Mommyangel, I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you had to start dealing with your mom's illness at a young age. My husband was diagnosed with cirrhosis, portal hyperstension, and varices a little over a year ago. I started noticing changes in his personality probably about a year before that. He isn't really going through any of the really bad stuff yet, and it is already almost more than I can take, so I can only imagine what you are going through. You miss the person that you loved and still love so much.
I will be here if you need anything, and I will keep you in my prayers.
There is always hope!