Do you express your emotions?

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crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 7/17/2010 7:39 AM (GMT -7)   
I think it takes more energy to keep all my emotions bottled up than to release
them. A good cry is sometimes needed.
 
I'm open and honest with my husband and have expressed my feelings and fears.
It is OK to tell others if you are having a bad day. There is a differance between
dwelling on how bad you are feeling and discussing it. If you do feel hoplessness
telling your doctor is important.
 
Learning to cope is easier if I'm active in doing what I can do to help myself.
It is up to me to establish my new "normal." I know there are many activities I can
no longer do, so I had to find new activities to replace them.
 
Still taking one day at a time. wink   Tomorrow will be one year that I've been here.
Thank you my fibro family for all the caring support you have given me!
 
Hugs, Robin
Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
Folic Acid.  OTC Meds: Multi-vitamin. Vit, D, Vitamin B12 & calciim supplements
 
 


sotiredoffibro
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1556
   Posted 7/17/2010 8:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Just want to say happy anniversary Robin and Im glad you are still here. You have been so supportive to all of us. Thank You.
Gentle Hugs
Shirley
DX: Fibro, Gerds, COPD, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, High Blood Pressure, and Depression.
When I get where Im going dont cry for me down here. (Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton)


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 7/17/2010 8:43 AM (GMT -7)   

Yes, my dear Robin...you have been an inspiration to all of us.  I think I keep my emotions bottled up to the point that it may be unhealthy as so many of our friends are still very active and still have no clue what I feel like.  Over the 4th of July, my son and his family visited from out of town and one of the things on their itineray was to go down this half mile hill (straight down) to a secluded beach on Lake Ontario.  It literally was 100 degrees out. My DIL took pictures of us all and posted them on facebook.  I am grimacing and holding my hip in every picture and I actually cried when I looked at those photos.  I asked her to take them off.  I didn't say anything as we made this trek.  Going back up that hill about killed me.  I find it so hard to keep coming up with what I perceive as excuses for not being able to participate in the most simplistic endeavors.  Yesterday, a bunch of 60 something friends played tennis then went swimming in this heat.    I sent the hubby by himself.

Oh, I am rambling, but you get the picture.

Huggies

Donna

 

 


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: valium Advil
 
Reach out and touch someone.  If they don't touch you back it's because you still  have brownie batter on your face.


Irish Babe
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1371
   Posted 7/17/2010 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Robin - HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! So glad you joined the family, always a joy to read your kind and uplifting posts. I had to look at the date under your name, I can't believe it has ONLY been 1 yr. It seems like we have 'known' you forever.
 
I have always been a very private person. I have never felt comfortable w/ letting my emotions run free. I grew up in a house where you knew you were loved, but not a lot of outward signs. Since I married my husband, I have tried to undo a lot of old behaviors. I wanted my children to be comfortable w/ letting out their emotions. I still keep a check on mine re how I feel. It was very hard for my DH to accept that things have gotten worse w/ me, since I would put on my 'face' and carry on. The rest of my family still finds it difficult to believe, but I can only carry on for so long and then I crash.
 
I don't like ppl to see me cry, heck, I don't like to see me cry. I feel like a failure when that happens. And yet, so much has happened in the past few yrs, it takes all my resolve to keep going. There are a few things going on right now, I can't go there right now or I will lose it. I tend to back away when my emotions run high. It is not the Alice most ppl I know are used to seeing and it scares them. They expect me to be strong all the time. They expect me to be calm all the time, while they blow up. I am so grateful for my DH, he does help me to keep grounded, but there is so much going on w/ his health, I don't want to stress him out even more. I usually try to work out in the garden to help relieve stress, but it has been horrid here 95-100+ and humid. I just can't be out that long.
 
Donna, I am amazed that you made it up and down that hill. You are incredible.  yeah  I would never have been able to do that, level ground or I can't do it. I'm just so sorry that it cost you so dearly to do it. Just thinking about playing tennis then swimming drained me.
 
I'm so glad we all found this forum, it has been such a blessed relief to find other ppl who know exactly what you mean. I thank God for each and every one of you.
 
Hope you all have a great day!
 
God bless.  Alice.

crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 7/17/2010 10:05 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm glad we all found this place too. I feel such a bond with my fibro family. It is
one place that I know where everyone "gets it". There is a understanding of pain
and all the trials and tribulations that go with it. Life in general is complicated
enough. I know that many of you have alot going on right now regarding your own
health or family members health and I continue to keep you all in my prayers!
 
"Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing."
 
Hugs, Robin
 
 
 
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 7/17/2010 10:15 AM (GMT -7)   
That hill, yeah...  I would have had trouble going down it, let alone going up it.  I could have never have climbed it.  You really did it and you should be proud.  I agree about the photos.  But maybe the other people looking at them don't see them the same way that you do as only you knew how you felt. 
 
It is hard to adjust to our new limitations.  But take it slow and gradually you will find what you can and can not do anymore.  We have to accept it with grace.  Fighting it does no good.  You will get use to the new you.  Remember we are getting older too. 
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Acheybody
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5929
   Posted 7/17/2010 12:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Robin, you really are an inspiration. I'm so glad you're here!

