Allie, I agree with WG. Since he is not her husband and you are her daughter, I suggest you see an attorney about getting Power of Attorney and Health Care Surrogacy. The Surrogacy would put you in the position to make medical decisions for her. You could also have access to all her medical records, get info from doctors, etc.
Any invasive procedure carries risks. If there is a chronic health problem, it increases the risk. However, I've had 5 hip surgeries (bilateral replacements and 3 revisions) since being diagnosed with hep C. One of the revisions I had was with cancer. Your mom will not be able to walk without horrendous pain if she has an unrepaired broken hip, and her risk of falling also increases...even if she hasn't been drinking. So for these reasons, the hip repair is necessary. Otherwise, she will be in pain and wheelchair bound. Depending on the severity of the break, they may be replacing the femoral head. Just make sure she has a really good orthopedic surgeon. Ask what they will do for post-op pain relief. It is a very painful surgery, but Mayo has new techniques for pain management that made the 2 revisions I had there much less painful than surgeries I had at Shands. She should go to an inpatient rehab facility when the hospital is ready to discharge her. They can make those arrangements. She will need to learn to walk again and to regain strength and flexibility. I'm still doing my PT exercises at home 4-5 x a week, 3 1/2 mos. after my last hip surgery.
If you have any questions, you can e-mail me. I do have a lot of knowledge of hip surgery, having been through it so many times.
I agree with WG. It is in her best interest to go to a nursing home. If they DO operate, she will need to go to rehab for a couple of weeks, anyway. It's a 3-5 hour surgery, so the clotting factor is very important. But they also may feel that she won't comply with post-surgical instructions. For example, she cannot bear full weight for 6 wks. or more. Once she is back home and starts to drink, she may feel that she can walk or go out to get a bottle or whatever...and fall and undo what they've done. OTOH, if they don't operate, she will be in unending pain and unable to walk at all. It's a tough situation.
Allie, they usually place a drain for a couple of days. She also should have a catheter. She CANNOT get out of bed and walk. They will try to get her up tomorrow to sit in a chair and maybe to stand with the walker. It is a slow process. You do need to get ahold of the doctor and let him know her situation.
At any rate, I'm glad she got through surgery okay.
WG, again I agree...but would say rehab and then NH. Rehab will help her become as independent as possible and more mobile and steady on her feet to prevent falling. Of course. by then she may not be eligible for a NH.
I think it's very important, Allie, to let the doctor know that the partner will try to snow him and tell him (and other medical staff) not to worry, that he will take care of your mom...but you know he can't handle it. That's how she got in this predicament, along with the drinking problem.
Allie, please don't take others' failings upon yourself. I know you have done everything you can for your mom. You have nothing to feel guilty about. And teenagers--well, you do almost wish you could sleep through until they get grown.
Surgeons usually do surgery in the morning and have office visits in the afternoon. If you can't catch him at the hospital, perhaps you can set up a meeting at his office. But it's up to you if you want to pursue this. I can well understand how you are sick of the whole business.
Allie, that means they replaced the femoral head, but not part of the femur. Nevertheless, she will have mobility problems for awhile. Do they have her walking with a walker yet? I don't blame you for stepping back. You have to take care of yourself and your family first and foremost. She is putting on a show because she wants to get the heck out of there. A smart and experienced physical therapist will be able to detect the disconnect between what she says and what she is capable of. What did your mom mean by "her detox was being arranged?" Is she going to a detox facility or being put on medication or what?
We all have our limits and you may have reached yours. Unfortunately, not everyone wants to be helped.