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DTM
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 11/1/2009 7:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I am new to this forum but have read many back posts trying to find information and peace.  My Dad is 73 and was diagnosed with Cirrohsis last May (He has been a heavy scotch drinker as long as I can remember).  At that time he was throwing up blood, he was disoriented and kept falling.  He stayed 2 weeks in the hospital and 2 more in physical rehab.  He quit drinking and received physical therapy and seemed to gain strength and was back to being "my Dad".  He started drinking again in January and now seems to be failing quickly.  His stomach was swollen and has had to have liquid removed, he is jaundice and occasionally his blood pressure has fallen and he has loses is balance and falls.  He has been to the Drs off and on for blood work and the Dr. even told him that if he doesn't quit drinking he will die in 6 months.  My mother continues to drink and keep alchohol in the house and my father continue to drink.  My Dad suffers from neuropothy (sp?) and is always in pain in his legs.  He says the drinking helps but fails to see that it is his drinking that makes it worse.  It is very frustrating.  I guess I am here to vent because I feel the need to fix it but know I cant.  Any advice out there for a concerned yet helpless daughter?

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 11/1/2009 9:53 PM (GMT -7)   

DTM, welcome to the forum.  I'm very sorry to hear about your dad.  Does your mom also have a drinking problem?  It would be best for her to not keep alcohol in the house and to at least not drink around your dad.

If you look at the top of the forum page, you will see a folder entitled Hepatitis Resources.  There is a lot of info in there on liver disease.  The throwing up of blood was probably from bleeding/ruptured esophageal varices (enlarged veins in the esophagus) and the diorientation from hepatic encephalopathy (ammonia buildup in the brain.)

Your dad's doctor has been very honest with him.  If that doesn't scare him into sobriety, he will probably die from his liver disease--sooner rather than later.  Drinking is the absolute worse thing he could be doing to his liver.  He also needs to be on a low sodium diet, with fresh fruits and veggies, and no red meat.  Is your dad a diabetic?  I suspect he is, since you mentioned neuropathy.  If he is diabetic, alcohol also plays havoc with his glucose levels.

It's very difficult to watch someone you care about basically killing himself.  You have a lot of company here, I assure you.  You will find a lot of support here.  The best thing you can do is to learn what you can about liver disease.  You may not be able to "fix" the problem, but you will know what to expect in the future.  Has your dad ever been to AA?  Would he consider going?

Again, welcome.  We're glad you decided to join the forum.

Hugs,

Connie



hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


DTM
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 11/2/2009 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Rick and Connie for your replies. I feel like I am an expert on this disease already since I started to do research when my Dad was first diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago. I get frustrated because neither of my parents seem to realize how serious this is even though my Dad's health is declining fast. My biggest fear is my Dad is going to be critical soon due to his continued drinking and that they will both be surprised. (even though the Dr has been clear with the impact of my Dad's drinking). I am trying to "let go and let God" but it is so hard. This site and reading everyone's life stories (stuggles and triumphs) has been a big help. I will keep on reading

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 11/2/2009 9:24 PM (GMT -7)   

DTM, I suspect your parents do know, intellectually, that your dad's health is deteriorating, but are in denial.  To accept it would mean to acknowledge the damage alcohol does...and the need to stop drinking.  If you've read many of my posts, you know that I'm a recovering alcoholic with over 23 yrs. of sobriety, so I know the mind games that alcoholics play with themselves.

We are here to support you and you can feel free to vent at any time.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


DTM
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 11/2/2009 9:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Connie. I will go back and read your posts. The last think I would ever want to do is disrespect my parents or to make my Dad feel bad about the addiction to alcohol. I just want to help. I appreciate your helping me put it into perspective.



Donna

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 11/2/2009 10:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello DTM and welcome to HealingWell. I am sorry that you have to deal with this awful disease. It's hard watching your loved ones go through it. I watched my husband go through it and it was one heck of a journey.

What a wonderful daughter you are.....and a very smart one too. You need to do what you feel you can and don't do what you feel you can't. It's actually in God's hands and all you can do is be there for them. It does take it's toll on the caregivers. So take care of yourself through this too.

Thoughts and prayers..........
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


DTM
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 11/2/2009 10:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Pink Grandma and thanks for your kind words. I have read many of your posts. It seems that one of the most often asked questions is "how long" does someone with ESLD have?. I find my self getting obsessed with what signs he is showing and what the liturature says about how long he has to live. It is kind of morbid I think. I want for him to get better but I keep thinking about and dreading the worst. I am sorry to hear about your husband. I know he would be proud of all the people you have helped in this forum.

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 11/2/2009 11:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for your kind words DTM. I think that "How long question??" everyone goes through. I know I did. I even googled something on it. And found a site that I put all my husband's symptoms into and got 1-3 months. The doctors told me a day before 3-6 months. But the site was right........he only lived about a month and a half . For the life of me I can not find that site again.
And yes some people think that it morbid. But for me I needed to try to get prepared. I was already feeling like I was falling apart. I knew that there was a lot of things that needed to happen before he passed.........like mending fences and saying goodbyes.......

Have a good evening..........thoughts and prayers...
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


DTM
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 11/3/2009 10:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Pink Grandma - if it is not too personal (or painful). What was your husband's symptoms in the last 6 months? The wild card with my Dad is that he is still drinking and I don't know whether that has a gradual impact on a already failing liver or if the liver just quits. Any info is helpful.


Thanks, Donna

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 11/3/2009 1:27 PM (GMT -7)   

DTM, his continued drinking will hasten his liver failure.  Nobody can really determine how long each person has to live, as liver disease is such an individualistic thing.  There is some information about this in the Hepatitis Resources folder.  I really shouldn't even still be here--but thanks to great treatment at Mayo, here I am.  Also, I had been sober for 7 yrs. when I was diagnosed with hep C in '93.  The cancer was the result of hep C.  Since cancer surgery, I completely changed my diet to do everything I can to build up my immune system and protect my body.  This includes the dietary changes I mentioned previously.  I also stopped smoking cigarettes about 7 yrs. ago.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


DTM
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 11/3/2009 1:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Connie. Your ability to change your life around is admirable. I know it couldn't have been easy. The one good thing about this process is that me and my brothers and sisters are taking a second look at how we are living our lives (drinking, fatty foods, not enough exercise, we are all overweight) and are trying to make changes.


Donna

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 11/3/2009 7:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Donna, that's terrific!  You will definitely live longer and something would have come out of a bad situation.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 11/9/2009 2:10 AM (GMT -7)   
I think it is quite normal to be reading or googling any information about your dads illness.
Through the years i have searched many websites, looking for answers that are not there. Some people need to be prepared for the future as it helps them to cope with the next step. Every time my mum goes into hospitali think it might be her last, but the real story is that every time she goes in she comes back out with another condition to add to her list.
I made the decision years ago not to drink in front of my mum.
You sound like a loving daughter who has only the best interests of her parents at heart. This site has helped me by being able to talk to someone whoknows how I feel without being directly involved. You need that.

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
   Posted 11/9/2009 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
sad thing is DTM is that he may never quit and it will get to him. they dont realize who they are hurting when they continue to drink even when they have a horrible disease. they dont realize that its not just them that they are hurting it is the ones they love. and i think somewhere deep down they think im gonna die anyway so w hy quit, when in reality if they quit and take care of themselves they will live a longer life. some are in deep denial and i think some just dont care. i recommend learning as much as you can about the disease and continue to come here for support and comfort. i dont know how many times these guys have helped my peace of mind. i know if it wasnt for here i probably would have drowned by now in misery. while sometimes i still feel as if i am drowning i dont feel as bad knowing i have support
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are

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