Don'tknow, welcome to the forum. This will be a good place for you to vent and also to get information and support. Your husband cannot be forced to go to the doctor. However, as Rick mentioned, if he is a threat to himself he could be court-ordered into treatment. It could be that the only way he will get to a doctor or the ER is when he starts vomiting blood, goes into a coma, etc. There is a way back, but he has to be willing to give up the booze, and follow a course of treatment.
I do want to ask that you not use all caps when posting. It is very hard on the eyes, and also is considered "shouting" in Internet etiquette.
My prayers are with you.
Thank you to everyone that replied... It is so nice to have someone to talk to or at least vent to.. I dont feel he is a threat to me or himself, really the only threat to himself is that he wont take care of this... i have talked to his father about getting him comitted to some sort of a treatment program, then at least a doctor can look at him, but the problem there is that his father is constantly drunk and very hard to deal with, his mother has passed away and he does not have any brothers or sisters... It is basically all ME!
I am continuing to try to talk him into going, at least he is not drinking, maybe he can save whatever part of his liver is left..... Can you function normally off of 10% of your liver? If there is some left and he does not drink, will he live? I work grave yard, and i worry myself sick all night, that i am going to go home and find him dead.. I have told him that, that is not being fair to me...
again thank you so much for all your words... Take care and talk soon
Ps.. Sorrry Connie about the Caps.. habbit I guess..
thanks Mer... you all sound so knowledgable.... I did walk away at one time, for a year... we were not togeather all of last year, i guess i mean not living togeather, his drinking also causes him to be not a very nice person.... he lost his family, then he lost his job, now he is sick... i would hope rock bottom would come soon.... i have just recently in the past few months let him come back home, i just can not stand to see him sick, and i know i could not live with myself if i let him die alone-------- I will just do what i can to make him comfortable and like was stated before, he will eventually start to swell or bleed somewhere and will have no other choice but to go to the hospital..... if he gets confused or acts crazy i will just have to call 911.... and hope his rock bottom comes soon.....thanks to all again
you said you have been there done that? if you dont mind me asking?? why wouldnt you go to the doctor? Afraid of what they would tell you? I think that is why my husband wont go....
He doesn't want to go to the doctor because he knows he will be told that his liver is in bad shape and it is due to his drinking and that he will have to give it up. Even though he is too sick to drink right now, in the back of his mind he thinks he will drink again...and may even try to. Normally, rock bottom means losing everything. Your going back to him was actually enabling him to continue his self-destructive behavior. It would've been better if you had gone to Al-Anon. Perhaps you can look into going now. It will be a way to take care of yourself while being with others who are in your shoes. Sometimes one has to practice "tough love" with those we care about.
He IS being a threat to himself...to his very life...by his drinking. States vary as to laws regarding substance abuse (including alcohol), but you might want to call AA or the county court clerk to ask about laws where you live about court-ordering him to treatment. As his wife, you would be the one to make this decision, but it would require a couple of doctors to sign off on it, as well as a judge.
Thank you Connie,
So many people told me to go to those meetings, when i first left him... but i didnt! why i dont know???? I am going to check into them and go to one, i really need to understand why i feel so bad or guilty for his bad actions or decisions in life..... I really wish i could understand why drinking is so important to him that he would lose everything even his life for it---- thanks again everything you said is absolutley correct!
Don'tknow, as a long-time sober alcoholic, I can tell you that addiction makes no sense. It just is. And it's more powerful than you can imagine. It's very common for a significant other to feel responsible, guilty, and that they can somehow "fix" the alcholic/addict. All of those are false...and you may even know it on some level. That is why I suggested Al-Anon, though it just wasn't something that was right for me. I simply cannot live with a practicing alcoholic (way too stressful and disruptive)--but many do and learn to take care of themselves at the same time. Call Alcoholics Anonymous and ask for an Al-Anon meeting closest to you and the day/time of same. They have all the information.
DDore, I don't think IDon't's husband is at that point yet. He won't even get to a doctor. I don't believe calling 911 would accomplish anything. Of course, if she feels in fear of her life, then she should not hesitate to call 911.
Just thought i would let you know that when i got home from work Sept 23rd, my husband was completley swollen, he allowed me to take him in the hosptial, and after a week and a half stay, he is home again but very ill, and as i expected his liver failed.... he is not drinking and trying to eat a healthy diet so we will just have to take it day by day and see how it goes, he goes back to the doc on Oct 13th.... Thanks everyone...
Oh how I can feel your pain, it is such a horrible thing to go through... I can honsestly say this has been one of the toughest things I have had to conquer in my life... My husband went back to the doctor today after his hospital stay and dignosis... He has not drank since Sept 8th... he basically was forced to quit due to the illness, but i do believe he honostly is going to keep doing it.. He wants to live!.... his liver panels are still very high and he is not out of danger yet, but we are going to do what we can to keep him alive...
Just Waiting--I pray for you, and hope that you get through this, stay strong if you can....
how long has your husband been sick?
Do you know anything about the liver panel tests? i have all these papers in front of me an i am compariing them from when he was in the hospital, What i can see is they are going down a small amount, but still very bad...
there is one that is extremely high and it concerns me.. When we were in the hosptial we seen so many different doctors, and nurses and they all say something kinda different... so it is quite overwhelming..
the one that is so high is GGT -- it is 199 and should be 5-65
i read about it on the internet, but my question is? does that determine how damaged the liver is ?
That is extremely high for the GGT. I think they take them all into consideration, along with the INR, creatinine, etc. They also look at the bilirubin. Fortunately, even when I had liver cancer, my levels were never triple high normal...usually a little more than double. What happened at his followup appointment on the 13th?
Justwaiting, I am so sooo sorry. You know now that he is finally at peace, though, which is what he wanted. It breaks my heart that he didn't seek help with his alcoholism. Let this be a cautionary tale to those who may be reading this and think they can still continue to drink.
My prayers are with you. You are welcome here anytime. I know the days ahead will be difficult, and we are here for you.
Justwaiting,My sympathy goes out to you. Try to remember the good times and the love you shared. He will always be with you in your heart and memories.
Take care of your self and my thoughts and prayers are with you, DeeDee