end stage liver disease

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allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 4/1/2008 1:13 AM (GMT -7)   
HI I am new to this forum, i have been reading all the threads and everything rings true. my mother has been drinking heavily for many years. she has lost her job, her driving license, friends, and now her health and dignity. she has been in hospital for the last 5 weeks. the doctors have told us that she has only 5-10% of her liver working and do not know if she will make it. the last time she was in hospital for 7 weeks she was brought in for ascites, bleeding varices, jaundice, massive abnormal bruising, hypertension amongs other things. she was told then if she continued to drink she would die.  this is her rock bottom i thought, this will make her see sense.  she lasted two days and she was drinking again. this time the swelling was much worse, her legs, stomach, even her face were swollen to three times the size. again she has the varices this time her stomach and rectum had to be banded, she was told to be on a low sodium diet and was allowed out at the weekend.  by the time i took her back she was very sick, vomiting all the time, no energy very yellow.  they told us her kidneys were very badly dehydrated and put her on a sodium drip.  she is not getting any better, she is in a lot of pain.  yesterday she went for another ct scan and x ray.  i am frightened to go in to see her as i fear the worse. they seem to be confused as to what treatment to give her, should i keep asking them???? sorry for going on a bit,her partner is alone has no one to talk to so i feel as if i have to be his shoulder to cry on, but i want that too. i pray for another chance for her but a small part of me wants everything to be over so i and my mum do not have to go through it all again.  i feel so guilty at feeling that, but i do not see her coming off the drink when she gets out
 
 
 

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 4/1/2008 2:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Allie I am so sorry that your are going through this. And I do understand your feelings. And they are normal given the circumstances. It's one of the hardest things in life to watch your loved one so ill. With everything that is going on with her it really doesn't look good. Do you have any other family to be with you? If so call them.
Take care Allie........my thoughts and prayers will be with you and your mum.
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


1Shelly1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 502
   Posted 4/1/2008 5:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Allie, I'm so sorry. Pink Grandma has said what I would have said-what you are feeling is absolutely normal. The guilt feelings you mentioned is something we all feel at one time or another. I also think that awful feeling of "What's next" is always hanging around too. The not knowing drove me crazy when my mom was sick. If you don't have family to help you thru this I hope you have a best friend you can call to give you some emotional support. I am sending you a hug now and you know that we are here for you.
 Shelly
 

“Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."

 


allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 4/8/2008 1:20 AM (GMT -7)   
luck must be on my mothers side. she is due to get out of hospital today after 6 weeks again. i am so confused i keep getting mixed information, one minute they are saying that she is fine the next seroiusly ill. now i am dreading the future. i do not have any faith in her, i know that sounds terrible, but i would love her to prove me wrong. she has been confused but now you would think she has been recovering from a routine operation.  you dare not mention the word "drink" if you do you can see the mood changing. this time i have only asked her to try as hard to get herself better, she says she cant say anything as she does not know how she will feel when she gets out.  i do not know whether to take that as a positive or negative reply.now this is the part i am dreading.  as everyone knows only too well having an alcoholic parent can drive you daft, your emotions are all over the place and as much as you try not to it ends up the same way taking over your life. we have a small family only my mum and gran apart from myself and my family.  thank god i have a good marriage with two kids (19 and 12) my youngest is adopted and i am going through some serious behaviour issues and i am needed at home. i also have to care for my gran(as my mum is unable), she has recently been put in a care home, after falling down 12 stairs whilst in my mothers drunken care. i do not know how to live my life without this taking over as i am needed as a grand daughter, mother and wife just as much as i am needed as a daughter.how to people get through this!!!!! thank you for all your kind words.....

1Shelly1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 502
   Posted 4/8/2008 7:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Allie, I am so sorry that things are so confusing and distressing right now. The choice to drink or not is solely your moms decision. Unfortunately, the brunt of caretaking falls in your lap. Are you attending any therapy meetings? There may be some in your area that are free and I would suggest that you attend if there are. You need help in coping with her disease and the affects that this has all had on you. Try not to be too confused with all the input you are getting from the Dr's. The fact remains that she has liver disease and apparently is unable to comply with Dr's orders to not drink. When one Dr tells you she's OK that may mean that at this stage in her disease she is not at death's door. Another Dr may say she is seriously ill and will continue to deteriorate. Maybe you should ask each one to be "specific" when they tell you something that conflicts with what the other one told you. Don't be afraid to say to them. "What exactly do you men when you say that". You can ask that over and over again until you are satisfied that you understand. Tell them that you are confused and need them to be specific with their comments.

 Shelly
 

“Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."

 

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