does the missing stop

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worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
   Posted 12/1/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -7)   
she has been gone a week and i miss her more than i thought i would. i have been through the guilt(sometimes i still feel guilty) i even cried at the funeral. i find myself thinking i need to call mom and tell  her about my day and then i realize that she is gone. i miss her more than i ever thought possible and wonder why she was taken so quickly. it seemed like she was feeling pain but not really too sick one day and then the next day bam its over. i told myself last week as long as we didnt have the funeral she was still around but now the finality of it all is like a slap in the face. i absolutely hate this disease and wonder why it has to happen to anyone. for a year you guys have made me feel so welcome but now i wonder do i have a place here now that i have no one in my life with hep c. i would like to ask to be able to stay and keep tabs on you guys and make sure you guys are doing ok.
 
one good thing is that i found the guy that would have been my step dad when i was a teenager and he wants to be a part of my life now. so one good thing has come from it. another thing i am feeling is anger. i have a uncle that is a worse alcoholic than my mom and was one for even longer than her and he is still here and my mom, who btw i found out was not drinking when i thought she was, has been sober for a long time is gone. i always thought he would go first(i am not wishing he was gone or anything bad i am just angry). i hate feeling this way and i wish it would stop.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 12/1/2009 12:51 PM (GMT -7)   

WG, first of all, you are not only welcome here, but you are NEEDED here...as someone who has been on the caregiving end and then experienced loss, you have a lot to give to others in a similar situation.  We all care about you and want you to continue posting.

All of your feelings are normal and are a part of the grieving process.  Your loss is still fresh, but in time it won't hurt as much.  With both my mom and dad, I still miss what I never had--a close relationship with them.  I've grieved this too, and learned to let it go as much as possible, but way down deep it's still there.

Regarding your uncle, men handle alcohol differently than women.  Men are larger and have more muscle.  Alcohol hits women much harder and faster.  However, if your uncle keeps drinking, he will eventually suffer the same effects as your mom.  It just takes longer.  It is somehow comforting to know that your mom was not drinking towards the end.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
   Posted 12/1/2009 3:24 PM (GMT -7)   
yes it is comforting and i am mad at myself for thinking she was. christmas is coming and its gonna be hard but her birthday is in january and i know thats gonna be a hard day. i cant believe i miss her as much as i do.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are


Imjustpeachy
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 12/1/2009 6:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi,  I can't imagine ever NOT missing someone in your family.  I can tell you the intensity and pain lessen but truthfully the missing doesn't.  My dad died 6 years ago & I miss him everyday but I think now more about the good memories than the loss. I have wondered why some go and some stay.  I have always believed we have a time to go, but it sure doesn't make it easy.     I have been a caregiver to my dad, mom and brother over the years.  There was one year that no one was sick and I almost felt lost because I didn't have anyone to take care of.  I always felt like I was supposed to be doing something but there was nothing to do.  It was strange just being responsible for myself.  But....time rolled on and someone else got sick and I was back in my "role".   (I love them all and wouldn't NOT be there).
 
And like Connie says you are needed here.  The other caregivers need someone who understands and the ones that are ill need someone to listen to them and care for them even if it is "virtually". 
 
Take care and try to do something nice for yourself. 
 
Cheryl

shadowsghost
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 12/1/2009 11:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Caw, I know how you feel in the last 2 yrs I have lost a best friend to cancer, my mummy to alzhiemers and Doug to liver desease. This missing part does get easier as time goes on, I look around me sometimes and I do get angry, sad and feeling lost. You know the things I hold on to is the little funny moments, they warm my heart. Many times after Doug passed I just wanted my mummy, to call her and cry then I would start to laugh cause she loved to do imatations of people that were so hysterical and you would be laughing and crying at the same time. So even though I couldnt call her I did in my mind and still got a chuckle from my pretend phone call!!! Oh gee did that sound nuts.... maybe I should increase my meds LOL...... oh never mind they dont work for the voices just the OCD well they really dont for that either...... now i forgot why I take them hhmm??? I degress here.... Oh yeah I know where I was, things do get better they really do.....keep her in your mind and heart she will be there for you and with you!
Sue
When I started counting my blessings my whole world turned around.


Affected by Disease
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 12/2/2009 10:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I need you WG. No one understands what my sister an i are going through. This place is somewhere i can look for help from someone just like yourself. The fact that you are even still posting is a testament to how strong you are. Thank you for being there.
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