Rough Day Today

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nc born and bred
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 9/7/2010 6:11 PM (GMT -7)   
rough day today..... we had a resident where i work pass away... confused so much grief and sorrow these past few months.... i would like to be happy again.. i spend my days worrying myself about my mom.. she is so depressed on top of everything else thats going on..... she sleeps all the time. has started having accidents.. cant make it ti bathroom. i see the signs, and i know what they mean. but this is so hard... i guess i have a love-hate relationship with my mom.. she really hasnt had the energy to be mean. you only have one mom and im slowly losing mine... but drinking was her choice, so thats the way it goes... i miss my stepdad, he was such a good guy.. i know im rambling,thanks for allowing me to do that..

Post Edited By Moderator (Pink Grandma) : 9/7/2010 8:12:47 PM (GMT-6)


arneeb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2350
   Posted 9/7/2010 6:20 PM (GMT -7)   
oh no nc born and bred....me too two friends died after Mike this summer and I just found out about both.. there were past coworkers...and I'm leaving our home soon... and now I'm losing it...mental health... at least tonight... but I'll get it all buttoned up and game face on again...as Anne Frank said I still have to believe in the goodness of mankind... or something like that.. I still find purpose in the work I do...oh just enjoy the messes... sounds odd.. but I tried to bargain with God I told him I'd do anything just to have Mike breathing there... so enjoy the fact she's still there... if that can make any sense... and know that Im here... were all here on this walk... your feelings are so very vivid and real... oh you are not rambling.. never rambling... and believe me I had a love/hate relationship with Mike over the drinking too.. and the ups and downs..in the end it doesn't not diminish the love...and that's what I choose to remember... the love.. my prayers are with you... Sandi
There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still... Corrie Ten Boom

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 9/7/2010 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   

{{{{{{{{{{{NC}}}}}}}}}}}}  So sorry for your rough day.  It's hard when something like that happens when you are already feeling so down.

Would your mom wear Depends (adult diapers/absorbent underwear?)  This would help, especially when she is asleep.

Hugs,

Connie


hep93
Forum moderator - Hepatitis
 
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 9/7/2010 7:18 PM (GMT -7)   
 (((NC))),   Know that you have a lot of friends here thinking and praying for you.  Try to take some "ME" time.    It's essential for your own well being.  
 
I hope you don't mind, I just gave your post a title. 
 
Lot's of thoughts and prayers........ 
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.

Butterflythree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 954
   Posted 9/7/2010 8:48 PM (GMT -7)   
NC, I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Butterflythree
 
There is always hope!

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
   Posted 9/7/2010 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   
its hard isnt it. watching t hem fade away slowly. it was so tough on me and yet no one really noticed cause i stayed strong almost through it all(i only broke down twice). everyone thought of me as the tough one that had to stay strong for the family. would have been nice for someone to be there for me and notice that i was crying on the inside. i then slipped into an existance that i didnt know i was in until hubby woke me up and said hey yu stopped caring. take time for you, dont be afraid to break down. it will catch up to you.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.

nc born and bred
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 9/8/2010 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   
i am so ready for this year to be over.....too many things have happened... mom wanted to go to cemetary today... half carried her to car.... he is buried in a lil country cemetary.. i got like 30-45 feet from grave and she still couldnt walk it..... to see this mean evil ,always on the go woman reduced to barely nothing is rough... my older brother cannot and will not forget or forgive all the mean things she said to stepdad... i have tried to tell him it was the liquor doing that, but he is holding tight to a grudge.. my niece who is 10 went for a physical today weighs the same as my mom. thats pitiful..83 pounds.. i dont know how this woman keeps going.. bruises all over arms now. accident problems,cant walk.. just going down at what seems like such a rapid pace...i just hope that my mom asks forgiveness for all shes done, not from us, but maybe there is still a miracle in the making... i do all i can to keep her calm and also comfortable.. i am pretty much exhausted at the end of the day, but i have to do this for her. she gave me life so i will try to make hers more comfortable.. theres that love-hate thing going on again... turn   just get so frustrated. im too kindhearted. i have been told that a lot.. but so be it. i am what i am. her being the way she is and was has been motivation for me to live my life differently.. everything happens for a reason, just not sure what the reason is here... well im rambling again, so i will go. hope you all are doing well.

arneeb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2350
   Posted 9/8/2010 6:37 PM (GMT -7)   
I am humbled that you share your journey with us...to kneel beside the one you love and care as they go through all these things... to me that was like taking a breath.... but to kneel beside the one who you have hated and take the hand of that person in forgiveness... takes my breath away...I just read in a daily motivational book about forgiving your enemies..
"I believe that God blesses us tremendously whe we intercede for those who have offended or betrayed us.......
Praying for someone who has hurt us is so powerful because, when we do, we are walking in love toward that person..
Don't let mean-spirited people bring you down to their level by tempting you to act like they act."
very loose synopsis...sorry can't reveal name or book.. but I just bought it ..today... following some advice to get back into reading for myself... and here this gem was on today's reading..
I was ready for Mike to be gone when we were traveling on the path that you are because I was exhausted mentally and physically... not because I didn't love him... he knew that... it's a very "normal" feeling borne of exhaustion and dealing with coming to grips with the loss of your loved one...bless you for your effort ... bless you... Sandi
There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still... Corrie Ten Boom
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