritis, scoliosis, lumbar disc damage, sciatica, IBS, migraine headaches, tachycardia, skin cancer surgeries on face
    Nortriptyline, Clonazepam, Darvocet as needed
    Multivitamins, l-lysine, probiotics, magnesium, malic acid, calcium + vit. D, vit. C
    Chiropractic adjustments
 
This too shall pass....


GSDgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1286
   Posted 7/13/2010 8:10 AM (GMT -7)   
KellyJo, I saw my mom go through a very similar situation with my grandmother.  I was younger and wasn't much help and do regret that but the relatives who only showed up a few times a year always knew best.  You are in my thoughts
Denise from Pittsburgh, Pa
 ***diagnosis: high blood pressure, gastritis, fibromyalgia, hepatitis (SVR/cleared),  disc problems in neck, depression, anxiety & stress, cervical headaches, porphyria-PCT, IBS
 ***meds: metroplol 25mg, zoloft 150mg, gabapentin 300mg 3x a day zocor , (soma, fioronal, tramadol, as needed).
 ***other supps: calcium, vit D 2,000-4,000 per, milk thistle, vit C &E, acidopholos (sp?),  
CO-Q 10,  flax or fish oil, ginsing, magnesium, B complex,
 


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17097
   Posted 7/13/2010 8:44 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers.  It's so difficult seeing this stuff happen but sometimes they make a complete turn around. 
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


Libby08
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 434
   Posted 7/13/2010 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Will be praying for you and your family.  I have a friend who is in a similar situation and I've seen first hand how stressful it has been for her and her whole family. 
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