any advice please

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allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 8/7/2009 3:33 PM (GMT -7)   
mum still in hospital. saw her last night she was angry, insisting she was well enough to go home. what i want to ask is my mum can be bathed, teeth cleaned etc but once she is in hospital for more than a couple of days, she starts to smell. i cant figure out whether it is her breath or her body or both. the smell is very sickly, you can smell it when you go near her. its so bad it makes me feel sick, even my clothes smell of it when i come home, i have to shower and change. when i ask the nurses, they say they say they cannot smell anything but i know i am not imagining it.
also after her seizure her left arm went limp as to indicate that she had another stroke, but it did not show up on the ct scan. they are now saying that the seizuires might be caused by restricted blood flow in the veins in her neck. could this be due to the liver function deterioating, or is it something new.

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 8/7/2009 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   

Allie, are you sure your mom is being bathed and getting oral hygiene?  Has she had her hair washed?  How about her bathroom habits?  Is she having any accidents?  Other than that, I can tell you that people who are dying do have an odor about them that is very noticeable and distinct.  It is literally the smell of death...of organs dying.  This happens to people dying from metastatic cancer.  I'm not sure about liver disease.  Perhaps Shelly can answer that.

Regarding the blood flow, plaque can form in the carotid artery in the neck, reducing the flow of blood to the brain.  This can also cause seizures.  There is a procedure that is done when the carotid is blocked at least 85%.  It is called a carotid endarterectomy.  However, you mom may be too sick for such surgery. 

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


1Shelly1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 502
   Posted 8/8/2009 10:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Allie, Connie is right on all counts. If your mom is being bathed and getting good oral care then the odor is probably from her disease. I don't know the full scope of your moms illnesses but it is possible that she has another disease proces going on. Sometimes in advanced liver disease there is an odor that is very foul. It is associated with high amonia levels among other things. If her kidneys are not working well then the build up of toxins can be secreted out of the skin and cause an odor. There are many possibilities. If you are in doubt then give your mom a bath yourself there and see if the odor disappears or not. As far as the blood flow to her neck being impaired again Connie is correct A carotid endarterectomy is what they do to repair it. It would be improbable that they would do it if she has bleeding issues or otherwise too ill to repair it surgically. The cause is plaque buildup in the artery in her neck. This is usually associated with diet. I doubt that it is related to her liver disease. Over a long period of time the fatty deposits create the plaque that blocks the blood flow to the brain. A stroke is a common problem with the plaque buildup. They call the disease "atherosclerosis". I am afraid that the condition is a new medical problem for her.
 Shelly
 

“Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."

 


allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 8/8/2009 10:20 PM (GMT 0)   

right now she is in the stroke ward. it does appear that she has had a stroke because she is unable to hold anything with her left hand. the smell is still there she has been bathed. her skin is heavily pigmented  in various places particularly her arms and legs. she appears to have no muscles, the skin just hangs on her arms.her arams are covered in blood bruises. her stomach  appears to be bloated. when she coughs which is frequent she turns  a purple colour. her ct scans show no new bleeds she also got a test for the veins which was clear. nurses say they can do no more medically for her so they do not expect her to be in the hospital too long. they are not treating anything to do with the liver, just what she came in for.

i know she will go home and hit the bottle that i have accepted. no one at the hospital will look at the whole picture, but i know the truth . she thinks she is perfectly healthy cause they are letting her home. she has appointments for the osteoporosis clinic, vascular clinic, hep clinic, epilepsy clinic, she also has cataracts has one removed waiting to get the other done, but the clinics are a waste of time cause she just cancels the appointments and makes up an excuse why she cant go.

she knows i love her....


Gwen75
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 8/8/2009 3:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Allie.
I am new to this forum, but I wanted to respond.  I hope you will not mind the interjection.
 
It is not any comfort, but the only thing you can do is to let her know how much you love her.
It is so (insert expletive here) frustrating to see the grip that alcohol has on people; even to the point of giving their lives to it.
 
I am so sorry, Allie.
Unfortunately, I can relate.
 
