I appear to be a normal, well adjusted, succesful 24 year old. I have a pretty decent job a nice home and a fabulous partner. That is all on the outside. On the inside, I CONSTANTLY fear for my life. If I feel a slight twitch i am sure it is the sign of a chronic and deadly disease that will rob me of my life.
I am in constant fear that i am going to die, or that my partner will get in a car accident or other random things.
Most recently ( what i like to call my "death of the day") I have been consumed and convinced that i have a brain tomor AND i have a blood clot in my brain...I think was brought on by my partners aunt recently dieing of a brain hemmorage..she woke up one morning had a HORRIBLE headache and it got worse and worse, and ended up telling my partners cousin ( her daughter) to call the amulance...by the time she got to the hospital she was brain dead ...P.S. this was 1 day after Thansgiving
What brought my problem on you ask?
I have now been on antibiotics for 1 month for a sinus infection that woudl JUST NOT go away. so my doctor prescribed biaxin for the first two runs and now has me on bactrim,which really seems to be working ( no more headaches which I am sure are a stroke, and no more facial pain or jaw pain..which i am sure is a heart attack)..good right....
well these last couple of days i have been feeling a pain in the left upper shoulder, similiar to a pinched nerve feeling. well last ngiht I noticed the pain was not there, I had NO syptoms of ANYTHING and everythign was going great! All ofa sudden when i was removing my head band, I touch the base of my slukk on the leftside ( behind my left ear) and it hurt..so ofcourse I kept touching it, and it got worse. I tried to brush it off and actually ended up being able to fall asleep. Well this mornign I woke up and found the pain DID NOT go away and in fact worsened, and is now more tender. So i am now sure of one of two thigs....I ahve a pinched nerve, or a blod clot.
This is sick, and I feel so alone. My family tries to soothe me, and bless my partners heart, she has no clue what to do. I feel lost.
These past two years i have been to the emergency room 3 times.
1). shortness of breath..which i still get now and then( not near as bad)
2). Chest pain...where an EKG was performed and came back negative..now when i ave chest pain I have to remind myself I already had the EKG and I end up calming down
3). dizziness and disorientation( turned out by glasses prescription needed updating).
More recently ( which was part of the sinus infection) I had tingly feelings on both sides of my head which I was sure was a lack of oxygen getting to my brain...
I am just tired, I am soo tired, PLEASE HELP ME, I just want to be normal. what can I do..do I need a physciatrist?
I definintley suffer from anxiety to some degree. i am very high strung, and do get nervous when I experience ANY symptom..which in turns makes it worse.
Update: I just got off of the phone with my doctor ( he asked that I call him when i was half way through with my meds) so i thought I woudl kill two birds with one stone and i asked him about the pain at the base fo my skull..he said it sound like a muscular skeletal thing,a nd I should apply a warm or cold compress and take an ibuprohin ( did I mention I HATE pills) and often fell like my throat is clogged.....
In any event, I know somethign in my brain is causing all of this, whether it is depression, anxietly, or what...I fell like a loser.....I do nto know any other people my age sufferign from this, and I do nto knwo what to do. I was on lexapro which my insurance did nto cover so my doc switched me to a lower generic. Then I relocated ( for work) and got a new doc ( which he is wonderful) and we have not dicsussed anti-depressants....I really do nto know