I think it's good that you started a new thread, WG. Looking at worst case scenarios is just a way to prepare oneself for what might happen...and also to find out if anything can be done in those situations to improve quality of life. You know your mom wouldn't want to be on a trach, so now the decision must be made whether to take her off the ventilator or not. Some people will go ahead and live for some time; others will pass away within hours. It depends on the individual's situation. If anyone has concerns about her NOT getting a trach, make sure they know that it needs 24-hour care. They have to be suctioned. They get mucus plugs, which is a life-or-death situation. It's not as easy as just having a hole in your trachea. Make sure they know that. Have a nurse explain it to them. If she is not showing any improvement and not responding, would they want her to live like that, on machines? Would SHE want that? These are the things that must be decided.
I hope you can work around your schedule at work; otherwise, to save your job, you may need to take Family Medical Leave.
Ask the doctor or the nurse who is with her most (or the one you talked with previously) if her kidneys are showing signs of shutting down. Dark urine is a clue.
Sorry that you have to endure this pain, and make such a hard desision, I can tell you first hand about a trech..
I used to take care of an elderly gentleman who had one, and they can get plugged so easily with muscus and blood, and then that makes them almost smother if you dont get it suctioned out, it is to hard for an ill person to do this themselves... 911 was called several times because his was plugged and he couldnt breath, that is when i took it upon myself to go over there 4-5 times a day/night and suction it out, becasue he lived by himself and had no family close--- so having one of those she will have to be around someone constantly that can help her do that.. also sometimes it is very hard to just suction out, it is not a good thing.. so hopefully you dont have to go that route, but if you do you sound like a strong person and will be able to get through it.... also to let you know.. to me it does NOT sound like you are giving up on your mom, you just want what is best for her--- I am sure almost everyone one would chose not to stay alive by a machine, no quality of life.... Sometimes I think the quality is better then the quanity.... take care, thinking of you !
WG, if she has a DNR order in place and is extubated, then it cannot be put in again as that would be considered an "extraordinary measure."
I'm off to get my hair cut, but will check in later on today.
Has a decision been made to take her off the ventilator? Does she have a Living Will? I thought you had decided against tube feedings? I understand that you are fighting your sister on everything. Being on a ventilator and now having tube feedings, she could remain that way indefinitely. If there is no significant change over the weekend, I hope you will seek legal advice next week.
WG, what type of surgery did they do? So there was infection, after all?
I'm glad to hear that your sister is becoming more reasonable.
It's just a matter of how much her body can take, and God's will.
Thank you for keeping us updated, when I know you are under so much stress.
Hang in there, sorry you are going through all this heart ache and worry.... I am praying for you to have strength through all of this... take care
WG, thanks for the explanation.
WG, I'm glad you found something reasonable. I know this is a rough time, but I truly feel the worst is over for you.
Just remember, we are always here for you.