Right now we are legally separated and I am not in support of a divorce as I believe that his condition warrants our need to try harder. Our marriage was sort of having some difficulties (extenuating circumstances) but not anything that I ever felt would separate us. All I've been able to reason is that somehow all of this is interrelated with the diagnosis and his condition. Kind of a long story on the marriage issues but really, up until October '08 our marriage has been beautiful though normal in many ways.
I wish I knew what meds he's taking so I can't say if there are diuretics involved or not right now. I think there were at the beginning but I just do not know right now. I do know that his doc initially prescribed blood pressure medicine and if I remember the report correctly it was for portal hypertension. Guess we can add that problem to his list too. He tell tell me once that if he were to drink again it could kill him instantly. What I worry about with the kids is whether something to happen to him while they are with him. I'm working out on educating our son about how to contact 911, me, etc.
I think he has for the most part stopped drinking though I do know of one time where he drank in January but not sure of any other episodes. He is like night and day sometimes and even the kids notice. He's fine one minute and the next he's snapping someone's head off which is usually mine but not always. I think he is beginning to recognize that it is the illness but he has a hard time controlling it. I've just been convincing myself that it is the illness or perhaps the undiagnosed bi-polar which caused him to drink in the first place as a form of self-medication. He really is a good man aside from what the illness(es) is doing and I want to see him through this and know that he doesn't have to go through this alone.
I want to help him in whatever way it is that I need to be it to take over his care, walk with him in his care, whatever. I just do not know where to start. I've been reading and reading. This website has been the first that I have found where I might find some help to get through this. I've been leaning on God to carry me through this as I am really confounded on how when someone really ought to need his family the most that we can be rejected at the very same time.
I guess what I need to know are what signs can I look for from a "distance" that will clue me into whether I need to urge him to go to the doctor sooner or later? He won't let me touch him. I've seen him itching again. Last spring he developed a terrible condition with sores on his legs and arms and none of those docs clued us into a liver problem they were looking at MRSA or follicilitis.
I just want to figure out how I can help him if I can and if he'll let me. We need him and we love him a lot. After reading some of the ed posts, it seems as he has more of the symptoms to watch than not though I don't have access to the labs to confirm or the close physical proximity to see how weak he really is or to watch his discharges. I do know he is having memory problems as he uses GPS to get around town and is using appt reminders to make sure he gets to football practice on time and such. His short term memory appears to be getting worse too.
This is really frustating as I'm sure you can imagine. He could probably get better care if I were at the dr. appt with him. Yes, this certainly appears to be a unusual and difficult situation to say the least.