It's been quite a few months since I've posted. I've been in a shell and feeling overwhelmed.
Gene's rollercoaster ride continues. He's had one major crisis after another and somehow manages to pull back from the edge just in time. He wasn't named Miracle Gene for nothing.
My Gene has very little energy these days and sleeps most of the day. His encephalopathy changes depending on what is going on in his body. Gene was very ill over Thanksgiving, unable to eat or find the energy to get out of bed. He lost ten pounds over night but the ascitis and edema are still bad. And Gene's breath sounds are diminished. His rotating antibiotics seem to be controlling his level of toxins.
Gene continues to receive palliative hospice care and our current team is compassionate and willing to be there for us. Every two weeks Gene sees his Oriental Medicine doctor who prescribes herbs. On Saturday, he explained that Gene's need for sleep and symptoms were from his body detoxifying itself. And that overall he is a tiny bit stronger. I'm holding onto his words and praying this is the case. On the other hand, Hospice is saying it is Gene's liver finally giving out totally and the end is coming.
Gene's esophageal cancer is stable. That is the most remarkable part of his condition. He has had no surgery, chemo or radiation but in almost three years, his cancer has not spread. Swallowing is becoming a little difficult and we have to be careful Gene does not aspirate with thin liquids.
I think that about brings things up to date on Gene.
I have emotions all over the place ranging from fear, anxiety, depression, acceptance to joy. That seems to be part of the caregiving, spousal journey.
I hold you in my thoughts and prayers,
LIVE IN THE MOMENT!