question of getting others to understand

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just_grace
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 62
   Posted 9/10/2010 8:43 AM (GMT -7)   
I have found I have an issue related to my fibro I'm not sure how to handle.  I'm still working and my job is as a server in a busy small town rural restraurant.  There are many locals who come into where I work and whom I've gotten to know on an aquantance type relationship. 
 
My issue is without going into detail of my conditions, how on earth do I get them not to touch me (hugs, pats on the back, grabbing my shoulders, etc) in greeting or well wishing?  I work there fulltime, and while I am still working there are many days in which I call my "don't touch me days" due to pain levels.  My coworkers have learned not to, but it's different in explaining to them than it is to our customers.  I don't want to offend anyone and find it sounding rude to simply say "please don't touch me" in which I know with certainity many would feel I was being rude.  However, I also don't want to go into detail with the customers either.....
 
Lately I've just been gritting my teeth and smiling through it.  Any suggestions?
 
Grace
Dx'd with fibro, oa, and carpal tunnel.
Rx's: Lyrica 150mg 2x day, Savella 100mg 2x day, Nortriptylene 100mg at bedtime, vitD3, fish oil

sobermommy
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 9/10/2010 9:14 AM (GMT -7)   
I can see that being very difficult to get across. Maybe we all need to wear pain number buttons....lol. Then they would know when we are having bad days. Three or less...hugs welcome. I am curious to see what others suggest...maybe I can use the advice too. Good luck!! I hope someone has a great idea.
Trying to keep my focus...

Fibro, deg/bulg discs in neck, rotator cuff tear, exteme nerve pain in hands after carpal tunnel on both, multiple foot surgeries with pain still, IBS, tension headaches, (Lap band)

Savella, MS contin, Vicoden, claritin, prilosec, flonase, vitamins, calcium

1flwrchild
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 9/10/2010 9:37 AM (GMT -7)   
That would be very difficult.  Sobermommy I love the idea of the pain buttons. idea   How long do you think it would take for it to catch on? I'm ready! wink  
Deb

sotiredoffibro
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1556
   Posted 9/10/2010 9:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow Grace that is a tough one. I dont even have any advice for you because as you said it is a touchy subject especially when it is customers. Maybe you could ask your doctor about darvocet. It is not as strong of a drug as some of the other ones and you should be able to take it and still be able to work. It did help me with the pain while I was working. After my gastric bypass though I could no longer take it due to stomache sensitivity to it. I will be praying for you that you find a solution soon.
Gentle Hugs
Shirley
DX: Fibro, Gerds, COPD, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, High Blood Pressure, and Depression.
When I get where Im going dont cry for me down here. (Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton)

Acheybody
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 5930
   Posted 9/10/2010 10:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Grace,

That is a really tough one. I sometimes say I have a pain disorder or a muscle disorder that makes my muscles really sore, and if they ask more, I'll say it's called fibromyalgia and no, they don't know what causes it, and you can do some things to help but there is no cure yet.

How in the world can you work in a restaurant?? I did that when I was young and I remember how heavy those trays can be (but then, maybe "young" is the key word here!) More power to you, but I hope you're not pushing yourself too hard. I really do think that the fact that I kept lifting my kids and trying to do Nautilus and everything else I'd always done, even after my symptoms started, contributed to my fibro (of course, I didn't know that's what it was.) If I had backed off on the muscles, stretched more, relaxed more, I wonder if it would have gotten as bad as it did. Who knows? I didn't even know there was such a thing back in the 80s.

Debbie
...fibromyalgia, hearing loss, elevated liver enzymes, skin grafting (back), arthritis, scoliosis, lumbar disc damage, sciatica, IBS, migraines, tachycardia, cancer surgeries (face).......I take Nortriptyline & Clonopin daily, and Darvocet as needed

GSDgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1286
   Posted 9/10/2010 5:27 PM (GMT -7)   
For me that is an easy one...........Until the last few years I could not stand to be touched, not from pain either, but I would noticably stiffen up. I never realized it until my aunt mentioned it. I still don't really like to be touched and not from some unmentionable thing happening to me, I just don't like it.

I waited tables for 10 years and I know how hard the work is. Maybe when you see the "touch" coming you could back up just a little and the touch will be lighter??? Good Luck
Denise from Pittsburgh, Pa
 ***diagnosis: high blood pressure, gastritis, fibromyalgia, hepatitis (SVR/cleared),  disc problems in neck, depression, anxiety & stress, cervical headaches, porphyria-PCT, IBS
 ***meds: metroplol 25mg, zoloft 150mg, gabapentin 300mg 3x a day zocor , (soma, fioronal, tramadol, as needed).
 ***other supps: calcium, vit D 2,000-4,000 per, milk thistle, vit C &E, acidopholos (sp?),  
CO-Q 10,  flax or fish oil, ginsing, magnesium, B complex,
 

just_grace
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 62
   Posted 9/10/2010 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   
GSDgirl..... I have a problem being touched, just for the sake too.  If I don't know someone and consider them a good friend, I don't like to be touched (in addition to it now being a pain factor).  It's very difficult though when you live in a rural area as I do.  A lot would be offended if I just said "don't touch".  Usually I can manage to step aside *if* I see it coming. 
 
Debbie.....I will probably try to keep it simple with "I have a pain condition/disorder"
 
I wait tables because honestly it's the best money in the area for me with a specific degree in something.  The area I live to get a better paying job, you basically have to know the "jones" and the "smiths" and be on their good list or kill someone.  And then there is a waiting list *lol* 
 
We do not use trays where I work, just carrying the plates or baskets.  Only trays we have are for drinks.  My employers are willing to work with me on things I can't do, which helps a lot.  And yes, often I push myself too hard and end up paying for it by not being able to do anything on my days off.  I owe,  so I go.  I'm not so young anymore, 45 this month.  I use to be a lot more active, and I miss that the most.  Going for 5 mile walks a day, dancing to stay fit, weight lifting.  Anymore, those things are a daydream.
 
Shirley.... Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.  I'm not sure taking another pill is where I want to go right now.  I worry over all the ones I take already.
 
Deb and Sober.... *lol* I like the idea of buttons too!
 
 
Dx'd with fibro, oa, and carpal tunnel.
Rx's: Lyrica 150mg 2x day, Savella 100mg 2x day, Nortriptylene 100mg at bedtime, vitD3, fish oil

sobermommy
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 9/11/2010 7:40 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL...we would have to carry the whole 1 thru 10 collection with since pain can change so drastically...but it seemed like a good idea...lol.
Trying to keep my focus...

Fibro, deg/bulg discs in neck, rotator cuff tear, exteme nerve pain in hands after carpal tunnel on both, multiple foot surgeries with pain still, IBS, tension headaches, (Lap band)

Savella, MS contin, Vicoden, claritin, prilosec, flonase, vitamins, calcium
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