I'm in need of HELP!

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mom's "will" to live
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 111
   Posted 6/6/2008 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
 Hello All,
 Pink Grandma, Shelly, Connie??? Anyone, Will has been sick to his stomache alot lately and very tired . Well, you know I wrote a few weeks back that he is now engaged to be married and set a date for Oct. 18, 2008. We have definately had alot of issues but , as of today Miss stops in my work and tosses a pregnancy test at me saying positive! What are the chances this child can be born with Hep B. First of all they have only been together for 3 months now and of course LIED to me about safe sex! She has also lied to me about getting tested and starting  her vaccine shots. After, Will got the news he needs a liver transplant even before he has always been very cautious! I'm scared for Miss because she went last Sat and had a exray of her mouth for a tooth infection. I warned them about the risks involved . I could be a grandma with a sick son, mother and child. Where can I get info on this. 
Will, Aug. 31,2002 chronic Hep B 1987-1988 16MONTHS OLD
      Aug. 31,2004 chronic HepB stage F3
      Aug. 31 2007 Cirrhosis with 2 lesions on right lobe         He's been on INTERFERON, HEPSERA, NOW BERRACLUDE, DR. SAY'S IS LAST RESORT MEDS   
                                                                                 i WISH i COULD BE HAPPY but, I'm in shock and dismay.
Please someone anyone Help!
 Thanks Toni
                                                                               

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 6/6/2008 3:24 PM (GMT -7)   

{{{{{{{Toni}}}}}}}}  I'm so sorry that you now have this additional stress.  I don't know why, but I just had a gut feeling that this was going to happen...perhaps because the marriage plans seemed so premature and Miss seemed irresponsible.  Okay, since she didn't get immunized she needs to get tested for Hep B.  I'm not sure how soon that will show up.  However, that is the first thing that needs to happen before your mind races ahead to her being infected and passing it on to the unborn child.  Meanwhile, they absolutely need to practice safe sex.  If she has contracted the hep, I'm not sure what treatment she could have (if any) while pregnant.  I am thinking of HIV treatment in an infected pregnant woman and know there is something to prevent the baby from being born HIV positive.  That is why we are hearing of fewer babies being born with HIV, at least in this country.  So perhaps there is something for hep B mothers and babies, too.  If Miss tests negative, then again...they absolutely need to practice safe sex.  Both of them need to understand the necessity for doing this.

Take a deep breath, Toni.  My prayers are with you all.

Hugs,

Connie



Caregiverx3<3
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 197
   Posted 6/7/2008 11:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello Toni,
I have read your post for awhile but never responded. I'm trying not to say too much now, but I would like to take 'MISS THANG" out to the woodshed and whip the crap out of her. I know it's none of my business, but she sure is doing her best to put you between a rock and a hard place.
She isn't mature enough to raise a child. Are you sure that this is HER pregnancy test?

Sorry if I'm speaking wrongly of her.Maybe I should go back and read your posts again.

Carol
 


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 6/7/2008 1:45 PM (GMT -7)   

"they test ALL New Born Pregnant Women for Hepatitis B"

Dansbrother, that gave me a giggle.  Not that it's a laughing matter, but the way you stated it makes it sound as though newborns are pregnant women.   Read it again and you'll see what I mean.

Anyway...that was good info.  I do believe I remember something about pregnant women being tested for hep B and given gamma globulin if positive.  Since there is a blood exchange via the placenta between mother and fetus, it would seem that an unborn baby could contract the disease that way...but apparently not.  I know that with HIV, I've read that it's also during birth that the disease can be passed from mother to child.  Things that make you go hmmm.

Carol, I have some less than polite thoughts about Miss, too.  For example, how stupid of her not to get immunized against hep B when that is readily available, and she must know that she's at great risk of contracting the disease when her fiance is sick with it and has been for years.  Also, it seems that she got pregnant on purpose.  I think she feels that will keep Toni from coming between her and Will, probably knowing that he will definitely marry her now that she is pregnant.  She obviously knew that Toni did not approve and was fearful that Will would come to his senses and not marry her.

Oh, well, what's done is done.  I do hope that Toni can tell Will to insist that she 1. get tested for hep B and 2. if she's negative get immunized.  He could refuse to have sex with her until she does this, or even tell her that the marriage is off unless she does this.  Toni, I hope you have enough influence upon your son to get him to insist on taking some hard tactics with his fiancee.  I know that he is no longer a child, so there is only so much you can do...and that's what makes it so frustrating.  sad   Again, I am so sorry you are having this additional stress added to that which you are already under.

