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Judith
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 9/16/2008 4:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I am feeling very sorry for myself today and feel like I'm having a MELTDOWN!!!!  They keeping demanding more and more from me and I don't know how much more I can take.  My husband is the sick one and I feel like I'm the one being punished, pitiful isn't it "poor me". I'm sorry to dump on you but needed to get these feelings out yeah .  Today's letter from the hospital has six more things that have to be done, more test's (never ending) I don't have a life all I do is chauffer my husband to AA meeting's, doctors offices and endless trips to the hospital, I am so tired and so lonely. Whats the name of that old Peggy Lee song "Is that all their is?"  Sometimes I feel like that,
 
 
Judith

cordovian
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 9/16/2008 5:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Sweetie............bless your heart. It may not make you feel better, but just to know that someone ELSE is walking in the same exact shoes you're walking. That would be......ME.....except my S/O is attempting to NOT receive medical care. He just keeps drinking...........You are at the correct site for great support group.
I personally do not have any answers for you........just because of my current situation..........but many people here can help guide you and help you.

GOD SPEED...........MiMi in Memphis

Butterflythree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 954
   Posted 9/16/2008 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Judith, My husband is not at the transplant stage yet, but I do know how you feel when it comes to being lonely. When my husband's encephalopathy was bad, I felt so alone and afraid. I have come here many times feeling sorry for myself. It is normal, so don't feel bad about it. We all have a meltdown every once in awhile. There is only so much a person can take. Try to take time for yourself if possible. If it is only a bubble bath or something like that. Also pray. It really does work.

You will be in my prayers.
Butterflythree
 
There is always hope!


Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 9/16/2008 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Judith and Mimi, Sorry your feeling so used and abused. Been there done that. It sounds to me that you both could use a little battery recharging. Take a little walk, read a magazine, take a bubble bath just any little thing to help you clear your brain for a while. You need to take little breaks every day if you can. Believe me, I know how hard it is trying to squeeze them in but for your own health and well being you need to take care of you also.

My heart goes out to the both of you. Caregiving is one of the hardest jobs there is .........especially for such a devastating disease. I felt the same way and I am sure every caregiver here on this forum feels it too. sad

Come here and vent anytime.........that's what we are here for......helping each other get through a very tough time.

Lot's of thoughts and prayers...............
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


mer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 613
   Posted 9/16/2008 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Judith and Mimi.....I completely understand what you are going through. Believe me, I have my meltdown moments, too!! Last month, my husband was in the hospital and his encephalopathy was sooooo bad, and some pretty horrible things happened because he was absolutely out of it. I had to "get out of sight" because he was trying to leave the hospital, etc...and I remember sitting out in the lobby, and I looked around, and realized I was by myself, and just finally broke down and had a good old cry....a cry that I had not had in a long time!!! There are times when I feel guilty about trying to do something for myself, but for my own sanity....need to!!! I am having dinner with a dear friend in a couple of days...no husbands, children, etc....and I cannot wait!!! Even just for a couple of hours, it will be nice to get out and laugh! So, find time to laugh, because we need to.....hang in there, and know that we are walking that walk with you.....literally!!!

Mer

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 9/16/2008 9:08 PM (GMT -7)   

Judith, is there any way you can get an afternoon off from everything?  Go see a movie or meet a friend for lunch?  It's so important to take care of YOU...or burnout/meltdown is inevitable.

Talking about those interminable hospital visits, reminded me when I was going to Mayo so much for blood work, scans, meetings with oncologists, etc.  I told one of the volunteers I should just pitch a tent because I was there so much.  I've also been in the role of caregiver, some years ago, when my b.f.'s mother who had terminal colon cancer came to live with us.  It's extremely stressful.  So please do try to get out and do something to take your mind off everything for a few hours!  Otherwise, resentment is guaranteed.

Big hugs,

Connie


frustrated_n_wv
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 469
   Posted 9/17/2008 3:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Judith

You have a right to feel sorry for all the things that are out of your control and sometimes just expressing it all helps. Please try and take all the advice you have gotten and take care of yourself, even the little things can make such a difference. As the "sickie" in the house and not the care giver, I can tell you that sometimes we get so self-absorbed that we don't realize or see what this disease does to the ones we love and are around us. Thank you all for reminding me to be more thankful to those that are always there for me.

Lucy

Judith
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 9/17/2008 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for understanding, your the only one's that do!

Judith
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