FTLOM, I am sooo sorry for your loss. However, I implore you not to second-guess yourself as to getting Hospice involved. It's doubtful that he would have lived longer with or without hospice involvement. Even with Lactolose, he likely would have reached a point where it was not working and would've gone into a coma anyway. That is usually what happens with ESLD. In order for Hospice to take over, the doctor has to state that the patient is not expected to live longer than 6 mos. Hospice will not accept anyone who is still receiving treatment. They give palliative treatment only; i.e., pain meds or other things to make the patient more comfortable. They are usually a great help to the family and the patient. Just as with any organization, there are bad apples I'm sure. You could have gotten involved with some person or a particular hospice that wasn't as sensitive as they should have been. But know that you did what you thought was the best for him.
I know you must miss your husband terribly. How long was it from diagnosis to his death? I get the feeling that it wasn't a long time, or that he suddenly took a turn for the worse and was gone.
Please don't beat up on yourself. Your husband is at peace now and would want you to come to terms with his illness and death. The people here who have gone through losing a loved one will support you. It's a little slow on the weekend, but believe me they will respond.
Shiva, it's good to know that you are still looking in here. How are you doing, sweetie? You sound like you have come to some kind of peace about your dad's death. You can be so much help to those here still going through it. So please come back when you can.
Hi Fortheloveofmarc, I lost my husband to liver cancer on January 26th 2009. It's very hard to go on at times. I visited his grave yesterday and it's still very hard and I miss him very much. But I truly believe God does not make mistakes and we have to have the faith and strenght to go on. I'm fortunate to have 3 wonderful adult kids and 8 grandchildren to keep me going and way too may mother hens. Please don't feel guilty about what has happened. The one thing I remember most going thru this whole horrible time, was every day was a new day, you didn't know what was going to happen and sometimes it was each hour or each minute, things change so much. Our story was crazy just like others here, long story short, Jerry found out in Aug 07 he had hep c and cir, Oct 07 he had a transplant after being on lifesupport for 8 days, then in Apr or May we found out about the Cancer. Find you a grief support group or something, your husband would not want you to stop living. Me, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do, but I know I will be OK. Take care