WG, you hang in there. You are stronger than you know. Yes, 50 is very young to die. But you have nothing to feel guilty about. You gave a lot of yourself, despite how she treated you. You have to remember that she did this to herself. The anger will come at some point about that. Dr. Kubler-Ross said that grief has 5 stages: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The first four don't always occur in that order, or you might go back and forth between them. I think she should have included guilt, as well. But you must experience them to get to acceptance. Once the funeral is behind you, you can allow yourself to grieve.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dear worried girl, I just came on line I haven't been on in awhile, I read your post and I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. You seem to be in control I'm so proud of you. They say God only gives us as much as we can handle, but some people are stronger than others. I trully believe your mom is at peace and looking down at you with pride and much love.
Take care of your self. My deepest sympathy is with you,
WG, the tears will come when you least expect it. Like weddings, funerals are never "perfect." I know it will be hard for you--the finality. Find someone YOU can lean on for a change...and remember that God is always there, and so are we.
WG, that is the thing to remember: She is no longer in pain and is at peace.
God bless you.
Dear WG.I am very sorry to hear the news of your mother. Now it is time for you and your family. Be sure to wear your grief openly, talk to everyone you trust, be sure to have cried and cried out. It helps, I didn’t do it my mother or father and it plagues me still.