Husband and liver cancer

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cajunred
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/13/2008 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
cry  My name here is cajunred and I am new to this Healingwell site and am so impressed with the information and love given here and was so comforted reading the posts that i decided to join.  My husband of 5 years was diagnosed with colon cancer 2 years ago which spread to the liver and is now in the final stages of this horrible disease. you  have no idea how aweful it is to watch someone you love with all your heart deteriorate slowly with this cancer.  Our "talk" with the doctor was brutal, they were in his face and said "you are dying and there is nothing we can do for you."  and so we joined hospice and they were truely wonderful with all kinds of services that will help.  his legs and stomach are swollen and he is very weak and eats just a little each day. i do not know how long we have but all the hugs and kisses i can get is so badly needed.
any info on how to make my husbands life easier would be so appreciated.  this is truely the most painful thing i have ever been through.  thank you for listening.
cajunred

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/13/2008 10:26 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi, Cajunred, and welcome to the forum!  I am sooo sorry that your husband has a terminal illness.  That has to be very hard on both of you.  That doctor certainly didn't have much of a bedside manner!  However, most people do want the prognosis given to them straight.  Many docs just dance around it.  Where was your husband seen and did he receive any treatment?  Colon surgery?

I am happy to hear that you have called in Hospice.  They are really wonderful at what they do, and will be a big support for you, too.  They deal with this sort of thing day in and day out, so I'm sure they will have some wonderful suggestions for you.

I am a liver cancer survivor...16 months cancer free now.  However, mine was a primary cancer, whereas your husband's is metastatic.  My cancer was caused from hepatitis C, and it did metastasize to the inferior vena cava, rendering the tumor inoperable when I was first diagnosed.  However, I got a new treatment at Mayo which shrunk the tumor and also the metastasized part back into the tumor.  Then they were able to operate, and took the entire right lobe of the liver.  I know that ordinarily they only use that study drug for metastatic liver cancer, so I was very fortunate to get it and even more so to have it work. 

Each person is an individual case, so I don't know if anything could've been done for your husband or not, or if he did receive treatment.  Also, I'm not a doctor or nurse.

From my own experience, I can tell you that I certainly appreciate each day more, even the not-so-good ones.  So cherish each moment you have together.

You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 



Hugs,
Connie
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
 
Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

Post Edited (hep93) : 10/13/2008 11:29:45 AM (GMT-6)


Butterflythree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 954
   Posted 10/13/2008 6:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cajunred, and welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have already been doing everything you can to make things easier for your husband. I hear that hospice is really good. I just spoke with a person today whose mother passed away from cancer on Sept 28. She said when they had hospice come in it was really helpful to the family and her mother. They were able to give the family support and keep her mother as comfortable as possible. Hospice also paid for some of the medications and are continuing to check up on the family since her mother's passing. I am so sorry that your husband and you are going through this. You will be in my prayers.
Butterflythree
 
There is always hope!


frustrated_n_wv
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 469
   Posted 10/14/2008 3:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Cajunred

An added welcome to the forum. I too am so sorry that your husband and your family are having to endure this illness but I certainly agree that hospice will be such a support for you. Our family used hospice when my father passed away several years ago and they were wonderful with his care and mine. May you enjoy each day that you have with your husband and you both will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Lucy

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 10/14/2008 6:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cajunred and a big WELCOME to HealingWell, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Been there and done that, and know how scared and stressed that you must be. Just take it one day at a time and try to find something happy in each day. I used to take short walks out side to try and clear my head. So many different things to think about during that time.... that you need a little down time every day.

Take care.......thoughts and prayers.......
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


cajunred
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/14/2008 7:04 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband had colon surgery where they removed part of his colon (Aug 2006) and then he had 2 years of chemo, the last being Jan 2008. He did try chemo x2 for other cancers as a last resort but it made him sooooooo sick he doesn't want any more chemo. i guess now my question is every drop he drinks goes to his legs and his legs are too heavy for him to lift up stairs or in the car etc. so should he drink fluids to keep his kidneys from failing and then increase his swelling or cut back on fluids to stop swelling??/ This disease is so horrible. I had no idea and unless you walk through it most people do not realize how hideous this disease or any disease is.
thank you Connie for clarification, I am just soooooooooo sensitive right now. I did misunderstand and am glad it got straight. and WOW cancer survivor!!!!! WOW WOW WOW. Praise God.
more later,
cajunred

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/14/2008 11:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Cajun (mind if I shorten it?),
 
Is your husband on diuretics?  I had terrible swelling for a long time, made worse by hip replacement surgery.  When the feet blow up, it is sooo painful.  I would have my helper massage my feet and legs.  The way to do this is to use the thumbs to apply pressure, then use a down and up motion.  Do this all the way up from the feet through the calves.  It helps to relieve the discomfort.  The liver surgery P.A. gave me these instructions.  I still take Lasix 40 mg/day and Aldactone 100 mg/day to eliminate swelling.
 
In answer to your question about fluid intake:  Some doctors restrict it and others want patients to drink a lot of water.  Salt restriction is imperative!
 
Regular chemotherapy that goes through the blood stream--either IV or orally--does not work on liver cancer!  That is why they did chemoembolization on me and then the TheraSphere (form of targeted radiation.)  At this point, your husband probably isn't a candidate for these treatments.  Also, if he gets any kind of treatment beyond palliative (things to help him feel better, such as diuretics and pain meds), Hospice will not see him.
 
My thoughts and prayers go out to you.  You have a good support system here, and Hospice will also be there for you.


Hugs,
Connie
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
 
Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

Post Edited (hep93) : 10/14/2008 5:37:09 PM (GMT-6)


Butterflythree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 954
   Posted 10/14/2008 3:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Cajunred, I agree. Most people don't realize how hideous this disease is. When we got the diagnosis I knew it was not good, but I didn't realize all that can come along with it. I was really fortunate to find this site. I also research on the internet. It has helped me tremendously. You continue to be in my prayers.
Butterflythree
 
There is always hope!


cajunred
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 11/21/2008 10:52 AM (GMT -7)   
cry  I wanted to thank you all for such support for a time like this.  my husband did pass away Nov 5 and it was a bittersweet time.  many told me that dying people somtimes reject those closest to them, by my precious husband held tight to me all the way to heaven.  and so the hard part begins trying to carve a life for myself without him.  thank you  all, this is truly a wonderful web site.  God blessings to you.
cajunred

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 11/21/2008 2:05 PM (GMT -7)   

{{{{{{{Cajunred}}}}}}  I am so sorry for your loss.  I know it must be a very difficult time for you.  Please take comfort in knowing that your husband is not suffering now and is at peace.

Feel free to post at any time.  You could be helpful to someone else who is now going through what you did with your husband.

My prayers are with you.


Hugs,
Connie
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
 
Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll


Butterflythree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 954
   Posted 11/21/2008 9:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Cajunred, My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for what you both have had to endure. I will pray that God gives you the strength to pick up the pieces of your life and move on. I know that it won't be easy, but remember, God is always there for you. Lean on him. He won't let you down.
Butterflythree
 
There is always hope!


Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 11/22/2008 9:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Cajun Red, please accept my sincere condolences on the passing of your dear husband...... I know it's a very sad and difficult time. And your right........once you are done grieving you will start to carve a new life out for your self. I'm doing that now.

Please come back when your able........... you have so much knowledge to share..........

Thoughts and prayers...........
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


mer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 613
   Posted 11/22/2008 9:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Cajun Red-

I am soo sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Please take comfort in knowing that he is in a place where he is no longer suffering, and is healthy and whole. You take care of yourself. We will love to hear from you when you are able......

God Bless,

Mer
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