"It feels good to say uhghh."
Good on you for making the appts. Now we'll see if she keeps them.
I agree with WG. I hope you can get your mom to a doctor soon. If things get worse, you may need to take her to an ER.
Donna, thank you for a great post!
DDLee, you really cannot do it all, so please don't expect yourself to! Is your mom against Hospice? They would definitely make sure she is as pain free as possible, and also would provide nursing care and respite care in the home. It's too bad your mom's partner has decided to drink again. She needs for him to be sober. It may also cause her to try to drink again, though she may not be able to hold it down.
Paracentesis or diuretics should be seen as comfort measures, as they do help relieve the pain and discomfort of ascites. However, Hospice may not see it that way. In particular, I think they will not allow paracentesis. Perhaps it depends on the different hospices. I don't have much experience or knowledge in that area.
Just do the best you can and what you feel you are able to do. And don't beat yourself up for what you can't.