what to expect?

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allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 6/2/2008 3:07 AM (GMT -7)   
i wrote earlier on in the year about my mother.  she has only 5_10 % 0f her liver functioning properly.she got out of hosp 4 weeks ago after 7 weeks. every symptom of the disease she had, the doctors once again patched her up and out she came. she has been drinking every day, and is now back in hospital after having two seizuires, they also said that ct scan had shown she has had a stroke.  she is talking now going through withdrawals, can move her arms legs, they are waiting to do another scan.  theymight not if her symptoms keep improving.  she is constantly sick even after drinking water, her nose is bleeding and her arms are all black with blood. is this what is going to happen next, the sezuires i mean. she has no interest in stopping drinking i know she is dying and i do not know how to cope. i know in my heart she will not stop. her doctors have told her she will be dead before sept if she continues. i dont know whAT I SHOULD BE DOING, I find it really hard having to go to hospitals, as i am the only one and am also responsible fo my gran who is in a care home and is sick at the moment. i fell a deep ache when i think how helpless i fell. her partner had trouble contacting me when she was took to hospitel he panicked because he was told it ddid not look good. she seems oblivious to what is going on around her worst thing is knowing she will drink again first opportunity..should i go to councilling for help please advise

1Shelly1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 502
   Posted 6/2/2008 5:42 AM (GMT -7)   
allie, It sounds like you are at your wits end right now and justifiably so. You are realistic to assume that your mother will not quit drinking and it will eventually take her life. My suggestion to you is that YOU go to counceling to resolve any issues that you may have. If you think it will help you cope then that is the thing to do. This is all about your anguish and frustration with your moms drinking not about changing your moms behavior. You said that you don't know what YOU should be doing..........frankly, there is nothing you can do at this point except love her. You don't have to fight her demons for her. Your obligation is to yourself and your own family. As sad as this is with your mom you must remember that she has made her own decisions and she is responsible for the outcome of those decisions. Love her while you still have her and get counceling to come to terms with her alcoholism.
 Shelly
 

“Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."

 


allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 6/2/2008 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   
my mum has been jaundiced on and off for the last three years. she has had severe bleeding from varices in her stomach and bowel. her legs swell up so much that it is very painful to watch. she is only 60 and lives with her partner who is 76. he is fit for his age and cares for her. her house is not the same as it was years ago as you can imagine. she refuses help from anyone and sometimes refuses her medication. her arms are black blood bruised even before she goes into hospital. they say her blood is refusing to clot so they give her something for that. she would go mad if i offer to help never mind asking her to go into nursing home or even having someone there to help. i think if she lived alone i would try and persuade her. i am so grateful for your suggesstions. i am frightened that she takes another stroke, is that what usually happens. did you get councilling to deal with your brothers death, did it help you? my mum seems lost in her own depressing world and i feel helpless

allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 6/3/2008 1:10 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you again for your kind words of reassurance. it has made a difference you telling me that your brother was not in any pain. i am sorry for your loss. you know sometimes life is funny.  i do not have any brothers or sisters or any extended family aunts or uncles(apart from my mums brother who also is an alcoholic and has lived in australia for 30 years or more). my grandfather died of alcoholic liver disease, my father who i do not see is also a chronic alcoholic. all that is left is my gran who i am responsible for and my mum. i wonder if this is my future, but i know i am stronger than that. i do have a great supporting husband and 2 children(19 and 12). my husbands parents have been sober for many years. i am so grateful and lucky to have a good family which i am proud of. your words are helping me to cope with this terrible disease and also to maybe prepare for the future as i do know in my heart what lies ahead.  unless there is a miracle. so many people and their families are affected by alcohol and i am going to try and show my mum i love her no matter what. i feel guilty because i told her i do not know how long i can cope going to emergency rooms, i do not know why i said that as i know i will always be there for her.

allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 6/4/2008 1:26 AM (GMT -7)   
i forget that people are using this site from all over the world. i live in Scotland. i went to the hospital yesterday mum has been moved into another ward. i told her i would always be there for her no matter what. whether she was sober or not. and i told her i loved her.  her medication was making her a little loopy but i am sure she understood what i was saying to her.i will look up the book that you recommended as soon as i can. i also visit my gran her mother yesterday (she brought me up )we are very close, but she is struggling with life its self right now. she is 88 and very depressed at the moment. i just have to find the strength to be there for them both, also remembering i have my own family to think about. it definately is good to talk.
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