My mother has been having fainting spells. She is 79 yrs old and lives 6 hours from me. My sister lives 4 miles from her and is her POA. We have hired a daytime sitter due to the dementia and the TIAs that she had and required surgery for in April.
I went home and stayed for 2 weeks to help during the surgeries. I stayed in the hospital at night with her. My husband is disabled and can not leave the protective bubble of our home because he has allergic reactions to smells, touching things and his diet is very limited to where he can eat NOTHING prepared outside of our home or our daughter's home because she knows his diet.
I have to oversee everything in our home for getting repairs done, bill paying, the worries to figure out how to take care of things. I also have fibro and other auto immune illnesses. I have a very difficult time driving for longer than an hour, but made the drive to my mother's home during the emergency.
My sister is going on vacation and told me I have to come home so she can take a vacation.
In order to do that, I would have to leave my husband alone (again) after I cook and prepare meals in advance of my being gone in addition to having all items purchased that he may need for while I am away. I would also have to prepare my food due to celiac disease and take all of that with me in order to go care for my mother. Then when coming home, I would just have to do this all over again for my husband and myself without any rest in between.
My husband and I have not been on a vacation in 5 yrs and that was just to a local hotel for a week because at the time our youngest was so sick that we were not sure she was going to live. We were afraid to leave our town, but we left the house just to have a different scenery for our 25th anniversary.
Other than our youngest daughter, I have no one to help me with my husband. My sister does not like my husband and she dismisses my celiac needs as just a 'choice in making my diet difficult on purpose.'
Am I wrong to feel upset that she just expects me to come home to take care of our mother so she can go on vacation? (I know she has it difficult with having our mother call her all the time, but she doesn't go over every day.)
I am not shirking my duty to help out with my mother, it is just I have my hands full and I am in the middle of having to take our youngest for a license exam for her CNA and having a new roof put on our home during the time that my sister will be on vacation. Not to mention my husband had medicine changes today and will have to be monitored for reactions and then go in for another sleep study because his apnea is worse.
I do not want to be petty, but I am just really angry that I was 'told' to come.