Know that You and your Mom are both in my prayers.
Best,
Gwen
 

allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 8/9/2009 6:30 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you Gwen, i suppose the sad thing is that a lot of people can relate to what we are going through. the good thing is on this forum is you get sufferers and carers giving advice also people who have survived their addiction, and for me that gives me comfort. i hardly tell anyone when she is back in hospital, cause its like here we go again....people are nice but unless they have been through it or something similar, then they cant relate.

Gwen75
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 8/9/2009 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Allie,
 
We do the best we can with what we have.
Hang in there.  Peace-
 
 
 
 
 
 

Post Edited (Gwen75) : 8/9/2009 1:24:22 PM (GMT-6)


Gwen75
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 8/9/2009 12:26 PM (GMT -7)   
My apologies-
 
It seems the image doesn't work.
It was just a picture of a white lily for you, Allie.
 
Best,
Gwen

allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 8/10/2009 2:42 AM (GMT -7)   

idon't know what to do for the best. my mums partner says he cannot cope with her drinking and her seizuires, he has said numerous times that he wants her put in a home. as if it is as simple as that. he says that loads of times but then goes back on what he says. several times i have tried to sit both of them down and talk about it, my mum goes mad, he backs down and we are back to square one.

looking from my point of view i see this, its my mums house if he cannot cope with her and she refuses to go detox, care home etcthen she stays where she is it is him who must make the decision whether he stays or goes. he cannot force her out her own home.he says she is my responsibility too, but if he went i would try and get her help in, if that does not work i cant do anything she will end up falling or worse. he thinks i should get her committed. but i think thats wrong. i am so sorry venting my confusion, it really help when i can talk to others that are not involved. what in your opinion is the best i can do for her.

we always come to this point, i refuse to argue about it this time. i have arranged care workers and response teams to help her, but after a few days she sends them away. the biggest problem is her partner, dont get me wrong, he has cared for her the best he can , he has put up with and seen a lot more that i have and physically he is not able. i know he is frustated and takes it out on me but no more. i guess i want a solution but i know i am not going to get it.


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 8/10/2009 9:36 AM (GMT -7)   

Allie, does her partner drink?  If not, then his actions and threats are likely just those of frustration.  You were correct, though--it IS your mom's home and he is the one who needs to go if he can't handle the stress.  I don't know how much he really cares for her, but if he does then there could be a lot of fear of her dying if something isn't done soon...and dying right there in the home.

You have done all you can.  Just tell him you are not going to argue about it as it gets you nowhere and does nothing for your mum.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 8/11/2009 12:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Connie, no her partner does not drink at all. he is 16 years older than my mum which makes him 78. he alsohas bad athsma and an aneurysm in his aortic valve which he gets scanned every couple of month. apart from that he looks well for his age. i have been saying for a long time that he is not able to lift and care for my mum, particularly when she falls and he has to drag her into bed.a few times he has called and we have went to help him. i think he loves my mum deeply and yes is scared of the future. but the two of them have been locked in a lfe of constant arguing, particularly when she is drinking, she gets nasty, he starts going on at her. it probably would have been better years ago, if he had left as the two of them bring each other down. they still have a few good times, i want to break the cycle of arguing, which i admit over the last couple of weeks i have managed. with all your support. he is not strong enough to leave, but i know he knows she is living on borrowed time. he thinks i should be able to sort it, but i cant.
i worry that one day i will walk in and find the two of them dead.my gran is in a care home oblivious (although she knows how much she drinks) to her hospital visits, i dont want her having to lose another child, she has lost two, her son died early on in the year he was an alcoholic. so rick, i try and concentrate on whats important, my children, husband and making my grans last years as happy as i can.

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 8/11/2009 2:48 PM (GMT -7)   

Allie, it's like Rick said, though...we have no power or control over when others will die.  We may have a bit of control over our own demise, in that if we don't abuse alcohol and other drugs, eat well, etc., we can live a little longer than we otherwise might.  But you have absolutely no control over whether your mom drinks or not and when she will die.  That's between her and her higher power.  I think you should make yourself, your own family, and your gran your priorities.  Just refuse to argue with your mom's partner or with her.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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