Amee, are you out there???

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hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/2/2009 8:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I was thinking of you during the time the forums were down and concerned about you and your hubby.  sad   How are you all doing?  Did MIL pass away?  Please let us hear from you when you are able.
 
Hugs,
Connie
hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


child4
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 107
   Posted 10/3/2009 6:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Me, Too Amee, please check in.

AmeeP
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 10/3/2009 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all! It has just been one hill after another.

My mother in law to date is still being sustained by life support. This is against what she wanted. She has an advanced directive that clearly states that she did not want to be sustained by life support. However my brother in law, the one that moved in with us in June is her Power of Attorney. He has strong armed everyone and everything his whole life and he is drawing this out. He's demanded multiple times that second and third opinions come from outside the hospital. That I can understanc how ever I cannot understand that he's not making her a DNR at this point, she has crashed twice now and he keeps telling them to bring her back.

Yesterday he and my husband got into an argument at the hospital over a phone call. The hospital called us at home to let us know that the doctor would like to sit down with the family to discuss the current status of my MIL. He (my BIL) told my husband that if he wanted to take control of everything that he'd sign everything over to him... and that this was our (my and my husbands) fault that she was here in the first place. Because of what happened in March of this year.


In March, I had to have a D&C, because of a failed pregnancy, and that day when we arrived home, we found my MIL in the bathroom unresponsive, and cold. We called 911, and I began CPR, she was in ICU for two weeks. If I had not had to have the surgery that day, we would have both been at work and wouldnt' have arrived home until after 6PM and she would have surely been dead. She was close to it when we arrived at noon.

We know that this was not our fault, we also know that this is probably his own guilt coming thruogh as he didnt' spend as much time with her as he would have liked, due to living his own life.

The bottom line is that we never placed the bottle in her hand, we told her so many times that she needed to get help, but she didn't want it. It took her getting very sick to realize she needed the help and she did go to alcohol prevention therapy, as it was made mandatory for her to go by the liver transplant team.

Long story short, I think that Monday will be the day that she is removed from the life support. I hope it ends soon so we can all greive and begin the healing process for ourself.

Thank you all for the thinking of me... it's very difficult for us, That is an enormous understatement.

But we do appreciate your support.
Amee

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/3/2009 3:20 PM (GMT -7)   

Amee, thank you so much for updating us.  I'm glad you know that your MIL's situation is not your fault.  It is her own fault.  I hope BIL will make the right decision to let her go.  She deserves to be at peace and that was her wish, not to be sustained by extraordinary measures.

I know how difficult this is for all of you and hope that you will soon have some closure.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


child4
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 107
   Posted 10/5/2009 5:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Amee -
know that we are all thinking of you. 

AmeeP
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 10/5/2009 9:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Today she is still fighting along. She is now able to sustain her oxygen at 100% without the ventalator. However her respirations are beginning to show sighs of slowing. At this time they are just waiting for her to let go. The only part of the brain that is still working is the stem, which controlls the things we don't have to think about, such as breathing, digestion, reflex, ect... The family has said their goodbyes, and have made preperations for her funeral.

Thank you again for the support.
Amee

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/5/2009 12:57 PM (GMT -7)   

Amee, in a way this is the toughest part--waiting for it to be over.  It's surprising how long some people can live once taken off life support.  That is what caused the push to withhold tube feedings, etc.  Has everything been withdrawn from her except pain meds?

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


AmeeP
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 10/5/2009 1:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes, everything has been withdrawn, except pain medication. She is still trecking along. I know it's just her natural reflex of survival. But I also know that her spirit is no longer there, it's merely a shell of a body. She has moved on to a higher place. Her body is swollen, and yet her face is so peaceful. She looks 20 years younger and so refreshed in her face. I think that is all that makes this a bit easier. I know it will be over for all of us soon.

Amee

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/5/2009 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   

Amee, I know what you mean by the spirit no longer being there.  When my aunt died in Dec., she was already "gone" the day before.  She was nearly comatose.  I could tell that only her body was hanging on.  Even the day before that, she was unable to speak--just mumbled something I couldn't understand--and just looked so miserable that I cried when I left the room and prayed to God that she would not linger on and on.  She was a very special person--loved life and people and was always joking around, despite not being able to walk (result of an accident at 13.)  I knew she was miserable just laying there.

I pray your family's ordeal will soon be over, and so will MIL's.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


AmeeP
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 10/11/2009 6:09 PM (GMT -7)   
She passed away on the 7th at 1AM. She went so peacefully with her son's by her side. We had the funeral yesterday, and I cannot tell you how beautiful she was. She trully looked as though she was 30 years old again. She didn't have a wrinkle on her face. She was completely at peace.

Today is the first day that we've not had family over and it's been quiet strange, and sad, yet at the same time peaceful. I don't know how to explain it but I feel it.

Thank you all for the kind words and thoughts over these past few months, and espically through the past few weeks.

Bless you all!
Amee and Family

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/11/2009 7:02 PM (GMT -7)   

Amee, I was thinking of you today and wondering if your MIL had passed yet.  I was going to post and then got a LD phone call that distracted me.  So thank you for posting and letting us know.  I'm so glad that she went peacefully and the funeral was uneventful. 

Remember that you are always welcome here.  You have a lot of experience to share with others who are going through what you have been through.  So don't be a stranger.

Big hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


AmeeP
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 10/12/2009 2:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I will be around from time to time. I'm very happy that I happened upon this sight. It truly helped me understand things and gave me the tools that we needed, in dealing with things.

Thank you again for being there/here.

Amee

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 10/12/2009 3:16 PM (GMT -7)   

Amee, your experience can be a great help to others.  So what you went through will not have been for nothing.  I am sure that right now you just want your life to get back to "normal," though.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


child4
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 107
   Posted 10/14/2009 5:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Amee
I know that I have said this before, but I truly felt we were on this journey together. You helped me tremendously. We sit and wonder why these things happen to the people we love, I think in your case, you were here to help me along. Thank you, and know that I will continue to pray for your family.
c4
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