PinkGrandma My father passed away....

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carolynvb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 540
   Posted 9/22/2008 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I just wanted to thank you for some kind words you offered.  I am a member of the healingwell board on lyme/ms but came asking questions regarding my fathers health.  He was an alcoholic and lived in the UK.  I had made my peace with him and called him most every day if not every other for the last 3 years. 
 It all ended so sad.  He passed away July 10th on his own.  He refused to go to hospital or have treatment of any kind.  He tended to the pain with more alcohol.  He was unable to look after himself and his wife (step mother) had to leave as he became so verbally abusive and she has a 14 year old.....I knew it was going to be a short time until he passed on after that. He could not eat and the phone calls became quite strange as I listened to him become confused more and more...most everyone was called my name which leads me to beleive that he thought about me alot and did mention I would be the only one to miss him when he died. I do understand  why his wife left but it was so hard. She still went back each day to tend to him . I am so ill and have a 7 month old baby and 3 other children so could not be there for him and begged him to allow help or at least take medications and let a dr visit.
 
  Law has it so that he had so many rights there was nothing we could do to make him go to hospital it was still his free will to stay at home.  I know he must have been in terrible pain and was falling so much he ended up with 4 broken ribs. My heart is so broken.  He passed away July 10th and there has been a huge hole in my heart since.  I plan to visit the UK and bury his ashes when I can pull together some money to do so.
 
 For anyone reading this who is an alcoholic, I know it must be a nightmare to stop drinking.  I know you can do it.  The nightmare it leaves behind if you do not stop is far worse. I have lost my father, my children a grandfather. I still pick up the phone to call many times and realize he is no longer there for me to talk to.  His death brought so many emotions from different family members and I had to spend the first few weeks defending him so really had no time to greive. All I ever wanted was to know him for who he was not what he became after drinking. For whatever reason we built our relationship and made it stronger following my brain tumor and lyme disease diagnosis... I am so thankful.
 I made sure at his funeral I mentioned that in life no one is perfect but in death perfection is absolute.... For all of you walking the path of being the caretaker, family member or the patient.  I send you my prayers.  I know the pain of living the illness in life and losing the loved one with their passing.
 
God Bless...
 
Once again thank you PG for your kind words when I needed a shoulder it was a long time ago but I never forgot.
 
Carolyn

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 9/23/2008 12:54 PM (GMT -7)   
((((Carolyn)))).........I am so sorry that your father passed away.    I know how terribly sad you must be.   There's nothing I can say to take the pain away ........just know that I will be praying for you.  If you would like to email me it's in my profile....
 
Lot's of thoughts and prayers........... 
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


Butterflythree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 954
   Posted 9/23/2008 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Carolyn, I am so sorry to hear about your father's struggle with alcohol and his death. I know it must have been so hard for you to see your father slipping away from you. My husband is an alcoholic also. He stopped drinking approximately 2 years ago when he was diagnosed with cirrhosis. I understand what a family goes through when a loved one has the terrible disease of alcoholism. Your father is in a much better place now, where he will no longer have to deal with the disease or the pain that it causes.

Again, I am so sorry for your lose. You will be in my prayers.
Butterflythree
 
There is always hope!

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