Hello Sanorlie and welcome to HealingWell. Please accept my sincere condolences on your husband's passing. Mine too, passed away in April of 2007 from ESLD. So believe me, I have a good idea on your feelings right now. Hang in there....it's dark right now but just take it one day at a time and eventually you will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are not alone in this overwhelming grief......others here have experienced it too.
This site helped me through it.........so you are invited to come visit anytime time you feel the need to. I joined HealingWell about 5 months before my husband died.... I lurked for about 2 weeks just reading everyone's posts...when I finallly got up the nerve to post myself and someone answered my post......I actually cried. Then after my husband died I just mostly lurked for another couple of months........Then I started posting again.....I found out that my experiences with dealing with ESLD, even though it was over, could still help others going through it. Even though my husband lost his battle with it.....he hasn't died in vain......I am making sure of that.
Take care......thoughts and prayers......
When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.