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wynginger
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 8/17/2006 9:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello I am new to this site. My sister is an alcoholic and in esld. I have had to remove myself from her life. She was once a beautiful woman now she cant remember when the last time she showered. My family and I have been thru the most horrfic things with my sister, things I didnt know existed. I drank for 18 years put it down one day and walked off never picked it back up. I am angry with her!! Why cant she!? She gets up everyday and makes a choice....to drink. I make a choice not to! Everyone one in my family babies her "Oh she has a disease" I tell them She has a self inflicted disease!! I do not feel bad for her anymore she makes a choice just like I do everyday. I am sorry for being so angry...but I am! I am so angry with her!! Its okay shes distroyed our lives, lies with every breathe to get what she wants ...vodka, its okay for her to rip our hearts out, but dont interfer with her ability to get vodka or she will turn on you in away an animal does when threaten.

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 8/18/2006 2:41 PM (GMT -7)   
"I have had to remove myself from her life. She was once a beautiful woman."

Wow, Ginger, it sounds like you are talking about my mother. I went through the exact same thing with her. She died in 2005 at the age of 82. Amazing that she lived so long, and didn't die from an alcohol related illness. I had cut myself off from her over 20 years ago, and only found that she had died through the SS Death Index online. My sister obtained a death certificate and medical records from the hospital where she died.

I had a lot of anger at one time. I was told to pray for her every night for a month...asking for the things for her that I would want for myself, such as sobriety, serenity, etc. It didn't do anything for her, but it certainly helped me release the anger. Try it. You have nothing to lose except your hurt and anger. :)

Connie

wynginger
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 8/20/2006 2:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Connie your right I am angry and I do need to let go. She used to be my best friend. Now I can trust anything she says...she says what she thinks you want to hear to get vodka. We used to just walk into each others houses, she is not longer welcome in mine. If she comes over she is confined to the livingroom otherwise she will walk out with something to pawn ...for vodka. Her whole world revolves around vodka. Her health... she has went thru muscle wasting, jaundice, acsites, now she has generalized swelling she has put on at least 50 or more pounds in the last yr or so. She hallucinates, cant remember if she has eaten or taken a shower. All the drs. have her on is latulose for her bouts of wet brain or brain fog. Yes I was her drinking buddy at one point....I do not understand why I could put it down and she cant!!! It makes me angry!! I get up every morning and say no not drinking today!! So can she!! I have to work 40 hours a week, pay my rent and bills and food ect.... my family bought her a house, pays ALL bills and when her refrig is bare they buy her groceries. The whole while she sits and drinks..her vodka!! I hope soon I can let go but right now I am mad!

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 8/20/2006 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Do your folks know that they are enabling your sister and that they are not doing her any favors?  With what's being provided for her, she has no reason to stop drinking.  My mom had a wet brain also.  At that point, I don't think a person CAN make the choice to put it down.  Of course, there is always the Baker or Meyer's Act to force her into treatment.
 
Just please do not let what she does eat at you.  Do not let her "live rent-free in your head."  nono     You are the one who is hurting when you do that--it doesn't bother her at all.  It's important that you not dwell on what she is doing--or you could find yourself picking up a drink.  I really think it is the disease itself that has you so angry...what it is doing to your sister, yourself, and your family.  For your own sanity, write a gratitude list of all the things you have in your life that are positive and that you are thankful for.  You cannot change your sister, but you can change your focus.
 
Many hugs,
Connie

wynginger
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 8/21/2006 8:12 PM (GMT -7)   
I am angry at the self inflicted disease! It has robbed me of my only sister, torn my family apart. This self inflicted disease is like a monster. A monster that is out of control. I miss our talks, our hugs, our laughter. I miss her so much. I couldnt imagine living without her in my life until she took my youngest daughter for a drive (which I was unaware of, daughter was at my grandmothers house helping in the garden) I get a call from my sister that her and Kersten had taken a drive and she didnt know where she was! I could barely understand her. I had her put Kersten on the phone and tracked her down. I almost slapped her! How could she have done something like that!! I have educated my children on this illness my sisters has and that they are not to be alone with her. It feel like a part of me has died right along with the part I loved most about her. Ginger

wynginger
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 8/21/2006 8:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I have done everything short of begging my parents "please let her stand on her own two feet!!" I have yelled! They tell me a family is supposed to support one another to be there for one another!! My sister is mentally ill they say and she needs to be looked after!! I screamed one time at my father "Where in the hell were you when I stoped drinking fell into a major depression and couldnt feed my own children??" Where the hell were you??? I will tell you where you were!! You were standing in my livingroom demanding I pick my ass up and go on!!! Life isnt all cherries and cream you said!! Anyway Connie Thank you for listening er I mean reading I feel better!!

wheredidigo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 8/30/2006 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
sorry for such a late reply,but sounds like your parents did right by you,,,,,,,made ya find your backbone,so be thankful for that,that YOU are alive and sober,,,hope your sister finds herself again
trish
 
 
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,but rather to skid in sideways,chocolate in one hand,wine in the other,body used up ,totally worn out and screaming"WOOOOHOO WHAT A RIDE!!!" 

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