Hugs,

Connie


SeaWings
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 6/7/2008 2:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I never have much to say but I do read all the posts since my husband has cirrhosis. Can't resist responsing to Miss and her pregnancy test...agree she is totally irresponsible. It's too bad she is over 18 so she doesn't need her parent's consent to marry. What have her parents and Will said about this? Can your local Dept. of Health counseling do anything to get through to them? Most of them have marriage and family counseling. Does she have her own medical insurance. If they can wait to marry and she was enrolled full time in college (since she won't work), her parents could list her on their insurance. This is so totally unfair to Will and you to have to deal with this added stress. If they wish to live like adults you must insist that they act like adults and bear their own responsibilities. I wish I could offer more help and ideas to relieve your stress. Sorry if this sounds rude or harsh, it's not meant to be.
Jan

Caregiverx3<3
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 197
   Posted 6/7/2008 3:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Well Dan, I giggled at thet too. I had to read it several times because it made me laugh and "that made me feel good." I know we all type fast and make mistakes, but come on now, that is funny. You do give some good advice though, Dan.

OK, Toni, hope you got a laugh , too!

Carol
 


Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 6/7/2008 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Toni, So sorry that you have to deal with this also. I don't know what to say. It is just so sad that your prospective daughter-in-law doesn't seem to have any common sense. I know that she is young but to put both herself and her unborn child at risk totally irresponsible.

I think that if I was in your shoes I would have a long hard talk with my son....alone.
Confirm that she is actually pregnant first. And with his child second. If it is the case then your son shares in the irresponsible behavior as well.

If it is all true you cannot turn back the clock. But you can get educated and find out what the best course of action that everyone needs to get on the same page with. The ultimate goal in being that your grandchild is born healthy.

And maybe you should consider getting yourself some counseling in order to help you through all this. I know that I would be so overwhelmed that I would seek counseling.

Toni..........lot's and lot's of thoughts and prayers coming your way.........
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


Caregiverx3<3
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 197
   Posted 6/7/2008 11:12 PM (GMT -7)   
OK Toni,
You've gotten everyones attention. I know we will all follow this thread, so please try and stay on this one so some of us don't lose you. Even us caregivers lose track. Our opinions don't count for much, but I'm sure everyone here will give you all the support we can. As much care as I'm giving now, I sure wouldn't want to be in your situation and I am sorry that Miss Thang has done this to you and your Will.
Will is 22 yo and following her thing (as my husband would say) and she is smart enough to take advantage of the whole situation. I know that when she put that pregnancy test in front of you, your whole perspective changed. You have to stay in control and in charge if you want to care for you Will. Can you get in touch wih her parents and tell them what's going on, or are they just as bad?
I realize we don't really know anything about each other, but people are basically the same. You are as much of a caring person as I am and people will take advantage of that. If she is truly pregnant, you have rights as the grandparent. Will has rights as the father. The baby has a right to be born healthy. Find out first, somehow, if she is really pregnant. If they get married, will she receive some Social Security even if Will is never eligible, at this point? 
Please don't get me wrong. I am concerned about the baby, if there is one, and I truly pray she/he wil be born healthy and happy!

Carol


 

Post Edited (Caregiverx3<1) : 6/8/2008 12:16:01 AM (GMT-6)


