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nc born and bred
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 6/29/2010 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello All. hope everyone is ok. just wanted to give an update on mom... she is down to 89 pounds. still very confused most of the time. never knows what day,month or year it is. she has bruises all over. just a touch seems to bruise her now.. she has bad days and not so bad days. and she does have an odor about her.she doesnt care about her appearance or much of anything anymore..but........shes not drinking........ my stepdad is now in a rehab center. so life is pretty hectic between them and my house and work.. but im hanging in there. taking it day by day. bless you all.

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 6/29/2010 3:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi!  Thanks for the update!  Try to remember to take time for yourself.  Your mom will probably just continue to decline and possibly go into a coma.  It's good that she's not drinking, though.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


arneeb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2350
   Posted 6/29/2010 11:54 PM (GMT -7)   
prayers and thoughts ur way... hang in there... take care of self... Sandi
There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still... Corrie Ten Boom


allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 7/7/2010 3:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Nc I am glad to hear that your mum is not drinking, it is really hard for you right now but you got to be strong. I am learning not quite there but it is a start.All you can do it be there for your mum if she needs you. My mum has lost a lot of weight, she is stilldrinking heavily, definately think she is losing her mind.it is sometimes like something out of a murderscene , when you go in to see her dried in blood on walls etc. I know the odour you are talking about my mum often gets it, more so when she has been off the drink (when in hospital). take care

arneeb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2350
   Posted 7/7/2010 6:11 AM (GMT -7)   
wow nc... I had all that stuff early on before they put the shunt in... the blood and all that.. wow guys... take care of yourselves..
There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still... Corrie Ten Boom


nc born and bred
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 7/7/2010 1:55 PM (GMT -7)   
 horrible day........ my mom drinking again today.... and if i was a drinker i probly woukd too. gave the news today stepdad less than 6 mths to live.... mom went all to heck..... this is a nightmare and if she last much longer than that it will truly be a miracle....she goes a lil more downhill every day.... more later. totally depressed.

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 7/7/2010 2:41 PM (GMT -7)   

{{{{{{{{{{NC}}}}}}}}}  So sorry for the additional bad news.  Does he have cancer?  If you don't already have Hospice involved, you could do so now, if he is coming home instead of remaining in the rehab center.  Your mom will undoubtedly want to join him, and any motivation she may have had to stay sober is going to go out the window.  I'm really sorry.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 7/7/2010 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
just when you think it cannot get any worse it does....your nightmare will end sometime, who knows when but it will. I always think it cannot possibly get worse and it does. There is a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere and in that place your mum, my mum and others going through the same will find peace instead of torment. That is what I pray for.

arneeb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2350
   Posted 7/7/2010 4:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Amen to that...
There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still... Corrie Ten Boom


pug5
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 7/7/2010 10:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry to here about you mom and stepdad. Don't forget about yourself I know its hard but try and take care.

nc born and bred
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 7/8/2010 6:05 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks to all of you. i work in an assisted living home, so im around the elderly all the time,but i guess its different when its family. i love my job annd all the residents,but it is a very stressful job... and mom and stepdad needing so much has me wore out....  he does have cancer.we  meet with doctors and hospice tomorrow.......mom says if he is dying,then he will die at home... i never know if shes in her (hope this doesnt sound ugly) right mind or not. she ask me today what year it was. never knows what day it is. i have took over cleaning house and all financial things.... i just take it day by day.. when i think theres no way my mom can make it any longer, she surprises me once again. i pray a lot.. cause he has it under control. but i cry a lot too. my emotions are very mixed. anger ,sadness, and more. and i feel ashamed when  iget mad at her. shes my mom. i feel i shoulnt do that. but i cant help it. i shall pray for you all.

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 7/8/2010 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
NC, "don't should on yourself." You are entitled to your feelings and it doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human.

Get Hospice involved for your stepdad when/if he comes home, but they can help YOU by giving respite care, a social worker, etc.

Hugs,
Connie
hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


arneeb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2350
   Posted 7/8/2010 6:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Same thing I was doing... I work in adult foster care with people who are chronically mentally ill and just out of psychiatric wards... and then I was going home and being a caretaker too.... I was coming and going in a million directions... and fighting my emotions... sadness, guilt, love... all rolled up in one... wanted it to end... wanted it to never end.. wanted rest.. wanted peace... but wanted him to live forever... all mixed up in one... meanwhile every day was one of physical and mental exhaustion.. and two months since he passed... and I'm still feeling drained with other problems... that come with all that... but still moving on... prayers and thoughts are with you.  during this time.. Sandi
There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still... Corrie Ten Boom


allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 7/12/2010 3:13 PM (GMT -7)   
how are you getting on nc

nc born and bred
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 7/12/2010 5:56 PM (GMT -7)   
 hello all.
allie, i am taking it day by day. my mom is drinking again. surprise surprise.... her friends think they are helping her her by getting it for her. helping her deal with her grief,they say....
im just waiting on her to go. it will be a whole lot sooner than her friends think. they dont see the weight loss, bruises everywhere, swollen feet, memory loss,and everything else associated with this horrible disease.. they gave my stepdad a time limit of 6 mths or less, if his health stays the way it is now,and they didnt get all the cancer but she will surprise me if she makes it that long. we take her to see him,havent sent him home yet, and sometimes i see regret in her eyes,or maybe thats just wishful thinking on my part. she walks with a gait,if that makes sense, and she knows all of us, but when it comes to remembering even the simplest thing she cant do it.. kidney dr called and told her she missed an appt, i didnt know about, and she says shes not going back..... shes beyond help anyway.... im not really sure if this is coming from liver or kidney problems but now her vision is going.. gets swimmy-headed a lot.. complains of a headache a lot... and so life goes on.
 
Aliie- how are you? are you taking time for yourself? how is your mom?

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 7/12/2010 8:54 PM (GMT -7)   
(((NC and Allie))), Hang in there. You both are doing well under extreme circumstances. All caregivers get through it the best that they can. There's no set rules, except for one......Take care of yourself. Caregivers lose themselves sometimes by not taking the time to make themselves feel better. I didn't really laugh for a long time.......didn't even know it until months after my husband died. When I finally did really laugh again......it struck me. Wow, I had forgotten how to laugh.

Lot's of thoughts and prayers........
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


allie2631
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 7/13/2010 3:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Nc like your mum my mum is in a bad way. her daily routine consists of getting her 40 oz vodka and drinking it through the day and night and getting up in the morning to go to the shops to get some more. apart from going to the shops, she lies all day on the couch,she too lost a lot of weight walks very slowly, covered in bruises, never eats, has constant pain and the mental confusion is terrible. she is in a constant bad mood. she has now taken to stripping herself when wet and lying naked on the couch until she is sober enough to tackle the stairs. but nothing can be done for her, i know she is dying but i did not think it could get worse but it has. so nc whilst we wait for this nightmare to end, it doesn't just goes on and on. taxi drivers bring her drink cause they know it is worth it they have no shame .
my mum also developed bad cattaracts (that how you spell it) one was fixed but the other still waiting until she she is sober enough. maybe thts the problem with your mums vision, ask her if her vision is blurry. The doctors wanted her to go for vital heart tests, the appointment came in but she did not go not surprised as she did not go to any other outpatient clinic.
I do pray for a quick end,I know that is terrible but my mum has no life and she suffers so much.
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