Grama quit talking, I think it's getting close....can someone tell me if it is?

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ShesMyGrama
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/14/2009 1:12 PM (GMT -7)   
I wish I had found this earlier. My Grama was diagnosed about 8 weeks ago with terminal liver disease. She is 90, but was still very active and lucid. We put her in a rehab for 2 weeks and it wasn't helping so we brought her home. There are 5 generations of women at my moms house right now taking care of her. It's my Grama, she's the one sick, her Daughter, my Mom, Me, My Daughter, and my Granddaughter...she's 10. Anyway, Grama went from eating and doing ok last week, to talking out of her head, to not being able to get out of bed to now not being able to talk, eat, get out of bed or anything. We are not having to use a suction machine because she is caughing so bad. She refused all her medicine when they told her she was terminal, so 8 weeks ago she quit taking them all. Her stumic is swollen, today the hospice put in a cathiter, we were having to change her diaper or try to get her up...I'm sure this sounds like rambling and I know most of it is. Being the middle of this 5 generations, my mom has some health issues so we have to not let her do alot. My daughter is here helping, but she has a little one and has to deal with that, so I have been taking the overnight duty...and I can understand what everyone is saying about being exhausted... but I wouldn't not be doing this for anything. I Really just wanted to know what to expect at the end. We are keeping her sedated at this point, she starts panicking when she can't breath and so the medicine seams to help. We all talk to her, rub her hands and arms or just sit with her and talk or sing...but no one seams to tell us what to expect. With my Granddaughter being here I would like to have a little heads up. We do have Hospice and they are awsome, I would like to also extend my prayers to everyone on here that is going thru this and to those who have lost loved ones... God Bless and Keep you, May He Give you Peace and Keep Your Memories allways Joyfull....

For SugarBear
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/14/2009 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
ShesMyGrama,
I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
I was with my mother till the end. I wouldn't trade that time with her for anything no matter how exhausted I got.
Some things we watched for were places on her backside that looked like bruises, the blood is pooling due to decreased circulation. Watch her fingernails and toenails, they may begin to turn bluish.
Just keep talking to her and loving her. Assure her its okay to go "home" and that everything will be fine. Be sure to do a lot of touching and talking. It sound like you all do that now.
Keep us posted. God bless.
Debbie(For Sugarbear)

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 7/14/2009 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   

ShesMyGrama, I know it must be hard, but be consoled by the fact that she's had a long life and seems to be at peace with passing on.  It's likely that she will slip into a coma at the end and just pass quietly.  Hospice may give her a little morphine to help her at the end.  They really are wonderful and I'm glad that you have them involved.  They are the best at predicting when the end is near, so talk with them.  That's why they're there...more for the family than the patient, in all reality.

Your Grama is a lucky lady to have so many loving helping hands in her final days.

God bless you and your family.

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


BarbL64
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 7/14/2009 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello,

I'm sorry about your gramma. Since she stopped taking the medication I'm assuming her ammoinia level has gotten very high. That is probably part of the reason why she doesn't talk any more. The toxin from protiens that built up in her intestines are stopping her from communicating and using her hands and legs. I would imagine that her kidneys are probably also starting to shut down. I know it isn't easy but the hospice folks will keep her heavly medicated because of the pain of her organs shutting down. It doesn't sound like it shouldn't be much longer.

hang in there her suffering will end and she will be someplace where there is no pain.

ShesMyGrama
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/15/2009 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for everyone that has sent a reply..you have been a God send to me and my family.  I have gotten my Mom and Daughter on here and they have both been reading the replys and the other posts.  We had the Hospice nurse out today and she said because Grama isn't eating or drinking, and she isn't putting out very much urine that it could be as long as 2 weeks, but she didn't think it would even be 1 week.  So we are calling some of the family today and letting them know.  At this point I know all we can do is keep her comfortable and out of pain....and remember all the fun times we have had in our lives with her.  We have been reminising together and reminding her of the times, even though she isn't talking.  Wow this is just so hard!!!  Thank you for giving me someplace to just ramble...God Bless you ALL!
 
Candi
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass....it's about learning to dance in the rain!"

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 7/15/2009 2:54 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi, Candi.  I'm glad that you spoke with hospice.  As I said in my previous post, they are very knowledgeable about the dying process.  I know they will be of great help and comfort to your family.  I know how hard it is to let someone go that you love.  I lost my favorite aunt last Dec. and was with her at the end.

God bless you and your family.

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


ShesMyGrama
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/15/2009 7:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Grama is gone.  I went to church at 630, had everyone praying that she would pass peacefully, got a text to come home and she was gone as I walked in the house.  It was fast, she just stopped breathing.  She was very rattly the last 2 days.  I am so grateful that I found this site, we thought we had time, if I hadn't found this I wouldn't have known it was so close.  God Bless you all and I will keep you in my prayers.
 
Candi
 
 

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 7/15/2009 9:48 PM (GMT -7)   

Candi, I am so sorry.  However, I'm glad that your granma passed peacefully.  She was ready and knew you all loved her.

Wishing you peace and many blessings,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


child4
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 107
   Posted 7/16/2009 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Be proud of your strength and how you cared for her, she sure is proud of you for it all.  Be at peace. 

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 7/16/2009 10:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Candy I am so sorry for your loss.   I am glad you found us in time also.   Having a loved one die at home is very stressful at the time.  Now, for me I look back and have peace for what I was able to do for my husband.   
 
Your family and you, gave your grama the ultimate gift of love.   She left this world surrounded by love.  
 
Take care..........thoughts and prayers...........
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


ShesMyGrama
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/21/2009 2:18 AM (GMT -7)   
We are all still at loose ends. Our days were so filled with taking care of Grama it will take a while to know what to do now. As you can see it is the middle of the night and I'm up. This was my time with Grama, I guess I'm like a child I have my days and nights mixed up now. I'm going to have to try and get them turned around again. I sure do miss my Grama...Thank you again for all the kind words of encouragement, and my prayers and thougnts are with you all...God Bless!!

Candi

moonroe
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 7/21/2009 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Candi, I am so sorry to hear about your Grandma.I watched my father pass from Cancer,so I know how difficult it is. Just know that she is not suffering anymore and is at peace.You are in my thoughts and prayers and I know you can get through this difficult time. Mimi
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