Medication side effects and intimacy with a spouse

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Shel
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 4/26/2006 1:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone, I have a personal question that I would like to ask.  Jennifer as you read this, please let me know if I'm out of the boundaries of the forum.  I will understand if I am.
Since I am the caregiver for my husband Robert I have noticed a huge decrease in our intimacy with each other.  That was not the case before.  We were always very intimate with each other and I just don't get that from Robert since his illness.  I have read on the medications that he takes and some do have these side effects that cause people to not have the desire for intimacy.  He's aware of my concern because it's a concern of his too.  Most males in their early 40's don't have these problems.  Is there anyone else experiencing this with your spouse?  If so, how are the both of you dealing with it?  What can Robert and I do to help us through this?  Comments anyone?
*Hugs, Thoughts, and Prayers*
   *Shel in New Mexico, USA*
 


TDT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 402
   Posted 4/26/2006 1:39 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Shel,

Mark and I, are having the same problems. Alot of this can be the medication they take. Cirrhosis also has these effects. We just settle for cuddling, our love is still strong. The doctors have told us, that after the liver transplant it will come back. We just take one day at a time.

Hugs

Teresa


Shel
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 4/26/2006 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Theresa,

I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I agree, one day at a time.

Shel
*Hugs, Thoughts, and Prayers*
   *Shel in New Mexico, USA*
 


frieghtened
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 4/26/2006 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Shel

 I'm frightened and my boyfriend Steve has cirrhosis of the liver and is in the end stage. We have been going through the intimacy issue now for a little over a year since he was first diagnosed. Our problem however just suddenly stopped, there was nothing. We've sort of just adjusted to the problem now and just do more holding each other and spend more time together. His condition has been so up and down within this past year it is like a wild rollercoaster ride. I know it can really be frustrating for you but it is just as frustrating for your husband. Steve tried to explain to me how he feels about  it and I have expressed my feelings to him. In that aspect I feel that we have grown closer because before we never thought we would be in this situation. Steve's doctor said after the transplant he will be as good as new. It is just so hard in between time. The only advise I can give is maybe talk to each other on how you feel about the situation so each of you can understand were the other is coming from. It has worked for Steve and I. I know it is really hard, especially with all the other issues that arise with their condition. Just take a deep breath, relax and take it one day at a time. It usually helps me to do that anyway. Hope I was of some help.

frightened



Shel
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 4/26/2006 3:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Frightened,

I'm glad to know that I'm not in this boat alone. Robert has been diagnosed with end stage liver disease with possible transplantation also. Robert and I have talked with each other about this situation and we both agree that it has to do with his illness and we're both trying to deal with it the best we can. It is hard and frustrating at times. That is why I felt I needed to talk about this topic with people who are going through the same situation. Thank you for sharing. Great advice.

Shel
*Hugs, Thoughts, and Prayers*
   *Shel in New Mexico, USA*
 


frieghtened
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 4/26/2006 8:04 PM (GMT -7)   

shel,

 you are more than welcome. Believe me I know how frustrating it is. Steve is 11 years older than me so there are times that it really bothers me. I just try and think of something else, take a very deep breath, relax and go on to another day. Then there are days that it doesn't bother me. It was really hard at first, especially when it just suddenly came to a halt, but after a little time goes by it does get a little easier to deal with as with anything though there are tough days.

frieghtened


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 4/26/2006 9:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Sexual intimacy with my partner, Bill, came to a halt about 8 months ago when my hip dislocated for the first time. We are basically afraid of dislocating it, and it doesn't help that I'm wearing a hip/leg brace. At 63, it really isn't that important to me, but I know Bill misses sex. He has been great about it, though...very understanding. My liver cancer really has nothing to do with it...it's just the hip.

C.

Shel
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 4/27/2006 9:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you ladies for sharing your thoughts. Robert and I are starting to learn to maintain closeness in other ways as well. We both really miss the sexual intimacy a lot! We do have sex sometimes but not like we used to! I guess that's what we miss the most.
*Hugs, Thoughts, and Prayers*
   *Shel in New Mexico, USA*
 


wheredidigo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 4/27/2006 8:46 PM (GMT -7)   
rick and i are having the same problem,,:big huge sigh: oh i do miss it soooooo much sometimes,,,,i know rick feels bad,and i do my best to let him know its ok,but then other times i get mad,,,i try not to show it,but i feel cheated,,,,,,and less desireable,,,,i try to tell rick that we have to explore other ways to fulfill our intimacy needs,but i see it in his eyes,,,,,,,he knows that our natural instinct is to need sex,,,,,,,as im sure he sees it in my eyes too,i just hope when the treatments are over we will be able to return to a somewhat normal sex life........good subject shel,,i hadnt really felt like even bringing it up
trish

III
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 4/29/2006 6:23 AM (GMT -7)   
what are the symptoms of cirrhosis???? I have never had a biopsy yet....and sometimes I get this soreness in my right upper back
eileen

Barbara P
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 256
   Posted 4/29/2006 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Eileen,

Sorry about your dog; I know how difficult it is to lose a dear companion.

A CT scan will show if you have Cirhhosis or not; they can see the wings on the liver. Gene's Doctor made the initial diagnosis when his symptoms did not go away completely after 3 months of doing everything right. The ascites and edema continued and biliruben remained quite elevated. YOur liver problems are different than my hubby's so the diagnosis of Cirrhosis might be different.

I don't think pain alone would determine Cirrhosis; I'm sure your doctor could clarify things for you. It's not necessary to do a biopsy to rule out cirrhosis.

Hope this information has been helpful and that you have a great weekend.

Hugs,

Barb


                     LIVE IN THE MOMENT!
 
                          Hugs and Prayers
                                     Barb
 
 
 
 

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