mom's "will" to live
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 111
   Posted 6/9/2008 9:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello All,
 Thank you so much for your responces. Of course I've been very busy this weekend stressing out and trying to read as much info as I can to help educate these two Adult Children.
Dansbrother, I understood what u were saying Thank You! I did endeed get a chuckle it is so better to laugh than cry! I was really hoping I was reading this young lady wrong but, I definately have her #! The only thing now is biting my tongue so as I don't alienate my son. HE IS IN LOVE!
I talked to the kids Friday evening and  supposidly nono it was an accident. They have assured me they have been useing safe sex but, the balloon broke! Okay,so she didn't go and get morning after pill, Miss has been off BC Pill since last month she said she could not afford it. Will did not know she stopped it. She has only missed 5days of cycle, she's been on pill sence she was 14. She knew what she was doing !Her new insurance picks up in 3 weeks! I know this because she has infection in tooth and went to ER  last Sat. but, didn't  go fill her prescription for antibiotics cuz she was waiting for ins. to kick in. She is only working part time now, I did tell her she needed to go back to full time. I let her and Will know that I was very disappointed at them both and the way Miss presented this to me was very uncool! She started YELLING at me!  I said to her that she had been making comments in front of me and telling everyone she wanted to have a baby. I stopped her with younglady this is exactley what your mother was warning me, us about was your inmaturaty and the fact you getting pregnant would be your next move! Miss has issues with her parents, they DO NOT approve of this marriage and told her it's nothing against Will it's that she would not be able to have a family and she was walking in front of a speeding bullet staying with him, that Will is being selfish and how could he knowing he could die and leave her a widow at such a young age! Think they are trying to prove something!  We cannot understand why they cannot wait! Atleast til the wedding they are engaged! I guess time will tell us how far along and such she is. But, as of right now I am the only parent that knows and that's hard as hell on me! I'm scared not only for my son as this will cause him stress worrying about her and the baby along with I've done some research and was brutely honest with them about the what IF's! We can sit here and do the woulda coulda shouldas but, that ain't gonna do no good now! I did tell them both that I wanted to be happy and I want to be excited about being a Grandma but, can't seem to get there yet! When I know all will be okay! I told her to go and apply for S.S. and medicaid. Yes, mother and the baby will be taken care of. We have a apt. in 2 weeks for CT and u all know the drill so hopefully Dr. will give us some insight on this matter and help these two get on top of the issues! I will keep you posted on the Drama!!! Again Thank you all for being so supportive!
Huggs and Smooches to All!
Toni

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 6/9/2008 11:15 AM (GMT -7)   

Toni, it's good to hear from you.  I'm glad you were able to sit down with the couple and talk some sense to them.  Let me get this straight:  She was only 5 days late on her cycle when she took the test, or is 5 days late now?  I suspect it was when she took the test, and I know that they do show positive or negative much earlier now than "in my day."

What you didn't mention is whether Miss is going to get tested for hep B.  If she is, indeed, pregnant, she will get Medicaid.  My daughter has been on it since she was pregnant with my g'daughter--17 years.  However, if Miss has other insurance kicking in soon, she could possibly be denied because of that...or it would be primary coverage and Medicaid would be secondary.  Also, if she goes back to work full time, she would probably not be able to get Medicaid as she would be "over income."

Try not to stress yourself out over this too much, Toni.  When do they plan to tell HER parents?

Hugs,

Connie


mom's "will" to live
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 111
   Posted 6/13/2008 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello All,
           I'm doing the HAPPY DANCE!!! yeah yeah yeah I am Not going to be a grandma Yet! I think miss needed a little attention and she got ours this week! She went and got her blood test done negative for virus yeah and NEGATIVE for pregnancy yeah   yeah She worried Wil and I both for no reason as she fibbed about skipping her cycle it was irregular this month and it probably had to do with her coming off the pill last month. Now the drama is she's mad that Wil is not upset that she's not having a baby! I'm thinking because of her insecurities she's tried to get pregnant on purpose! Wil did however tell her that if she was pregnant he would have been happy  but, that she is not there is no sence in getting himself sick because she's not! And, he did tell her to get back on the pill and after they are married and a little more financialy secured they will try to have a baby. I knew my manchild was a little more responcible than that! Thank you all for letting me vent and share my woooooosssss with you all, as it is very hard to talk about these things with just anyone they just don't understand what we are all dealing with. HOPE ALL IS WELL! Thoughts and Prayers are with you!
Huggs and Smooches
Toni

Caregiverx3<3
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 197
   Posted 6/13/2008 3:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Happy! Happy! Happy! Now, buy Will a case of condoms.

Still though, she is always going to be Miss Drama Queen.

The relief does feel good, doesn't it? Hope you have a relaxful week-end.

Carol
 


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 6/13/2008 3:23 PM (GMT -7)   

Wonderful news!!!  So good to hear this, Toni.  But I'll bet she hasn't had the first of the hep B vaccinations yet!  She needs to be pushed to do this.  And I absolutely think that she tried to get pregnant on purpose.

Hugs,

Connie


Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 6/13/2008 3:50 PM (GMT -7)   
What a sigh of relief huh Toni? I have a son myself so I have been there done that. tongue Have a great evening......
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


Caregiverx3<3
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 197
   Posted 6/14/2008 8:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Toni,

I saw your post on Sue's thread.  cool   Way to take charge Mom! You rock!

Carol

 


 

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