SO CONFUSED AND SCARED

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

dontknowwhattodo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 9/22/2009 1:56 AM (GMT -7)   
MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN A SEVERE ALCOHOLIC FOR SEVERAL YEARS, about 7 YEARS AGO HE WENT TO THE DOCTOR BECAUSE HE HAD HEART BURN ALL THE TIME, AT THAT TIME THEY WOULD NOT GIVE YOU THE MEDS UNTIL YOU HAD A SCOPE, SO HE HAD A SCOPE.. THE DOCTOR THEN ASKED ME IF HE WAS A HEAVY DRINKER BECAUSE HE COULD TELL FROM THE SCOPE THAT HE HAD CHIROSIS.... THEY DID TAKE BLOOD AND HIS LIVER COUNTS WERE WAY UP, SO THEY SCHEDULED A LIVER SONOGRAM... HE NEVER WENT TO THAT, AND HERE WE ARE SEVEN YEARS LATER AND TRUST ME, HE HAS DRANK AN EXTREME about ON WHISKY SINCE THEN..... HE IS VERY SICK NOW AND REFUSES TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.... HE HAS LOST about 25 LBS IN THE LAST MONTH, HE CANT EAT, HIS LIVER IS SWOLLEN AND HARD ( YOU CAN SEE IT) HE IS VERY BLOATED, AND FULL AIR... HE FEELS LIKE HE HAS TO BURP ALL THE TIME... HE IS VERY WEAK, AND HIS EYES AND SKIN ARE YELLOW.. THERE IS MORE BUT I THINK YOU PROBIBLY GET THE JUST OF IT... I HAVE DONE A LOT OF READING ON LIVER FAILURE AND CHIROSIS, AND I AM VERY CERTAIN THAT IS WHAT IS GOING ON ...
I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, HE REFUSES TO GO TO THE DOCTOR--! HE HAS NOT DRANK FOR 9 DAYS, BUT THE ONLY REASON HE HAS DONE THAT IS BECAUSE HE CANT, WITH OUT PUKING---- I GUESS I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO OR ANY ADVISE WOULD BE GREAT... THANK YOU
 

westex
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 9/22/2009 5:21 AM (GMT -7)   
When he starts havin blood , black or fresh come out his mouth and tail , he'll go to the doctor, this is what started my sisters problems, prompted her to go to er and she had bleeding varcies caused by active hepatitis c and cirrhosis, she only has 10%of her liver left. hope this helps. i dont know much but this site has been very helpful to me. good luck

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 9/22/2009 1:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Don'tknow, welcome to the forum.  This will be a good place for you to vent and also to get information and support.  Your husband cannot be forced to go to the doctor.  However, as Rick mentioned, if he is a threat to himself he could be court-ordered into treatment.  It could be that the only way he will get to a doctor or the ER is when he starts vomiting blood, goes into a coma, etc.  There is a way back, but he has to be willing to give up the booze, and follow a course of treatment.

I do want to ask that you not use all caps when posting.  It is very hard on the eyes, and also is considered "shouting" in Internet etiquette.

My prayers are with you.

Hugs,

Connie



hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


dontknowwhattodo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 9/22/2009 5:27 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you to everyone that replied... It is so nice to have someone to talk to or at least vent to.. I dont feel he is a threat to me or himself, really the only threat to himself is that he wont take care of this... i have talked to his father about getting him comitted to some sort of a treatment program, then at least a doctor can look at him, but the problem there is that his father is constantly drunk and very hard to deal with, his mother has passed away and he does not have any brothers or sisters... It is basically all ME!

I am continuing to try to talk him into going, at least he is not drinking, maybe he can save whatever part of his liver is left..... Can you function normally off of 10% of your liver?  If there is some left and he does not drink, will he live?  I work grave yard, and i worry myself sick all night, that i am going to go home and find him dead.. I have told him that, that is not being fair to me...

again thank you so much for all your words... Take care and talk soon

Ps.. Sorrry Connie about the Caps.. habbit I guess.. turn

 


mer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 613
   Posted 9/22/2009 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Don't know....welcome to the forum. I am so sorry you are having to witness this horrible disease first hand. Unfortunately, it does not sound like your husband is ready to stop drinking, and until he is willing to help himself, you cannot force him to. Like Rick said, you may have to walk away from the situation, in whatever form that is. He will not wake up until he hits bottom. Hitting bottom comes in different forms for different people. If he gets to the point that he is extremely confused, combative, or a threat to himself or others, you can definitely force the issue to getting him to the doctor. I pray that he goes on his own before a medical emergency forces him to have to go.

In the meantime, you are in a great place here on this forum to get educated on this disease, and also to be surrounded by a wonderful, compassionate group of people who are here for you to vent as much as you need to.

You hang in there and take care of you....okay?

