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Django Hendrix
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 2/18/2008 12:49 PM (GMT -7)   
My mood is really messed up. I'm afraid I might lose it and smash up my apartment or do something self-destructive. Does late stage hep C affect your mood? I wish I could put a name to this, because I am not a bad person. I've got to start interfueron in a few months and I am afraid that, if I feel this depressed and destructive now, that the interfueron will push me over the edge. The worst part is that i'm going to have to go through this completely alone with no physical support (the internet is Ok as far as it goes). I'm scared and i don't know if I have enough fortitude to see it through.

pasey_1
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 2/19/2008 1:00 AM (GMT 0)   

Hi,

I wish I had some really great news for you. All I know is my own personal experience. I started the interfueron and I was also very concerned about depression because I have suffered from it for years and been under treatment. It is very important to let your doctor know so that they can closely monitor you. I won't lie to you. When I took my first shot I had no idea it would effect me the way it did. It was awful. My fever went way high , my joints hurt so bad I was trying to crawl away from the pain and I was crying for my mother  (so my son said) and she has been gone for over 20 years. The next day I remember telling my son that I didn't think I could do this and he told me "Mom, you don't have a choice". Out of the mouths of babes huh! The good thing I can tell you is that each week it got better and my depression did not seem to worsen. I wish I could tell you how it turned out for me but my insurance cancelled me when I was half way through the treatment so I don't know how it would have turned out if I had been able to complete the treatment. But in my heart I know I would do it again if I could. I know how scared you are especially to think you are facing this alone. You may see if the local hospital has a support group you could attend. If not, remember this site and know that somewhere there is someone who will be thinking and praying for you. Good luck and God bless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pasey_1


Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 2/18/2008 8:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Django Hendrix and welcome to our forum, I am sorry that you have to go through this. Having Hep C is bound to affect anyone's mood. You are going to having to reach down into your inner most self and find the strength to get through this. Some times people are a lot stronger than they think. When you're backed into a corner you need to come out fighting. It's gonna be one tough battle but you really don't have any other choice. Give it all you got and fight like you never fought before. Fight the disease not yourself.
It's okay to be scared and it's quite normal. But you can not let your being afraid keep you from at least trying to fight this.
You're right the support on the internet isn't quite the same. But I will tell you one thing...... it saved me! That's the trueth. Keep coming here...we will listen while you vent . Give you advise ....sometimes whether you want it or not. All of us here care about each other including you. So don't sell us short.

Take care and calm down....you aren't alone. Thoughts and prayers.
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


frustrated_n_wv
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 469
   Posted 2/19/2008 4:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Django

I have no experience with Hep C, however I think that all liver diseases affect our moods. The anxiety/fear of not knowing what will come next and the anger of the unfairness of the situation is enough to greatly impact even the strongest of individuals. It s normal to have all those feelings but it is impotant to find healthier ways to release our fears and frustrations. I have found myself on occassions that I am filled with emotions, taking a vigorous walk away from people and screaming at the top of my lungs. It may sound silly but it helped me at the moment release all the tension and anxiety. The support I have found here has been a tremedous support. I know that it is not the same as sitting and talking to someone, however, I have found that most of the people that I know do not have any personal experience in dealing with any of these disorders as the people here do. You might check with the american liver foundation and see if there is a support group in your area or your local hospitals may have some also.

Good Luck and remember you have to control the disease, don't let it control you.

Lucy

1Shelly1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 502
   Posted 2/19/2008 11:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Django, Please visit Cary F's thread with "no subject" posted today.
    Shelly


Django Hendrix
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 2/19/2008 1:06 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you for all of your replies. Your support makes me feel better. Still scared, but at least I'm not going into this thing completely uninformed. I've read about it, but it helps more to hear peoples personal experiences. I was supposed to start in December, but something came up. Anyway, my Dr. gave me an ultimatum and he gave me three months to get my ducks in a row before I start. So early May is when it happens. I've been in so much denial about even having Hep C, but lately it's hit me that this is real and that it is serious and I think this is why I've been so darn angry. My Biopsy came back stage 3 to 4 fibrosis which is borderline cirhosis. In any case, I feel fortunate that I have time to prepare. Thanks for all of your suggestions. I know for sure that I'm going to start eating healthier and that I'm going to try and put on some weight, if I can. I'm a very thin guy and can't afford to lose too much. The depression, however, really has me concerned.

DH


pasey_1
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 2/19/2008 4:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, I just want to say one more thing on the depression subject. In my opinion, at least concerning myself just the fact that I know depression is a problem for me has made me more aware. I find myself regcognizing some of the signs in me that I am going into a serious funk (my technical word for it LOL) and probably 8 times out of 10 I can go for a walk, read, cry to my cat or whatever it takes to get through it. Some days I think, one day at a time other days it may be one hour at a time. But I CAN get through it just like I am sure that you can too! Beleive in your inner strength. We never know how strong we are until we are faced with what may be our worst fear. I am by know means someone who knows it all. Anyway I am rambling, another bad habit. Just try to look at it this way. You can control the depression, don't let it control you. And yes it can sometimes be an everyday battle but it is one we can win!!!!!!!!!!!
Pasey
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