Sue, it's natural to feel as you do, coming up on the anniversary of Doug's death. I know my daughter gets mopey around the time her son died and also on his birthday. It has gotten better with time.
Allow yourself a certain amount of time to reminisce and cry, then pick yourself up and get active. I think that's what Doug would want.
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"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland