Worried Girl, you know the ulcer is caused from the drinking and if she drinks again, she probably will die. This emergency could be a blessing in disguise. You have to realize that you cannot babysit her 24 hours a day, nor can you expect your hubby to. What about your job? There are other options available to her: Nursing home or a skilled nursing unit come to mind immediately. She will need 24-hour care for awhile and Medicaid/Medicare pay for it. While you are there, you should talk to her Attending Physician (ask the nursing station for his name and to alert you when he is coming in) or the Resident who is seeing her. Let them know that she cannot be released to her home, even with a visiting nurse, because of the alcoholism issue. I'm sure they are aware what caused the ulcer. Please think about this alternative.
it is up to me. she is still out of it. yesterday she was asking where her mom was(she has been dead 7 years) and says she afraid she not coming out of this. she is delusional and didnt even recognize my sister. she keeps asking for a drink but she is not allowed. they have to keep her on ativan to keep her from being agitated and she keeps crying and trying to grab at the tube in her nose but has no understanding of what she is doing. the nurse says it anesthesia but that was givin to her monday night. if she is still is like this today they are doing a CAT scan of her brain.
my hubby says unless something drastic changes i have to be home by 7 or sooner to spend time with kid and hubby and that is my plan. i am really scared that she is dying. i know she doesnt have much time left.
WG, the doctors come in very early, generally around 6 AM, but can be earlier. Go to the nursing station and ask them when her doctor usually arrives and ask them to note that you need to speak with him.
It seems that your hubby is losing patience with the amount of time you are spending at the hospital. He and your child really have to take priority. The hospital will call you if things suddenly get worse.
WG, I'm sorry to hear that.
WG, the peritonitis is really the worst of her problems. Due to malnutrition and her other ailments, her immune system may not be strong enough to fight it off along with the antibiotics. Why do you want to move her?
I think you are right to plan for the worst outcome. That makes you a good daughter, not a bad one. Our instincts are there to tell us things and you are listening to yours. I had the same feeling about my aunt last Dec. I wasn't even there to see her, but because she was barely able to talk when I called her in the NH and because of strong feelings I had that she wasn't going to last long, I flew to see her and say my goodbyes. She died 2 days later of an infection.
One thing to look for is scant urine output that is dark in color. That's an indication that her kidneys are shutting down, signifying that the end is near.
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time.
we all cope with things in different ways, just because your sister copes in another way does not mean she is wrong. you know your mum is not talking sense when she asks about her parents, it is ok to go along with that, when my gran used to talk of her son and parents,at first i told her she was confused and they had died, she would get herself so upset, then ask the same question again later, all that did was to upset her as she had to go through finding out about their death over and over again. so i went along with her and she was quite content in her own world, she was not right but that did not matter to me. I know itsnot the samesituation but similar. maybe that is what your sister is thinking. you are quite right to prepare yourself for the future, if that is how you best cope on you go. Try and not get too caught up in what others think, you sound as if the pressure is building up inside you, you need to release it. You have been very strong, you also have a good idea whats ahead for your mum, the knowledge about the disease helps us. I think I always felt if i was one step ahead, I would cope better.
Have you spoken to your mum, does she know how bad the situation is, if so how is she feeling? She must be so scared, just like you. you might be able to ask her, what her wishes were, then the decision would be hers,not yours, it might take some of the pressure of you. You are certainly not a horrible daughter, quite the reverse you want the best for your mum.
jft, even we Americans have a hard time understanding Rick, but he's a great guy with a good heart--just an odd sense of humor.
WG, it's MRSA: Methicillin Resistent Staphylococcus Aureus.