Mer

mer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 613
   Posted 9/22/2009 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Don't know....welcome to the forum. I am so sorry you are having to witness this horrible disease first hand. Unfortunately, it does not sound like your husband is ready to stop drinking, and until he is willing to help himself, you cannot force him to. Like Rick said, you may have to walk away from the situation, in whatever form that is. He will not wake up until he hits bottom. Hitting bottom comes in different forms for different people. If he gets to the point that he is extremely confused, combative, or a threat to himself or others, you can definitely force the issue to getting him to the doctor. I pray that he goes on his own before a medical emergency forces him to have to go.

In the meantime, you are in a great place here on this forum to get educated on this disease, and also to be surrounded by a wonderful, compassionate group of people who are here for you to vent as much as you need to.

You hang in there and take care of you....okay?

Mer

dontknowwhattodo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 9/22/2009 7:43 PM (GMT -7)   

thanks Mer... you all sound so knowledgable.... I did walk away at one time, for a year... we were not togeather all of last year, i guess i mean not living togeather, his drinking also causes him to be not a very nice person.... he lost his family, then he lost his job, now he is sick... i would hope rock bottom would come soon.... i have just recently in the past few months let him come back home, i just can not stand to see him sick, and i know i could not live with myself if i let him die alone-------- I will just do what i can to make him comfortable and like was stated before, he will eventually start to swell or bleed somewhere and will have no other choice but to go to the hospital..... if he gets confused or acts crazy i will just have to call 911.... and hope his rock bottom comes soon.....thanks to all again

Rick,

you said you have been there done that?  if you dont mind me asking?? why wouldnt you go to the doctor?  Afraid of what they would tell you?  I think that is why my husband wont go....

 


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 9/22/2009 8:02 PM (GMT -7)   

He doesn't want to go to the doctor because he knows he will be told that his liver is in bad shape and it is due to his drinking and that he will have to give it up.  Even though he is too sick to drink right now, in the back of his mind he thinks he will drink again...and may even try to.  Normally, rock bottom means losing everything.  Your going back to him was actually enabling him to continue his self-destructive behavior.  It would've been better if you had gone to Al-Anon.  Perhaps you can look into going now.  It will be a way to take care of yourself while being with others who are in your shoes.  Sometimes one has to practice "tough love" with those we care about.

He IS being a threat to himself...to his very life...by his drinking.  States vary as to laws regarding substance abuse (including alcohol), but you might want to call AA or the county court clerk to ask about laws where you live about court-ordering him to treatment.  As his wife, you would be the one to make this decision, but it would require a couple of doctors to sign off on it, as well as a judge.

Hugs,

Connie

 


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


dontknowwhattodo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 9/22/2009 8:11 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you Connie,

So many people told me to go to those meetings, when i first left him... but i didnt!  why i dont know???? I am going to check into them and go to one, i really need to understand why i feel so bad or guilty for his bad actions or decisions in life..... I really wish i could understand why drinking is so important to him that he would lose everything even his life for it---- thanks again everything you said is absolutley correct!


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 9/23/2009 2:27 PM (GMT -7)   

Don'tknow, as a long-time sober alcoholic, I can tell you that addiction makes no sense.  It just is.  And it's more powerful than you can imagine.  It's very common for a significant other to feel responsible, guilty, and that they can somehow "fix" the alcholic/addict.  All of those are false...and you may even know it on some level.  That is why I suggested Al-Anon, though it just wasn't something that was right for me.  I simply cannot live with a practicing alcoholic (way too stressful and disruptive)--but many do and learn to take care of themselves at the same time.  Call Alcoholics Anonymous and ask for an Al-Anon meeting closest to you and the day/time of same.  They have all the information.

Hugs,

Connie



hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


DDore
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 9/27/2009 9:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Call 911 warn them he won't coorporate and you should know by your insurance which hospital he can go to.
Mine is waiting a liver transplant, if he gives me any trouble you bet I won't hesitate to call 911 to get him there.

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 9/27/2009 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   

DDore, I don't think IDon't's husband is at that point yet.  He won't even get to a doctor.  I don't believe calling 911 would accomplish anything.  Of course, if she feels in fear of her life, then she should not hesitate to call 911.

 


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


dontknowwhattodo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 10/5/2009 9:52 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello everyone...

Just thought i would let you know that when i got home from work Sept 23rd, my husband was completley swollen, he allowed me to take him in the hosptial, and after a week and a half stay, he is home again but very ill, and as i expected his liver failed.... he is not drinking and trying to eat a healthy diet so we will just have to take it day by day and see how it goes, he goes back to the doc on Oct 13th.... Thanks everyone...


Just waiting
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/13/2009 7:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much, Dontknowwhattodo, for sharing your confusion and your personal pain with strangers. I have just discovered this website. It is such a comfort it is to know there are so many people out there going through the same things I am. I felt so alone. My husband's liver is failing and he wants to die at home. He just wants to die -- that's all. When I came home from work I found him on the floor in the bedroom incoherent and unable to get up. It will do no good to call 911. He will refuse treatment if he becomes coherent. I don't know how I will get through this night. I'm typing into a computer screen -- but thank you for being here.

dontknowwhattodo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 10/13/2009 8:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Just Waiting,

Oh how I can feel your pain, it is such a horrible thing to go through... I can honsestly say this has been one of the toughest things I have had to conquer in my life... My husband went back to the doctor today after his hospital stay and dignosis... He has not drank since Sept 8th... he basically was forced to quit due to the illness, but i do believe he honostly is going to keep doing it.. He wants to live!.... his liver panels are still very high and he is not out of danger yet, but we are going to do what we can to keep him alive...

