Hello and welcome! I am very sorry about your mom. You can get her court-ordered detox and inpatient treatment through the Myers Act. It is specifically for alcoholics who are a danger to their own health and have lost control over their drinking. Once she is sober, she can be encouraged to get medical help...but no adult can be forced to do that. Do a Google search and you will find a lot of info on the Myers Act. You can call your County Clerk's office and ask how you go about initiating the Myer's Act. I believe you will need 2 doctors to testify that she is a danger to herself. I think your mom is too far gone for an intervention to work. If you are unwilling to use the Myers Act on her, there is really nothing you can do to stop her from drinking and harming herself.
Post Edited (hep93) : 7/26/2009 3:21:14 PM (GMT-6)
I am really not sure if Myer's is only for FL. However, you could call your county clerk office tomorrow and ask them. I would think that most states would have something similar. If you could get her to an ER, perhaps one of their doctors could get the ball rolling as far as doing something similar. Hopefully, when she is passed out you can get her to the ER. But go ahead and try to find out if there is some kind of law that could be used to get her help.
I know that it's very difficult to get help for someone who doesn't want it. There is another Act--the Baker Act-- that is similar to Myers, but not limited to alcoholics. It is for anyone who is a danger to themselves or others. I believe that one is nationwide. When my sister tried to enact that to get our mom help in NY, my mother's doctor let her know what was being done to have her Baker-acted and she hit the roof. She thought my sister was just trying to get her house, which is the last thing my sister wanted. Mom never did get help, but was in a NH home when she died, so I'm assuming she had quit drinking when placed there. We lost contact.
ETA: I found some information for you that pertains to SC laws about involuntary commitment, at this link: http://www.scstatehouse.gov/code/t44c052.htm
Post Edited (hep93) : 7/26/2009 9:02:53 PM (GMT-6)
“Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."
Did you visit the link I gave above? It seems to me that SC does have laws to enable her to be committed to detox and inpatient treatment.
I can understand your throwing out glasses of wine and destroying what alcohol she had...but it doesn't work. She will somehow get more.
I hope that she becomes too sick to drink and maybe then she will get the treatment she needs.
Actually, I think you have plenty of evidence of b and c there. Her liver disease is a direct result of her alcoholism. The fact that she continues to drink in the face of it is harmful to herself. Her falling down and not being able to get up by herself is certainly incapacitating and harmful to herself. You have plenty of family testimony as to how her drinking is hurting her...and others indirectly. You may need to get a lawyer, but I honestly think you have enough evidence to have her court-ordered to detox and treatment.
I don't think the people here who are dealing with someone who continues to drink, despite what it is doing to them, are feeling very compassionate. They are just as frustrated as you are. The ones like JoAnn and BratNewton (Karen) are caregivers whose husbands have stopped drinking, and even they are worn out from the caregiving and roller coaster ride of liver disease.
Of course, you can vent here anytime you like. That is part of the purpose of this forum.
i know you are hurting right now and it does feel good to let that anger out. then you come to whats next.....
through the years i have been fullcircle and back again with my mum. she also comes from a very long line of alcoholics . its only been the last three years that her health has suffered badly. years ago she went tocouncillers, went on addiction programs, i took her to a.a. but i truly believe she just went to get everyone of her back, she did not once really say i want to stop.
i have been angry grabbed her when drunk forcing her to look in the mirror, ended up shouting all sorts of abuse but all it got me was a guilty conscience. there was a period of about a year that i hardly seen her, but i felt i could not cope if she died and i was not speaking to her. i have finally came to the conclusion that no matter how hard i try, how mad or stressed i get, that i cannot stop my mum drinking.
you can spend a lot of time worryingover your mum, exhausting yourself but even detox might not helpher if she still is in denial. try to deal with it the best you can without it takin over your life. believe me,cause i let it take over me it affected my relationship with my husband and kids and it still does to a certain extent, although i try not to.
maybe your mum will find strength one day and realise she needs help,you have been a good daughter in supporting her and when she needs help you will be there for her.
Post Edited By Moderator (Pink Grandma) : 8/3/2009 6:56:24 PM (GMT-6)
Trying, I am really glad that your mom is in the hospital and getting tested, etc. You did the right thing in letting the doctor know that she abuses alcohol. This is the reason she wants to get out of the hospital--to get a bottle. As Shelly said, let her be angry. She is where she needs to be.