Father suffering Liver faliure?

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carolynvb
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Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 540
   Posted 4/14/2007 10:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I spend much of my time on the lyme disease board but noticed this board and had some questions...Not sure if I am in the right place to ask them but I will give it a shot..
 
My father now 68 has been a chronic alcoholic all my life.  He was a functioning alcoholic but not anymore.
He has declined over the last 5 years.  He refuses to see a doctor but the dizziness and now leg weakness has overtaken so badly he cannot leave the house. He now drinks about a bottle of whiskey a day plus his beer... His wife recently told me that he is urinating blackish substances. He has sores that appear on his feet and he just won't heal. He is suffering some type of dimetia he kind of comes in an out of it...and the last 6 months I have really lost my dad.  It is hard as I am in the US and he is in the UK.  He cannot focus on anything or listen anymore and the once intelligent man is now just a shell.  He refuses treatment.  I went over to the UK 3 yrs ago and had him in the hospital as he kept falling he detoxed so badly even with the drugs he was given that  he had siezures and he ended up leaving (sneaking out of the hospital and going to the pub!) after they took his cigarettes away from him after he tried to light one up in the hospital ward! He will never go back.....I am very ill with chronic lyme disease and also recently diagnosed with a benign brain tumor that has to be addressed.  I am scared something will happen when I am like this and it is almost impossible for me to leave the US as I am on IV antibiotics and due to have radiation on the tumor this year.....
 
My question is this.... How long can I expect him to be around from this point? I am sure when you are urinating black and barely able to have your legs hold you up it cannot be good.....any thoughts???? He barely eats anything and is actually becoming quite violent.  If we put him in the hospital by force it would kill him for sure and even with all his afflictions he is still a cantankerous old man....
 
Thanks guys, I know that some might feel all his issues are self inflicted but it is a terrible sickness....For all the people involved with him over the years. I certainly have plenty of baggage that I store from life as a daughter of an alcoholic. I have forgiven the hell he put us through all these years and just pity him now..
 
Thank you,
 
Carolyn

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 4/14/2007 6:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Carolynvb, I am so sorry to hear about you and your father. It is doubly hard for you when your so sick yourself. It does sound like your father may have end stage liver disease. The dimetia sounds like encephalaphy which is caused by high ammonia levels in the blood stream, or possibly an infection. The black urine could be blood or his kidneys shutting down. Does he have black stools? If he does have internal bleeding he may not have a whole lot of time left with out going to the doctor to start some kind of treatment. And if he continues to drink that will shorting his life as well. My husband has ESLD and has been given only a few months to live. He has Hep C and was also an alcoholic which really put a strain on his liver. He is paying the price now for all the fun he thought that he had while he was drinking. He quit 3 years ago but it was too late. Between his Hep C and cirrohis he developed liver cancer. He finally made the transplant list this past January but they took him back off less than a month later as his cancer had grown too much. I do know some what of how you feel but as you have probably been told already even if you were near him it still would have been up to him to stop his drinking and going to the doctor. Alcoholics can be very stubborn. Don't you feel any quilt at all for what your father has done to himself. Just love him.

My thoughts and prayers will be with you..........Pink Grandma

carolynvb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 540
   Posted 4/14/2007 6:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Pink Grandma,

Thank you so much for your reply, I am so sorry about your husband.

Yes my father will not get any help at all. I cannot imagine the pain he is in each day as he has no medication. His biggest complaint is the leg weakness and also the dizziness. His wife is younger than him and he is becoming difficult to control. He has never been quite so confrontational physically. Luckily he is too weak to do much damage but he wakes up in the night completely furious. His mind is just failing. He is so frustrated. I sent him DVD's of the century wars(he loves war movies) and he had issues figuring out how to play them and so took a hammer and smashed them all...
The sad thing is that he has a 13 year old daughter that has to watch him decline. I can accept he chooses not to get help, but I cannot accept that she has to be around to see it. He can no longer bathe himself or shower as he is too weak. I have sent info on benefits available in the UK to his wife so she can get some help but he won't accept it. It is wrong. I almost wish she would just leave, she is already injured as she tried to help him and she is tiny and now has to have shots in her shoulder for pain..... what a mess. Before he got so bad I actually felt as though I had a father for the first time in 30+ years. He seemed to find some compassion and expression in his heart it lasted a couple of years.....I guess we all have regrets he must have so many....Thank you for your help. I was pretty sure things are close to the end for him. I think he knows. Now he says the alcohol helps with the pain.....Who knows.

Take care and God bless you. Sending hugs your way,

Carolyn

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 4/14/2007 10:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Carolyn, the encephathapy does cause alot of anger and sometimes violence with the patient. I've been hit by my husband a couple of times while he was having an epizode. I think that it is the frustration of them knowing that they are not themselves and cannot do anything about it. My husband never remembers what he has said or done while in one. At first, before I realized what it was I took everything very personal. But now I know that it isn't me, it is the disease and himself that he was so mad at. It is still hard to take the abuse and sometimes I lose my temper but usually I just take a walk out in the yard to calm down.
And if your dad isn't taking any medication then the alcohol probably does help with the physical pain and also the mental pain as well. And yes is it terrible that his daughter has to witness her dad and mom going through such horrible situations. Hopefully it will turn her against alcohol seeing what damage it has done to her dad and also to her mom. Keep remembering the good times with your dad before he got sick as he is really not the same person now. And thanks for the hugs. I could use all I can get. Thoughts and prayers....Pink Grandma
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