hep c and cryosis

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sjmurphy
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/21/2010 11:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone, I decided to join the group when I was searching for info for my husband.  Dont know where to start but in 2004 he fell off the top of the trailer on a semi truck and was off work and started taking pain pills in July 2004 in march 2005 his legs swelled up and ankles and when we were at the hospital picking up papers I talked him into going into the er to see what was going on.  Thats when they told him he had hep c and cryosis, and then it began doctor visits.  At this time he was still taking pain pills the doc was prescribing and drinking with it.  So he was a basket case.  He was told he had to get off the pain meds when he did it  sent him into the hospital and he was very very sick.  Well he quit drinking for a while went through counseling and AA did a really good job but it didnt last very long.  Now he went to the doctors and now they are telling him he has to be evaluated to be put on the transplant list.  Keep in mind the doc thinks hes not drinking because he told them he wasnt he lied he drinks every night or at least 5 out of 7.  I'm at my wits end dont know what to do I refused to go to the doc with him because I will not lie to the doc.  although his sister went and she did.  We have been married 33 years and have 3 grown children and 8 grand children and my kids are so upset with him they wont have anything to do with him now since they found out he went to a different doc who does know hes seeing a liver doc  but this doctor prescribe suboxone to get him off the pain pills, and then he told that doc he cant sleep so they gave him colopin (i'm not spelling that right sorry) for sleep and then he told them he was getting his teeth pulled and he needed something else for pain so the doc prescribed him subutex(again sorry about the spelling)  anyway this was suppose to be for when he gets his teeth pulled unfortunately we dont have the money to do that at this time.  So long story short he's driving me crazy with this pill popping stuff he cant function his brain is in a big fog dont know if thats from not taking his laxtulose or from the pills he wont listen to me I'm trying to work and he will call me several times all day long.  I dont know what I thought you guys could do for me other than listen I dont know what to do or where to begin I have tried several times to talk to him explain what hes doing to himself but he wont listen.  I dont know where to go from here?  I hope this makes sense seems like I get ahead of myself sometimes cry  

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 4/21/2010 12:58 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello, SJ, and welcome to the forum.  You will find a lot of support here from people in similar situations.  As a sober alcoholic, I don't have much patience for those who continue to drink and/or drug with a diagnosis of liver disease.  He may have turned to these things out of fear, but he definitely needs to stop.  Nothing the doctors do will be of any help as long as he continues to self-medicate. 

Has your husband been referred to a transplant center yet, or is he just seeing a hepatologist?  Either way, with further testing they ARE going to find out about his continued drinking and drug use.  As you may know, he will not be evaluated for transplant until he has 6 months of DOCUMENTED sobriety in AA or alcohol counseling, depending on the particular transplant center.

Personally, I would either have him leave or leave myself.  I would not stand by and watch someone commit slow suicide.  But that is your choice to make.  You know what it's like now.  It will only get worse.  It could be that he CANNOT stop on his own.  Suggest detox or inpatient treatment to him when he is not drinking and possibly receptive.  I would also go with him to his next doctor's appt. and let the doctor know that he is drinking and addicted to pills.  But that's me.  You have to make the decision to do what's best for you.

I'm going to bump my thread on medical words, which will help you with the spelling of some of these words.  Also, if you haven't already done so, I suggest reading the info in the folder at the top of the page entitled Hepatitis Resources.  You will have an idea of what to expect from that.

Hugs,

Connie

 



hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


sjmurphy
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/22/2010 4:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Connie thanks so much for the reply, let me just say that I have threatened to leave and have not followed through my biggest problem is everything I have worked for all these years our home is almost paid for just two more years of payments to make where we live is a small town with very few jobs. One option I have is that I would have to move if I did leave and to do that I would have to get another job and then my insurance that I have now would end. With the new job generally if they offer insurance theres a waiting period and with his pre existing condition he would not be able to purchase insurance. I dont know the rate hes going now he will never get a transplant anyway so the insurance probably wouldnt matter. He has went through the counseling part and has his papers saying that hes sober and doing well and he was at that time but not now. I think he feels like oh well this liver is shot might as well finish it off so I can get another one. Although the doc has told him time and time again that he doesnt want to rush being put on the list because the chances are not all that good that your body will reject the liver and your gonna be very sick by the time your ready. I know that I'm not getting any younger I will be 50 this year he is only 48 and I'm working on trying to take care of myself my health which is not real serious and seems minor to his problems but I have been since march of this year trying to get myself. I'm not sure what to do next I go through the motions everyday wait on him hand and foot he cant do nothing for himself and its not because of his illness he takes advantage of it. His sister tells me to have patients with him but how can you feel sorry for someone who continues to distroy everything around him If it were me I think I would want to make sure he would be alright when I passed on but not him he's not worried about me at all. I'm afraid and dont know what to do.