I tend to let my emotions out except that I'm not very good at expressing anger. That is, unless I'm defending someone (human or animal) defenseless. Then I become much more aggressive and the champion of the downtrodden and people get a little freaked because they're used to thinking of me as this mellow and meek little person.
Achey
This too shall pass...   
 
 
fibromyalgia, hearing loss, elevated liver enzymes, skin grafting (back), arthritis, scoliosis, lumbar disc damage, sciatica, IBS, migraines, tachycardia, cancer surgeries (face)
    
 


Atmosphere
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 220
   Posted 7/17/2010 7:50 PM (GMT -7)   
It is really better not too...depending on your age. I'd say. If you have a cane or walker you might be excused or it might seem more understandable.
Otherwise if you're young in the under 30 crowd, then you pretty much have to grin and bear it the best you can.

There really is no way in the world to explain to anybody a body falling apart to a perfectly healthy person who is almost or about the same age as you...or someone older than you who is much better off.

QTKaren
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 7/17/2010 11:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok Im going to take a run at this one becaese I feel so hard about this subject. It takes me along time the even write these posts and I feel so bad for not answering much of the time. Its like go a word and backspace another word or two and backspace and sometimes for every word I type. First of all want to say thanks to Robin fr bringing this up and having a shoulder to cry on when so many ppl have needed it.

As many of you know Ive had several strokes,Ive been able to get myself back to mostly who I had been but this last stroke has been so unforgiving. Today for the first time in my 50 years I had a birthday party thrown for me. My family had said "y9our taking the day off. There will know body asking you for anything all day" The day started off good with my Mom actually getting on time. She is 78 and always give her plenty of time for whatever she needs. I told her yesterday when they came to walk over to the clubhouse she was going to ready right? and she said she was taking her shower and laying her clothes out and yes, she wuld be ready. I didnt have anyone offer to get her today. As a matter of fact they all told me walk over and get her. When I showed up I was limping badly as I was having a major flare in my right ankle and on my right side I also limping with that planters (and I cant remember the other part) hurting in my heel and had fallen 3 days ago and my sciatic nerve was flaring my my right hip and all down my leg. They saw me and then they ask??????I of course go to do it and no,my Mom wasnt ready. In fact she wasnt ready till 11(darn I cant remember the lil thing yu put in for between the numbers) 30 so was off by an hour and a half. Im trying to get her moving and shes goes maybe im a il lady and no one wants me go waaaaaa yes she was being a major drama queen so we get there and everyone was saying oh I was wondering what was taking so long?

And thats pretty much my whole day went. My daighter was stressed from her husband and my brother was stressed from his wife and so on and so on. Then they wondered why I was crying threwout the day? Normly I dont show my emotions and I feel like I have to fix everyone,even my daughter will problycome here to see what I am sayng(yes she googled my posts and read every word I ever wrote about her) so its like there is no place I come to even vent because she will even see this and be po'd about it. Its like I am hurting much of the time and ppl look at me like Im stupid because I cant taked great anymore. I stutter and slur my speach and even my own daughter will say"well get to I dont have all day" or she will gesture me to tell me what Im saying. I dont even know what this is all aboot and I am so frustraited with my life,Oh and some of dont know the best part of all of this.....I walk around with vessel that can rupture any time because of a bunch of stupid rules for medicaid"oh we are sorry Ms. whatever your name is but we dont cover that surgery." Ok I just remembered what this post was about lol Oh I dont know I guess Ive said about all I taken up valueable space dang how do you type "valuable"lol. but really do so much appreiate? yo9u hearing me helping me through hard parts of my life. Whewwwwwwww

Hugs'
Karen
Karen
 
Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
 
 
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x3,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,over 30 surgeries,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic
 
 
 
 


QTKaren
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 7/17/2010 11:25 PM (GMT -7)   
so sorry i looked back and too many typo"s
Karen
 
Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
 
 
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x3,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,over 30 surgeries,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic
 
 
 
 


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 7/18/2010 7:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Karen...Happy Belated Birthday. Hoping your wishes come true!

Karen, Sending big gentle hugs! It must be so frustrating for you because it is so
difficult for you to speak...to be able to get your emotions out freely.

I hope that you can eliminate some stress in your life too. You don't need added
aggravation. Come here whenever possible and let your emotions flow. We are here
for you.

hugs, Robin
Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
Folic Acid.  OTC Meds: Multi-vitamin. Vit, D, Vitamin B12 & calciim supplements
 
 


sotiredoffibro
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1556
   Posted 7/18/2010 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Im so sorry that your birthday was such a bummer for you. My 50th birthday was spent quietly at home and thats how I wanted it. I hope you have better days ahead my friend.

gentle hugs
Shirley
DX: Fibro, Gerds, COPD, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, High Blood Pressure, and Depression.
When I get where Im going dont cry for me down here. (Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton)


TheChickenPrincess
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 554
   Posted 7/18/2010 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
This is a great topic.

Also - Happy Anniversary, Robin. :D

It helps reading what you all have to say about this. While we have this illness in common, it helps hearing about your social struggles, because those are different for all of us.

I grew up in a family that never ever says anything loving, or positive, never hugs. Expression of any kind, whether happiness, love, or sadness, is not allowed. I learned early on that explaining what is going on in my life only gets me in trouble. If something good, or something terrible happens to me, there will be blame placed on me and I'll be sorry for opening my mouth. Self preservation has taught me to keep my mouth shut, about everything large or insignificant. You just have to.

On the flip side, I talk to my b/f daily for several hours by phone. (We're long distance.) I let out pretty much everything to him, but I try to curb it just enough not to overwhelm him. I try not to dwell, but just release the info. Sometimes that's not enough for me. So, I also keep a private blog. Only two people have access to read it - two old online friends. It is more of a live journal - so sometimes I'll add to a days entry 5 or 6 times to get my frustrations out. It helps. Yet, it isn't the same as living a healthy life.

I'm sure this hurts my health. But until I can find a way to support myself and be safely tucked into my own home, this is how I have to live. I'll make it somehow.

Post Edited (TheChickenPrincess) : 7/18/2010 10:55:15 AM (GMT-6)


Acheybody
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5929
   Posted 7/18/2010 9:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Karen, I feel awful for you! Happy late birthday. Maybe there's some way the forum would let you "start over" with a new username and that way your daughter wouldn't know who you are here. Or maybe all that would just be more trouble than it's worth....

You deserve to be treated better!
Achey
This too shall pass...   
 
 
.......fibromyalgia, hearing loss, elevated liver enzymes, skin grafting (back), arthritis, scoliosis, lumbar disc damage, sciatica, IBS, migraines, tachycardia, cancer surgeries (face).......I take Nortriptyline & Clonopin daily, and Darvocet as needed
    
 


TheChickenPrincess
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 554
   Posted 7/18/2010 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Karen - Happy Birthday, sorry I'm offering it late.

It is a shame that your daughter must follow you around the internet and read your posts. That's very childish of her. I used to belong to another forum where another woman had this same problem. Her daughter could not understand the boundaries of privacy - nor understand that every living human being DESERVES their own space. To invade that space is cruel and rude. I hope she stops doing this to you.

Maybe your words don't come out the way you'd like when you speak, but it is clear your thoughts just fine.

Sending gentle hugs your way.

crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 7/18/2010 10:41 AM (GMT -7)   
ChickenPrincess, Journaling is an excellent way to get emotions out. It is a good
release. I write poetry and I have binders filled with every emotion there is.
I always know I can vent here too and believe me I have :)

I'm not one to keep things in...If I'm angry, I show it. Sometimes I'm too emotional
for my own good, but if I kept everything inside I'd blow up for sure!

Hugs, Robin
Fibromyalgia, MCTD (Lupus, Scleroderma & RA) Raynaud's, Osteoporosis,
Osteoarthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, and Hypertension
Prescription Meds: Savella, Cyclobenzaprine, Methotrexate, Diltiazem, Boniva,
Folic Acid.  OTC Meds: Multi-vitamin. Vit, D, Vitamin B12 & calciim supplements
 
 


TheChickenPrincess
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 554
   Posted 7/18/2010 11:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks very much, Robin. :)

MinnyMouse
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 197
   Posted 7/18/2010 7:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen,
It really gets to me when people talk about their "network" or relatives and friends that have no clue what they do to you through their actions and words. You do deserve better. I agree, that you should see if there is a way for you to sign in under a different identity so you have a chance to vent when you need to. Lord knows we all need to vent now and again.

I too keep a private diary. It's locked up tight in my computer and I only share if I need to. But that's MY choice and I can write as much or as little as I want to, keeping it real, griping and complaining and sometimes laughing as I go back and read. My days are mor bad than good and if my husband was not around, God bless him, I really don't know what I would do... We need support systems that will listen and sometimes just listen.

I really hope your year goes better for you. This is the place of safety.

Gentle hugs.
Diagnosis:  Fibremyalgia, Degenerative Disc Disease, Lupus, Osteoarthritis, Anemia, Issues caused by being severely double jointed.
  
Meds:  Vicadin, Meloxicam,Omepraxole(high dose previced)Cipro,2000iu Vit. D daily, 50,000iu weekly, Ambian, Savella, Voltaren Gel, and Pennsaid Drops.
 
 
 


QTKaren
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 7/18/2010 10:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I want to thank you all for being here for me. And I d9o need to say that my daughter and my hubby and my brothers family did get together and are buying me a laptop for my b-day. I was so upset that i didnt say it then and I guess its them doing a nice thing like that that throws me off. would give it back when I get to have just one day they can begin to know how I feel. I guess if they want to know one day I be ready to "talk" I lo9ved hearing all yur stories here and always read the posts even if I cant always write stuff back. Thank Yu for the late birthday wishes.

Special Hugs to You!!
Karen
Karen
 
Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
 
 
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x3,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,over 30 surgeries,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic
 
 
 
 

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