Just Waiting--I pray for you, and hope that you get through this, stay strong if you can....

how long has your husband been sick?


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/13/2009 9:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Don'tknow, I am sorry I missed your post of the 6th.  I am so pleased that your husband has been sober since Sept. 8th!  He is giving himself a chance at life.  Also, if he needs a transplant, he cannot get one until he has been sober 6 mos. in AA or alcohol counseling (which one is up to the transplant center) and it has to be documented.  As soon as he feels up to it, I would suggest you try to get him to go to an AA meeting.  You can go with him if he would feel more comfortable.  The hardest part is making that first step in the door. 
 
Just waiting, I want to welcome you to the forum.  As you see, you have company here.  There is a lot of information and support within this "room."  It would be a good idea for you to start a new topic to introduce yourself and your situation to others, so you don't "fall through the cracks."  Is your husband passed out drunk?  If so, just leave him there.  However, if he starts vomiting blood or appears to be comatose, don't hesitate to call 911.
 
My prayers are with you both.
 
Hugs,
Connie
hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


dontknowwhattodo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 10/13/2009 9:41 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Connie,

Thank you....

Do you know anything about the liver panel tests?  i have all these papers in front of me an i am compariing them from when he was in the hospital, What i can see is they are going down a small amount, but still very bad...

there is one that is extremely high and it concerns me.. When we were in the hosptial we seen so many different doctors, and nurses and they all say something kinda different... so it is quite overwhelming..

the one that is so high is GGT -- it is 199 and should be 5-65

i read about it on the internet, but my question is?  does that determine how damaged the liver is ?


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/13/2009 11:09 PM (GMT -7)   

That is extremely high for the GGT.  I think they take them all into consideration, along with the INR, creatinine, etc.  They also look at the bilirubin.  Fortunately, even when I had liver cancer, my levels were never triple high normal...usually a little more than double.  What happened at his followup appointment on the 13th?

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


dontknowwhattodo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 10/13/2009 11:23 PM (GMT -7)   
they told us that things a going in the right direction, but slowly... to keep doing everything the way we are and come back in a month... they also referred him to a physical therapist to try to maybe help him build up his lost muscles so he is not quite so week.... , then on Nov 4th he goes to a sleep clinic, because he has problems with his sleeping at night-- all over the bed, snores terrible, and wakes up every hour... so they think he needs one of those masks that help you sleep... The doc we seen today is going to consult with the GI doc and go from there... When he was in the hospital, they did a MRI and his liver is extremely sick is what they said, but would not give out a percentage of what was left, they said they didnt do that.. and that his gull bladder was very swollen and pushing up against his sick liver, and it had 3 small gall stones and sludge.. We had a surgery consult and they decided to leave it in, the surgery will be to risky for quite some time.... and two of the docs have told us that with out any drinking and eating correctly and taking his meds, that he could be better in a year or two, then two other docs said that most people die within a year of having liver falure... not quite sure what to think... i am staying optimistic and we are working togeather to get through this....
here are his liver counts, this just worries me.. because they are so high
 
Albumin-2.9 (low)
Biliriben- 5.7 (was 7.7 at hospital)(high)
GGT 199(high)
Creantine 0.8 (normal)
INR 1.6
there are a tons more of course, but i think these are the major important ones..

Just waiting
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/14/2009 5:06 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband passed away at 3:45 am this morning. I stayed with him all night. I need him next to me now. Why do they do this to themselves?

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/14/2009 10:05 AM (GMT -7)   

Justwaiting, I am so sooo sorry.  You know now that he is finally at peace, though, which is what he wanted.  It breaks my heart that he didn't seek help with his alcoholism.  Let this be a cautionary tale to those who may be reading this and think they can still continue to drink.

My prayers are with you.  You are welcome here anytime.  I know the days ahead will be difficult, and we are here for you.

Gentle hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


dontknowwhattodo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 10/14/2009 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Just Waiting,
I am so sorry, and am thinking of you.... who knows why they do this to themselves, I wonder that daily... Alcholism is a horfific disease! mad
God Bless you

deedee48
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 148
   Posted 10/14/2009 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   

Justwaiting,My sympathy goes out to you. Try to remember the good times and the love you shared. He will always be with you in your heart and memories.

Take care of your self and my thoughts and prayers are with you, DeeDee


dontknowwhattodo
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 10/27/2009 9:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Just Waiting,
 
How are you doing? confused
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, December 09, 2016 10:18 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,742 posts in 301,326 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151429 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, terrance.
274 Guest(s), 7 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
terrance, Scaredy Cat, Sheeks175, joavila92, Sarakt, puppylover, Peter A


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer