Allie, are you sure your mom is being bathed and getting oral hygiene? Has she had her hair washed? How about her bathroom habits? Is she having any accidents? Other than that, I can tell you that people who are dying do have an odor about them that is very noticeable and distinct. It is literally the smell of death...of organs dying. This happens to people dying from metastatic cancer. I'm not sure about liver disease. Perhaps Shelly can answer that.
Regarding the blood flow, plaque can form in the carotid artery in the neck, reducing the flow of blood to the brain. This can also cause seizures. There is a procedure that is done when the carotid is blocked at least 85%. It is called a carotid endarterectomy. However, you mom may be too sick for such surgery.
“Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."
right now she is in the stroke ward. it does appear that she has had a stroke because she is unable to hold anything with her left hand. the smell is still there she has been bathed. her skin is heavily pigmented in various places particularly her arms and legs. she appears to have no muscles, the skin just hangs on her arms.her arams are covered in blood bruises. her stomach appears to be bloated. when she coughs which is frequent she turns a purple colour. her ct scans show no new bleeds she also got a test for the veins which was clear. nurses say they can do no more medically for her so they do not expect her to be in the hospital too long. they are not treating anything to do with the liver, just what she came in for.
i know she will go home and hit the bottle that i have accepted. no one at the hospital will look at the whole picture, but i know the truth . she thinks she is perfectly healthy cause they are letting her home. she has appointments for the osteoporosis clinic, vascular clinic, hep clinic, epilepsy clinic, she also has cataracts has one removed waiting to get the other done, but the clinics are a waste of time cause she just cancels the appointments and makes up an excuse why she cant go.
she knows i love her....
Post Edited (Gwen75) : 8/9/2009 1:24:22 PM (GMT-6)
idon't know what to do for the best. my mums partner says he cannot cope with her drinking and her seizuires, he has said numerous times that he wants her put in a home. as if it is as simple as that. he says that loads of times but then goes back on what he says. several times i have tried to sit both of them down and talk about it, my mum goes mad, he backs down and we are back to square one.
looking from my point of view i see this, its my mums house if he cannot cope with her and she refuses to go detox, care home etcthen she stays where she is it is him who must make the decision whether he stays or goes. he cannot force her out her own home.he says she is my responsibility too, but if he went i would try and get her help in, if that does not work i cant do anything she will end up falling or worse. he thinks i should get her committed. but i think thats wrong. i am so sorry venting my confusion, it really help when i can talk to others that are not involved. what in your opinion is the best i can do for her.
we always come to this point, i refuse to argue about it this time. i have arranged care workers and response teams to help her, but after a few days she sends them away. the biggest problem is her partner, dont get me wrong, he has cared for her the best he can , he has put up with and seen a lot more that i have and physically he is not able. i know he is frustated and takes it out on me but no more. i guess i want a solution but i know i am not going to get it.
Allie, does her partner drink? If not, then his actions and threats are likely just those of frustration. You were correct, though--it IS your mom's home and he is the one who needs to go if he can't handle the stress. I don't know how much he really cares for her, but if he does then there could be a lot of fear of her dying if something isn't done soon...and dying right there in the home.
You have done all you can. Just tell him you are not going to argue about it as it gets you nowhere and does nothing for your mum.
Allie, it's like Rick said, though...we have no power or control over when others will die. We may have a bit of control over our own demise, in that if we don't abuse alcohol and other drugs, eat well, etc., we can live a little longer than we otherwise might. But you have absolutely no control over whether your mom drinks or not and when she will die. That's between her and her higher power. I think you should make yourself, your own family, and your gran your priorities. Just refuse to argue with your mom's partner or with her.