Hello, SJ, and welcome to the forum. You will find a lot of support here from people in similar situations. As a sober alcoholic, I don't have much patience for those who continue to drink and/or drug with a diagnosis of liver disease. He may have turned to these things out of fear, but he definitely needs to stop. Nothing the doctors do will be of any help as long as he continues to self-medicate.
Has your husband been referred to a transplant center yet, or is he just seeing a hepatologist? Either way, with further testing they ARE going to find out about his continued drinking and drug use. As you may know, he will not be evaluated for transplant until he has 6 months of DOCUMENTED sobriety in AA or alcohol counseling, depending on the particular transplant center.
Personally, I would either have him leave or leave myself. I would not stand by and watch someone commit slow suicide. But that is your choice to make. You know what it's like now. It will only get worse. It could be that he CANNOT stop on his own. Suggest detox or inpatient treatment to him when he is not drinking and possibly receptive. I would also go with him to his next doctor's appt. and let the doctor know that he is drinking and addicted to pills. But that's me. You have to make the decision to do what's best for you.
I'm going to bump my thread on medical words, which will help you with the spelling of some of these words. Also, if you haven't already done so, I suggest reading the info in the folder at the top of the page entitled Hepatitis Resources. You will have an idea of what to expect from that.
SJ, I certainly wouldn't wait on him. You are not his servant and he doesn't deserve such good treatment while continuing to drink. As for a transplant, that is not even going to be in the picture if he continues to drink. When he gets all the tests for transplant, believe me, they will know what he's doing. Then he will need 6 months of documented sobriety.
I wish you luck, but I only see matters getting worse if he is not willing to sober up.
SJ, I think you need to do whatever you can to take care of yourself as he obviously won't do it. I wouldn't even mention the back pay, either before or after, if you have a joint account. It will most likely be direct-deposited (mine was.)