NC, I hope she will be out of her misery soon and stop causing you so much pain. The person my mother became as a result of her alcoholism is what made me stop drinking. I saw myself becoming her and that was a very scary thing.
NC, I am sooo sorry. However, it's good that it was fast and he didn't suffer for a prolonged period. Your feelings are entirely normal. Have you tried writing them down in a journal? Or getting some counseling? I have been exactly where you are. I eventually was able to let go of all the bitter feelings and the anger and disappointment. Those were replaced by sadness and later on gratitude for the things she had taught me--even just by being a horrible example.
WG, it may be hard to believe but some parents really are incapable of loving.
Post Edited (hep93) : 8/7/2010 12:05:39 PM (GMT-6)
NC, you are right--the years of drinking have affected her brain. t's called "wet brain" syndrome. Same thing happened to my mom. They make no sense at all at times. But she doesn't love herself...she loves the bottle. It is her "all." You have to find a way to let go of the anger...and you will. It may not be time yet.
If she's drinking, believe me she will get drunk. It's what an alcoholic does--drinks until passing out or until no more booze. I really think you need to maintain some physical distance for your own mental and emotional health.