When To Give In....

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angiesmommy
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 3/26/2008 4:41 PM (GMT -7)   
 If you read my prior posts, you'll know that my hubby and I are losing his battle against alcoholism. He doesn't want to try to sober up; if he doesn't have the desire or the will then I certainly can't force him, anymore than a doctor could. He has been drinking excessively (pint or more of vodka per day) for the last 25 years. He has had 4 varices banded, has severe ascites (fluid) in his belly. He sleeps all the time and doesn't eat or drink properly. He has had MANY drs. explain to him that his body is shutting down, but won't do anything to fix the problem. He gets his license back in two weeks and I'll be darnED if I'll let him get behind the wheel of a car intoxicated again! He pulled that too many times, once with me in the passenger seat going down Interstate 80 with the car in cruise control. We were up to 75 MPH when I noticed him passed out behind the wheel! He had evidently swigged down a pint of vodka before we left...I wasn't aware of it until wew were on the freeway. He started slurring his words and swerving, and there was little I could do. After he finally passed out I was able to tap the brake pedal with my foot outstretched, thus releasing the cruise control. I braked slowly and pulled the car over to the far right lane (all this from the passenger side, mind you) and, with God as my co-pilot, we hit a chain link fence at about 30 MPH. Fortunately no one was injured.
 I will NOT let him put a passenger in the position I was in at that time if I can help it. He will NOT drive our grandchildren anywhere anymore. If he wants to drink himself to death, there is nothing else I can do. I love him, I understand the disease enough to know that it is a killer and entwines it's ugly grasp around it's victim, the victim's family and friends. I have been seeing a counselor and going to Alanon for 5 years now. He may not want to live, but I DO! Yes, I will be supportive of him until his last breath. But I will not let him endanger anybody else's life. If that means that he needs a bottle and wants to drive down to the store to get it  (he always drinks it before coming back home) then I will be the one to purchase his liquor. It is not how I wanted this story to end, but I couldn't bear to know that I allowed him to drive down to get a bottle of vodka and he kills a child on a bike on the way home.

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 3/26/2008 5:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Angiesmommy my heart goes out to you. I know how helpless you are feeling. I was in your shoes once. I vowed never again.
Call his doctor and have him call the Dept of Motor Vehicles. If the doctor sends them a note that he's not fit to drive they should suspend his license. DMV suspended my husband's license when his doctor reported that he was having seizures. If if your husband isn't having the seizures, the encephalopy should be enough to do the trick.
Hang in there. I know it's hard, but you are doing what you need to do.
If he is determined to drink he's going to drink.

Take care ..........my thoughts and prayers will be with you.
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


angiesmommy
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 3/26/2008 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
 Thank you. pink grandma! I never thought of calling his dr. to have his license revoked; I just assumed I'd have to call the police and have them arrest him again for drunk driving. A drs. note is much cheaper and more effective. Thank you for your advice!
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