Allie, I am so very sorry that you are in the middle of such a mess, and that your mom continues to drink. I am not at all familiar with laws or help available in the U.K. I hope someone here has some suggestions for you.
Post Edited (Darkies Gem) : 6/30/2009 2:12:56 AM (GMT-6)
when my mum has been falling it is usually caused by her excessive drinking. she is not good on her feet at the best of times, the alcohol addiction has taken everything including her dignity. almost two years ago i was told that she only had about 16% of her liver functioning properly. i have given up asking her to stop drinking, cause even when she is drunk she says she has not touched a drop. no normal person can take the amount of vodka she can and still function. sometimes i feel i hate her...sounds terrible she does not need me , never been a mother to me for years has two granchildren who love her but she never wants to see them. but i can't walkaway. i feel a failure as a daughter. i went to alanon a few times , but trying to get the time is just terrible.
my mum is in complete denial i know whats coming, i know she wont stop, cant stop. now i pray that she does not have to suffer anymore i feel my daughters young life has been taken over by hospitals and visits to her (which are never pleasant), so i feel as if i am waiting for her to die to put us all out of our miserymost of all herself as she is in constant pain all the time. is that really bad thinking that cause i feel bad
Gemma- my mum never calls or visits the doctor. she would not admit to not managing. she does not attend any appointments once out of the hospital. i cannot force her. she thinks i am a little miss know it all (i am 43), the last three times she has been in hospital they did not think she would pull through. her seizuires were lasting up to an hour they treated it as a medical emergency.when she contracted c dif, she was so ill and she was very lucky to pull through, after 6 weeks in hospital she was drinking after a day. thanksfor the advice on the yakult. sometimes she does not eat for days, then she calls out for indians, mcdonalds. i have seen loads of advice on what kind of fdiet she should be on and all the dos and don'ts. she does not listen. sorry i am ranting again.........
Allie, my own mother was very much like yours. She was a falling-down drunk for many years and never took advantage of AA or other treatment...never made a commitment to it. Would go for a couple of meetings at AA, make friends with someone still drinking and they would become drinking buddies. That was her AA experience. Counseling she only went to a couple of times and quit. She hurt me so much during my younger years (I was raised by my grandparents for my first 10 yrs., and then for another year when I was 13.) Her mind was totally gone by the time I was in my late 30s. She didn't want her "young boyfriend" of 21 to know she had adult children, much less grandchildren and great-grandchildren. As if he couldn't tell how old she really was. He was an addict who was out for her money...and got it. I finally just broke off communication with her. I was in FL and she was in NY at the time, so it was a bit easier because of that. But I would have done it even if we were still in the same city. I just couldn't take any more from her. I totally understand your anger and your feelings towards her. I've never regretted my decision. I do regret that she never chose to get sober and have a relationship with me and my sister and our children. I regret that she was never the mother I wanted her to be and it has affected my relationship with my own daughter. I feel a lot of sorrow over that. But it was her choice to continue drinking. At the end, she didn't even know her own name.
I just wanted to share my experience with you. Your feelings are not bad nor are they unusual for someone in your position. You may not be able to do what I did...that is something you will have to decide for yourself. But I wanted you to know that there is someone here who totally understands your feelings and I don't think you are a bad person at all.
Darkies Gem, thank you for the information you were able to provide. It could be, Allie, that you will need to have her declared a danger to herself and others.
Post Edited (hep93) : 7/1/2009 1:40:24 PM (GMT-6)