Don't know what to do anymore

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

scarlett grace
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/5/2010 6:05 PM (GMT -7)   
My sister, who is 31, has been an alcoholic for nearly 10 years, and for 5 of those years has drunk at least a bottle of vodka a day.
In the past 11 months things have badly deteriorated, she has been hospitalised 7 times, the longest for three weeks and is currently in hospital. She has been diagnosed with pancreatitis,hepatitis,early cirrosis , alcoholic liver disease and a stomach ulcer. Each hospital visit gets more serious. My other sister and I managed to get her to go to hospital this Monday because of severe jaundice, confusion, abdominal pain, vomiting and her stomach was very swollen, she has now been scanned for portal hypertension and they are also worried about her kidneys, and think she may have weakened her heart so are scanning that too. she is on a drip and antibiotics and is much weaker this time.
She is very underweight and is severely malnutrioned as she refuses to even take the vitamins and supplements the doctors give her upon discharge. she rarely eats at home and never goes to bed, she no longer takes care of herself, not even washing herselfshe has also lost a lot of bladder control, her house is in a terrible state. my family and I try to help her as much as possible taking food to her and doing housework but my parents are in their seventies and my both my sister and I have famililes of our own to take care of too. we beg her to come and stop with one of us when she leaves hospital but she refuses and goes home, straight to the bottle, she has even said she is happy to die so she can drink. we have tried everything to help her but she refuses all help. Alcohol has destroyed my sisters life and brought so much misery and suffering to all the family, I have watched my parents go through hell, literally worrying themselves sick, I constantly worry something will happen to them too, they are too old to take much more. It hurts so much to think of the person I once knew to what she has become now, I feel she hasnt got much longer left, her body cant take the abuse anymore, and I feel so guilty there should be something i can do, how could this have happened to my sister, I no longer know what to do to try and help, but just watching her self destruct is terrible. I'm sorry if this post has gone on forever but I just needed to  get it off my chest and this seemed a good place to do it.

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 3/5/2010 9:36 PM (GMT -7)   

Scarlett, welcome to the forum.  My heart goes out to you, but the truth is there is nothing you can do for your sister.  She is not willing to stop drinking, so she is digging herself an early grave.  Her youth is the only reason she is still alive, but the alcohol seems to be catching up with her.  You have nothing to feel guilty about.  You cannot help someone who does not want help.  Do what you are comfortable doing and are able to do, but also try to detach a little.  If you haven't already done so, you might want to read some of the other posts here dealing with alcoholism and liver disease.  You have a lot of company here.  Feel free to vent at any time.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


scarlett grace
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/6/2010 3:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for your reply. I know you are right and that there is nothing anyone can do until she accepts the help, but its hard to not to try and help, but I have realised that by trying to make her accept help she doesn't want I cause myself more pain.
It just seems so crazy to me, she has swapped everything she had for vodka, given up friends, family, college, her daughter has lived with me for the past year, alcohol has even taken her dignity, she will happily sit around in urine soaked clothes for days, she used to care about how she looked, but even brushing her hair seems too much nowadays. She rarely leaves the house, unless she needs money or alcohol.
One of the hardest things to deal with is how much the alcohol has changed her, she will say the cruellest things to the family, she accuses me of stealing her daughter from her, which isn't true, she couldnt take care of her anymore, I was frightened of what would happen if I didn't step in, I think she would have lost her daughter to the care system but she doesn't see it like that, I just wish I could have my sister back. But every day the alcohol steals another little piece of her and when theres nothing left of the woman I knew it will be the end, she will be dead and the vodka will have won. Alcoholism is one of the cruellest things imaginable, as I'm sure everyone here knows, my heart goes out to all here, because if your reading these messages your probably as worried and desperate as me, hopefully some of us will get the outcome we are looking for.

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 3/6/2010 12:28 PM (GMT -7)   

Scarlett, thank goodness you did get care of her daughter.  That was a smart move.  Now the daughter has a chance at a normal life.  That is a gift you gave your sister, whether she realizes it or not.  I went through what you are going through with my own mother, so I understand.  I was traveling down the same road, and when I realized I was becoming just like my mother, it scared me enough to seek help through AA.  I've been sober now for 23 1/2 years, but I was the one who sought the help and was willing to do whatever was necessary to get and stay sober.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 03, 2016 7:10 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,358 posts in 301,012 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151172 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Whydoesithurtsomuch.
291 Guest(s), 14 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Psilociraptor, Tirzah, Susannah R., summer16, Girlie, mmmk, LG13, NiceCupOfTea, Hawaii3654, Fairwind, Ggrlsav, pitmom, 614-2101-765-611, marigold33


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer