Blessed With Hospice

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DTM
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 1/2/2010 10:33 AM (GMT -7)   
For anyone who is afraid of the term "Hospice" I was once like that too.  The Dr's recently told my Mom that there is nothing else they can do for my Dad.  He is 73 and has Cirrhosis of the Liver and continues to drink.  We have watched him continue to degrade physically but his mind is still good most of the time. 
 
I was sick to my stomach when Mom called Hospice.  I thought that meant we were going to start the death watch.  I could not have been more wrong.  They were wonderful!!  They are providing my mother the help she needs to keep Dad at home and comfortable and to help him keep as much indepencence and dignity as possible.    I do know that my father will die soon but Hospice has provided so much relief (emotionally, physically and spiritually) that I feel that our prayers have been aswered.  I felt the need to post this to help anyone else who is having to consider that it is time for hospice.
 
Iam no longer angry with my father, I just want to spend as much time with him as possible and want him to be comfortable in his own home as long as possible.   I hope everyone has a blessed new year!

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 1/2/2010 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   

DTM, thank you for posting this.  I am glad that Hospice was called in for your family (not just your father.)  A lot of people have a misconception, as you did, about Hospice, but they really are invaluable to the entire family.

Bless you and yours in the coming year,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 1/2/2010 2:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I am pleased that calling in the Hospice has worked for you and your family. The word Hospice is frightening ,you always think of the worst.

You should be proud of yourself for not showing the anger you feel, that is hard, you need to do whats best for you and your dad. That way you will have no regrets.

DTM
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 1/4/2010 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   
My Dad just found out that he cannot continue to see his Liver specialist since he is now on Hospice. He feels that he has been abandoned by the Drs. This was the same Dr that recommended him for hospice. I don't know what to say to him, he is really depressed. Any similar experiences from those who have used hospice?

shadowsghost
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 1/4/2010 9:13 PM (GMT -7)   

I am so sorry to hear that no one explained that to your dad. Hospice is a great help at these times but you can no longer use Dr's that are part of the life saving mentality. Most times you can only use the on call Dr for that hospice chapter or your general prcatitioner. That pertains to all terminal illnesses not just liver disease. Hospice is comfort measures only and your specialists are considered to have life saving goals. Again I am so sorry you were not aware of this from the begining. I know your build a close relationship with some of your Dr's.

Sue


When I started counting my blessings my whole world turned around.


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 1/4/2010 10:25 PM (GMT -7)   

Sue is right.  Since your dad's hepatologist feels there is nothing more he can do for him, there is no reason to continue following him.  This is why he recommended Hospice.  It really should have been made more clear that there will be no more testing, treatment, etc.--only comfort measures.  I think you should tell your dad that they do not want to put him through any more discomfort, and that quality of life becomes more important than quantity at this stage.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 1/4/2010 10:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Sue is absolutely right........Hospice is suggested when the doctor feels there is no life expectancy beyond 6 months and they have done all that they could. They are a wonderful organization (been there done that.) But as one of our members had previously said.........it takes a lot of love to know when to let go and make their last days as comfortable as possible. It was the hardest decision that that I have ever had to make........twice. I sure hope that I never have to make it again.

And yes my husband was upset that he could not go to his regular doctors anymore or go have his blood work done any longer either. He loved the lab technicians. They were so good to him. After he was on Hospice I had to have some blood work done and he had to go with me to tell them good bye and take them a box of candy.......up until that day.......I had showed no weakness in front of my husband. I fell apart in the office and couldn't have my blood work done. We were all crying.

I'm not sure that there is anything you can say to him......except that you love him and spend as much time with him as you possibly can. I called all my husband's family that he hadn't seen in a while......they all came to see him........and his estranged daughter came and they were able to mend a very important fence.

Take care........thoughts and prayers.......
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


DTM
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 1/5/2010 10:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all. I shared your replies with my mother. Even though my Dad was there when the Dr suggested Hospice I don't think it sunk in and he was confused the day they showed up at the house for the first time. Mom and I will help him understand. My shoes are bad enough from a daughter's standpoint. I can't imagine being my Dad or Mom. They started dating at 15, married at 17 and are still going strong 55 years later. They are doing their best to thank god for the time they had vs praying for more time. This website has brought me strength. Thank you.

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 1/5/2010 2:43 PM (GMT -7)   

Fifty-five years is remarkable!  Your mom is really going to need your support after your dad is gone.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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