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
   Posted 4/22/2010 6:56 AM (GMT -7)   
hi i am sorry you are going through this but his doctors need to know he is drinking and taking other pills. i am sure all those pills he is on is causing great harm to his liver. he needs to stop drinking. i have seen what this disease does firsthand cause my mom had hep c and cirrhosis and died a horrible death. i dont understand why people who have this disease still continue to drink. i wish you all the best and im sorry that you are going through this. this place is great for support as they helped me when i was my moms caregiver and it will do you great good to be here.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.


Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 4/22/2010 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello sjmurphy and welcome.   As a former caregiver for my husband who passed away due to this awful disease I can relate to you.   My husband did finally stop drinking about 2-3 years before he died by I guess it was a too little, too late kind of thing.   It was a long hard struggle trying to get him to stop.   Once he had his first encephalopathy episode.......that did it.  It scared him silly.   So he did it on his own.   Like you I was working full time and then taking care of him once I got off work.   But I was luckier than you.......he didn't like me waiting on him hand and foot.  (Not that I would have done it while he was drinking anyways.) I would get lots of calls from him each day also.   I was lucky that I had an understanding supervisor back then.  Because I know that in some workplaces they would have let me go for all the interruptions. 
 
Anyways take care of yourself too.  Get little breaks from him........going to working is not included in it.   Take walks,  read a magazine, take a bubble bath.  Do something that makes you feel better.  It doesn't have to be a long break ,  but you need them to keep your sanity.  
 
Take care........thoughts and prayers........ 
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 4/22/2010 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   

SJ, I certainly wouldn't wait on him.  You are not his servant and he doesn't deserve such good treatment while continuing to drink.  As for a transplant, that is not even going to be in the picture if he continues to drink.  When he gets all the tests for transplant, believe me, they will know what he's doing.  Then he will need 6 months of documented sobriety. 

I wish you luck, but I only see matters getting worse if he is not willing to sober up.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


sjmurphy
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/23/2010 6:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone thanks so much for the reply its nice to know your not the only one with problems. I have always tried to just handle my troubles by myself got used to seeing my mother do that until she became ill so I was afraid that it was a sign of weakness if you couldnt handle your own problems I know that there is always someone worse off than you thats why I hate to complain. But anyway Connnie he does have a hepatologist and has been seeing him for about 2 years now in July I believe is when he see's the people from the transplant center. The last couple of days hes been quite just sleeping alot when he is awake he talks and doesnt make sense one of the problems is he wont take the lactulose which causes the brain fog wouldnt you know it a drug that will help him he doesnt want go figure. I am going to my sons tonight to get away for awhile as he will be able to take care of himself it seems the only time he will do that is if i'm away. I tried to tell him before that if it were me that was dying with a illness I believe that I would be kind and nice to everyone around me so that when i'm gone they would miss me and remember good things (at least thats what I think I would want) but not him the ways hes going sometimes I feel like it would be a relief (forgive me god) but I dont want to feel that way but he is so mean sometimes and hateful says awful hurtful things to me I try to ignore it as thats the way hes always been. One of my biggest concerns is he gets a disability check monthly and getting him to give me some of the money for bills is a fight every month. Right now I'm debating on something I know is wrong but I feel I dont have any other chance he will be getting around 10,000 dollars from somekind of back pay and if I tell him he will take it and blow it on stupid stuff as in 2008 he receive 30,000 and waisted all of it on stuff he didnt need and doesnt use my back porch is full he is one of these people who will buy anything because he thinks he might make a dollar off of it but instead it just clutters up my house or our building before he bought this woman out brought truck loads of junk rented a storage building for a year finally we practally gave it all away just to get rid of it. Any how I have 5000 dollars left on my house and about 3000 more owed to two banks for my car and one loan for a furnace (that he never did purchase)so I figured I need to pay those things off and if any is left then I will tell him (he will probably kill me when he finds out) but the thing is I dont have any life insurance on either of us and if something happens I will need a loan for burial cost so I'm not sure what to do tell him before or after I pay that stuff off??? Does anyone have any advice as to what I should do??? I really dont want to take it without him knowing but I know he wont pay off those bills at least if I did that I know that my payments will be taking care of and the only thing we would owe would be utilities and I could handle that with my check, does this sound awful please let me know what you think???

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 4/23/2010 9:24 AM (GMT -7)   

SJ, I think you need to do whatever you can to take care of yourself as he obviously won't do it.  I wouldn't even mention the back pay, either before or after, if you have a joint account.  It will most likely be direct-deposited (mine was.)

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


sjmurphy
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/23/2010 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   
yell thats what i'm thinking but my luck he will find out and then I'm not sure what will happen. Guess I will have to wait and see. thanks everyone for the replys

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 4/23/2010 2:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I think that I would do it also.  With his bouts of encephalopathy he is in no condition to be making any financial decisions.......and if he does find out.......he probably in no condition to kill you either.   I know mine wasn't.  
 
Take care........thoughts and prayers.........
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.

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